Christmas spirit
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  1. #1
    Registered User pop goes the weasel's Avatar
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    Default Christmas spirit

    Has anyone seen it, I seem to have lost it somewhere. Everything is so expensive overly hyped. I have a 14 year old sd that thinks she has to have everything even though she knows that her dad is laid off and it hurrys us to put food on the table and we have to have another car before the end of the month. We actually have one waiting on us we have to wait til my DIL gets sworn in as executer of his dads estate to get it. They are letting us pay payments on it thank heavens. When I tried to explain all this to my sd her first words were, " it isn't one of those 1970's cars is it" I told her it didn't matter as long asit gets us from point A to point B and has a heater. Our other one has no heater. Her mother taught her that the world owes her something and we can't get the dollar signs out of her head. Anything homemade is junk to her, If it isn't name brand it isn't good enough. She's in for a big disappointment. What bothers me most is every year we make up a cookie tray for someone. This year we were going to take one to the local nursing home. But with everything the way it is we can't. Sorry so long I just needed to talk to someone. Maybe I'll find the spirit of Christmas when I clean the bedroom. Maybe it fell under the bed with the dust bunnies.

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    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    I know you said you can't take a cookie tray to your local nursing home, but I'll bet you can find your Christmas spirit there anyway, and maybe spread some in the process.

    Get a group together (friends neighbors, etc.) make sure you include lots of kids. Schedule a time with the nursing home, and head over there to Christmas carol. You won't be able to help it, you'll find your spirit. And the residents love hearing the kids sing. I did this last year with my son's boy scout troop, and really wasn't looking forward to it. I thought it would be cheesy and well, just not very cool. Surprisingly, it was wonderful. The look on the older ladies faces watching the children was enough to make me forget how totally uncool I looked! It might also do your daughter good if you can talk her into going.

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    Registered User freebs's Avatar
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    my christmas spirit left 11 years ago when i was on bed rest with dd. then 6 years ago my baby brother was killed right after the new year i just have a hard time even putting up a tree

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    Registered User MTS04's Avatar
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    I don't have nearly as much on my plate as you do, and my Christmas Spirit never made it this year either.

    My house looks the same as it did in the middle of summer. No decorations, no tree, nothing. In fact, I'm going to work on Chrsitmas just so I can avoid it altogether.

    I'm sorry you are so down, I hope things begin to look up.

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    Registered User 57plymouth's Avatar
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    It's alive and well here.

    Of course, this is DD's first Christmas. And the DW and I LOVE Christmas. Not the gifts, but the decorations, the concerts, the special church services, and celebrating Christ's birth. It's the only time of year we do any sort of decorating at all.

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    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freebs View Post
    my christmas spirit left 11 years ago when i was on bed rest with dd. then 6 years ago my baby brother was killed right after the new year i just have a hard time even putting up a tree
    Freebs, so sorry the holidays are such a tough time for you. {{{Hugs}}}

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    Registered User MoonMommy's Avatar
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    When money was a lot tighter for us, I tried really hard to make more things that were inexpensive. It still gave us the holiday spirit while allowing us to still do stuff. See what you can make with recycled stuff.

    ((HUGS)) to everyone having a hard time. My mom reminded me about how there were a few Christmases where I didn't put up a tree or decorations because I had no holiday cheer.

  8. #8
    Registered User pop goes the weasel's Avatar
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    I thought about going anyway. We lost my FIL to suicide 3 years ago and my fiance died 7 years ago. Its hard to pick up the pieces after all this. I know there ar people worse off than we are. I never did spend alot at Christmas, after all it isn't our birthday we are celebrating. Thanks for the words of support. Everyone have a Happy Holiday.

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    Registered User nvmommyx6's Avatar
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    I'm thinkin that maybe SD needs to go volunteer at the local nursing home with you???!!!!!

  10. #10
    Master Dollar Stretcher
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    I'm sorry your SD is not grasping the financial situation. I hope you can find your Christmas Spirit. I've found it with the help of my young kids and my close friend and my neighbors across the street.

    I've been listening to the Christmas music radio station when I'm in the car with the kiddos. We've been recording the Christmas movies on ABC Family and Hallmark Channel.

    14 can be a very tough age. Have you tried asking her why she is responding the way she is? Does she truly understand your financial situation?

  11. #11
    Master Dollar Stretcher madhen's Avatar
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    My father died, many years ago, just before T-Day, and that Christmas was the worst I ever spent. Everyone just cried a lot. The next Christmas was a little better, but his absence is always keenly felt. But I keep in mind that my father LOVED Christmas. He was always such a serious guy, and we were dirt poor (and I mean DIRT POOR - living in an airstream trailer plugged into his mother's house for electricity). But he would always stop at the Sprouse-Reitz (sp?) and buy some little penny toys and wrap each one up, just so we would have something fun to open among the requisite socks and underwear. My mother was a total joykill and would try to tell us how much they had to sacrifice to give us presents, and my father would always shut her up with a look and just by saying her name...once.

    So I keep in mind how my father, like the reformed scrooge, tried to keep Christmas in his heart all year long, and I try my best to make it a special holiday for the dwindling family members I have left. While all I hear before Christmas is complaining from my sister (I'm so glad you put up a tree, because I just don't have the energy for it. I would be just as happy if Christmas went away.) and from my mother (who launches, about this time, into long and detailed stories about my father's unsuccessful fight with cancer, and basically makes it all about herself), I tell myself that my father, were he here, would make it his duty to make the day as wonderful as possible for everyone. And since I have always been my father's daughter, I have taken on that task for myself.

    For all the griping and complaining beforehand, my family always leaves my house on Christmas Eve smiling and hugging one another, and they talk for weeks beforehand and afterward about how nice it is at my house at Christmas. I put up decorations and buy lots of small silly presents, just like my father would, but while they don't know it, my real present to them every year is one night of happiness and solidarity, when everyone feels real affection for everyone else. And what they also don't know is that I do that as a tribute to my father. I don't love putting up decorations. I don't love hauling a tree up and spending an entire weekend getting it trimmed (or hauling it downstairs a month later). I don't love standing in freezing cold temps and stringing lights. But I don't do it because I have a Polly-annish love for Christmas. I do it because it is necessary to remind and bring Christmas into the hearts of others, and its true spirit, which has always been about peace and love and being grateful for family past and present, and as such, I don't mind doing it.

    So Merry Christmas, dammit.
    Last edited by madhen; 12-15-2008 at 01:30 PM.
    DH aka Mad Hen
    (http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)

    Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want. Anna Lappe

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    Registered User pop goes the weasel's Avatar
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    My sd understands the situation but insists that everything has to be number one. She came to live with us after her mother lost everything to drugs and the older kids were stealing food from the local store. She said she doesn't care this is what she wants and expects. I guess she'll have to learn the hard way. We have tried everything we can think of. Oh and she won't volunteer because 1) she won't get paid and 2) she doesn't like old people. I fear she's going to have a really hard life ahead of her unless she changes. It's been a long couple of years let me tell ya. But the new year willhopefully bring everyone better and happier times. Or at least easier.

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    Registered User Texasgirl's Avatar
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    Your sd needs a reality check.
    Not to be rude but you and your dh are the adults in the house.

    Tell her this is how much we are spending. Now if there is something on your list that falls in this range then you get it . If not then you do without.

    We had to do this with ss years ago. He wanted some really expensive shoes.
    He was told if you want them then that is all your getting for Christmas.

    He got his shoes and 3 weeks later said shoes where falling apart.

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    Registered User nvmommyx6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pop goes the weasel View Post
    I fear she's going to have a really hard life ahead of her unless she changes.
    I have 3 step children that were hell on earth when I got them!! The oldest a girl and 13 when I got her and bitter at every woman in the world and everyone and everything from what her mother had done to her! She just turned 20 in September and is actually having no choice but to not like the hard life she has chosen for herself by her actions and straightening out!
    If you ever need to talk, feel free to let me know!
    Merry Christmas and Happy new Year to your family no matter what!!!
    Mommy

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    Quote Originally Posted by madhen View Post
    So Merry Christmas, dammit.
    Madhen you make me smile! Keep it up the world needs more of you.

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