world's worst gift giver

[Imarachne]

I know what you mean about folks turning their nose up at something you made and not bought. I make greeting cards and yes, they are not always pluperfect but I get the forced smile of polite gratitude. So this year-I'm not giving any of my cards to regulars--I'm sending some overseas to some soldiers who will appreciate a note from USA .

[Jayceef]

Hey I know how you feel also. I feel terrible, but Dh and I get into an argument almost every Christmas because of gift giving to his family. He never thinks anything I pick out is good enough. He does like the thought of homeade gifts, but I don't think certain family members would be appreciative of them. We give all his aunts (6), grandmas (2) and draw names for both of us on each side of his family. We also have to buy for his DM and DB and my family, DM, DD and two brothers and sisters. So I know what you are talking about, it is STRESSFUl! The first year we started dating I got his little cousin in the drawing and he told me to get her an outfit and that it could only come from certain stores in the mall. We got her again last year and DH picked out pajamas at Shopko and her mother was mad. We had a talk this year and I think all this gift giving will start winding down the next few years. Don't worry about giving those thoughtful homeade gifts I would love to have someone make food for me. The best gift that I usually ask for from my DM is a cheesecake. Don't know how she makes it, but it always puts a smile on my face.

[zakity]

Are you serious? They turn their noses up at something homemade? Holy crap! How totaly rude of them! You know, you sound like a great gift-giver.

I think you need to start buying those "kits", you know, the ones with a cute cup, and a packet or two of hot chocolate or those ones with the meat and cheese things in them or the jam ones. And, get them all the same one. I bet you will still get complaints, but at least you didn't really put any effort into their gifts.

That just burns my britches that they do that. You know, a lady I used to know gave me two dishrags that she crocheted. I don't really care for them. They are way too thick. But, you know, they are in the drawer with all the others. They just live at the bottom of the stack. When we get down to them, I am made aware that we are out of dishrags (and that I need to do laundry) and I always get a smile. She took the effort to make them for me. She took the effort to think about me. I will use them until they eventually die.

[perSue]

wow, i had no idea so many ppl would respond!

JanieD - I hear you loud & clear!

I'd never thought about being around bad recipients. I just always thought I was a horrible giver.

I think there are too many people who expect what THEY want... and not what someone wants to give.
Sure, there needs to be a middle ground - give someone something you know they'd like - but there also needs to be someone willing to accept appreciatively too.

Thanks for all who replied.

I know giving "in the name of" would not go over well at all in this extended family. there's the expectation of "get me".
And if you didn't bring something for someone, you don't receive yours!

Food is usually accepted. I think I need to make more of that each year. I'm sure there will still be people who don't like this, or that... or won't eat MY food, or will just throw it away later.
That's happened before to me... I feel like i should be used to it.

Hope people like holiday fabric trivets, wreaths and potpourri. that's all I've got to give this year.

[Surilda]

I have only gotten one "homemade" gift before
and I LOVED it. I was so very touched and
marveled over it.

My sister made a little book for me. It was
about sisters. There were pictures of us
growing up all through it with her commenting
on each one. It was decorated on every
page and tied up with ribbon. It was
certainly a gift of love. I was awed by the
amount of thought and time and love she
put into it, and it brought me to tears.

I would welcome more homemade gifts, but
most of my family isn't crafty. I love kitchen
things and I would be excited over handmade
dish rags or potholders!

I cannot imagine being so rude as your gift
recipients have been. You could have
given them NOTHING. You continue making your
gifts with love and know that you did the best
you could. They are the problem; it isn't
you! Don't let them drag you down this
Christmas! Keep on creating!!!!

[perSue]

I think the biggest thing is that i don't really know what people want or like. they can say "oh i like this" or point things out... but then it's followed by "but i'd never buy that" or something to that effect.

i've never in my life had the kind of reaction i guess maybe i wanna see. i dont want a lot of attention or even fakeness... but it'd sure be nice to have someone brag about something i gave or have a sincere excited reaction over something i baked, handmade or bought.

i see other people's reactions that are jumping or full of energy & excited. or they'll talk about "so&so made the best meal the other day" or "so&so gave this beautiful gift".

i just always feel sub-par... like i don't count or exist.
people just dont remember what i give... and if they do, it's because they didnt like it.

this all supports that i'm a bad gift giver. lol
maybe they're bad recipients too. but i just wanna give "that" gift they'll remember... and i dont see it ever happening.

but thanks for your kind words.

[kittykatstrong]

I think that they are bad gift recipients. If I make something I dont expect them to jump out of their seat but a thank you is always nice.

[miss_thrifty]

ur too funny,(nickname) if i would of known u years ago i would of sent one to ya.
Oh Miss thrifty I would have loved the penguin as that is my knickname I am never cold and I am cheap with the heat so dks named me penguin along time ago lol[/QUOTE]