world's worst gift giver

**perSue** · 11-12-2009, 09:12 PM

yep, that's me!
for any occasion, but especially xmas.
why? well, there's the issue of spending a lotta money...
the issue ppl dont like/appreciate/want homemade gifts...
and mainly the idea that I have NO idea what to get for people.

who? you may ask LOL
my family... dh, ds, heck even in-laws!

it ends up being a blanket, or clothing (like socks or a hat) or potholders or towels.
or if purchased, clothes - tshirts, socks, pj's.
but how many of these do ppl want? (one will suffice usually)

hobbies? sure i know ppl's hobbies.
but they dont want or need anything else.
and they dont like "dust collectors"... only useful or necessary things. which is fine with me.

so i never have a clue what to do...
every year it's painfully stressful to sit there & watch others open their gifts that I feel I've put tons of thought/effort into... and then open what they got for me & think "how did they even know?!?"
I feel like a failure... nothing like that practice remark of "oh how neat" or the fake smile.

i dont want them to think i didnt try...
i just don't have it in me.

i'm a horrible gift giver.
i never know what anyone wants... unless they tell me.
then where's the suprise?!

*sigh*

**craftypam** · 11-12-2009, 09:58 PM

I'm not sure if this will help you, but most of my life when August or September roll around I start listening really well to what people say about what they would like to have. And most of the time they love what I got them. And I promise you it has NEVER been about spending alot of money. Most people just in conversation will let you know what they like. That includes everyone except my mil and she is just happy with what she has so that is my hardest gift EVERY Christmas. Hope this will help you.

**perSue** · 11-12-2009, 10:03 PM

i can listen all day long, but it's like what i get is never the "right one" or what they said they liked.
it's not always about money spent... but sometimes, because i'm on a tight budget, i might buy the exact same thing, but a generic brand of something... and I get "oh, this is ok" as a response.

all i can do is try.....
and tell everyone i'm a horrible gift giver... so they're prepared.
i've never gotten the "oh, no you're not! you got me such&such last year that i loved."

LOL that'll just never happen.

but thanks for trying to help

**Contrary Housewife** · 11-12-2009, 10:14 PM

Have you tried cookies? I have yet to meet someone who isn't happy with a plate of home-made cookies.

**Palooka** · 11-12-2009, 10:46 PM

A gift is well.... a gift. If they don't act like they appreciate it then I worried even bother. But that is just me.

**MaryCarney** · 11-13-2009, 12:48 AM

My dad and step-mom are hard to figure out gift-wise, so every year I give a gift to a deserving family in their name through the Heifer Project/Salvation Army/Christian Freedom International/Operation Christmas Child or some other charity.

**mauimagic** · 11-13-2009, 01:42 AM

Your message made me really sad perSue, that you label yourself that way. I agree with Palooka - you do your best, hopefully have fun with creating gifts for people and be proud of what your gifts are. I would feel much happier getting apresent from someone who said -"I had so much fun making this for you" than hearing "I'm lousy at gift giving" - but perhaps that's just me.

You cannot control how others are going to act, but we all are in charge of our actions and reactions.

I hope you post some more and also that you get some great ideas from others. I would love to hear of you having a lovely, fun holiday.

**nadine64** · 11-13-2009, 01:59 AM

Originally Posted by mauimagic

Your message made me really sad perSue, that you label yourself that way. I agree with Palooka - you do your best, hopefully have fun with creating gifts for people and be proud of what your gifts are. I would feel much happier getting apresent from someone who said -"I had so much fun making this for you" than hearing "I'm lousy at gift giving" - but perhaps that's just me.

You cannot control how others are going to act, but we all are in charge of our actions and reactions.

I hope you post some more and also that you get some great ideas from others. I would love to hear of you having a lovely, fun holiday.

I agree. I would LOVE to have someone take the time to make me something. It would mean so much.

**frugalfranny** · 11-13-2009, 02:09 AM

Craftypam made a really good point about listening to what the people say. Or if you have been around them.....what do they need? Is there something missing from their kitchen? Maybe they need just one 'decent' knife.

And I agree with FOOD........and it doesn't have to be Xmas type stuff. A lot of my friends (and BIL) REQUEST my choc. chip cookies...makes it easy.......though not very Xmassy....but that is okay. I put them on a red plate!

There are some fairly cheap snack items you can make. Or if not so cheap it might make a big bunch that you could divide up.

I LOVE getting home made stuff but have a few people in my family that do 'turn their noses up' at home made.......so I know where you are at with that one. I just IGNORE the rude, UNGRATEFUL, little creep!

**ahmom** · 11-13-2009, 09:24 AM

I'm with you. I hate doing Christmas stuff. It's really annoying to see your hard work not being appreciated. To see kids drop X because they get whatever they want. I could skip the day for the rest of my life.

**Jenibelle** · 11-13-2009, 09:51 AM

Something you could try: Instead of giving a gift, start a new tradition. Whether you pull a board game out of the closet & have the whole family play, purchase a classic Christmas movie & pop a bunch of popcorn to eat while you all watch together. Or you could try giving a practical gift such as PJ's or slippers then give a different variety of that each year. Everyone might know what is coming but they would be in suspense about what type. Will they be footy pajamas? character slippers? etc.

**miss_thrifty** · 11-13-2009, 10:03 AM

your not the only one dear.
One year i took empty apple juice cans, and painted them to look like peguins and filled them full of hm fudge. these were for all the sil and BIL familys. hardly a nod or thank u , fake smile. I started painting these in July outside and glueing on the ear warmes, craft things.
we never picked names I just wanted to be nice and make something for them. and those years I always bought agift under $10 for each of my nephews ans nieces. 8 in all.
I dont think or realized when ur a SAHM ur funds are not very much. And they all love bought gifts and brand names.
I gave up dear and only buy for my own nephews and thats it besides hubby parents and only meme.
I think u are trying and ur too hard on yourself dear. huggsss sweety

**Lora88** · 11-13-2009, 10:26 AM

Persue my dear how are you? Cheer up we love you here. To all those people whos homemade gifts are not appreciated to hell with those people. I wish I could adopt you all and you guys could give me the homemade presents Gifts from the heart are worth so much more anyone can go to the store and buy something I thimk these people are a bunch of materalistic pigs. Since noone appreciates your efforts write a card to all those people stating that the only gift s your giving this year are wishes for their good health and happiness and let it go at that.
Oh Miss thrifty I would have loved the penguin as that is my knickname I am never cold and I am cheap with the heat so dks named me penguin along time ago lol

**frugalgram** · 11-13-2009, 10:33 AM

per Sue,
I think you sound like a great gift giver but you know alot of bad gift receivers. Some people are never happy with a gift and that's not your problem. Try not to be stressed and enjoy the holidays. I do experience a few bad receivers on my list and I am trying not to stress about them either.

**JanieD** · 11-13-2009, 04:09 PM

Warning, long post/rant ahead... you hit a nerve!

I want to say & for you to HEAR its more about them than you. Frugalgram said it first, but it bears repeating. Some are never happy, no matter what. We try year after year to give them what they would like & they still aren't happy.

Can't tell you the number of times certain receivers (always the same ones in our circle) ask for receipts so they can return things. At one point we started taping gift receipts in the boxes. Well, recently we have needed to return a Christmas gift (too many of the same type of item) & a birthday gift (wrong size, completely wrong altogether really) & they "couldn't" find reciepts. I'm certain one was a regift since the store tags had been removed. I have no problem w/regifting but it should be the right size, style, etc for the person... this one was completely off.

Anyway, I DONE trying since they're never satisfied. We will continue to give perfectly nice gifts, but refuse waste hours searching or worrying IF its good enough. As for receipts, they will have to ask & I'm not sure we'll beable to "find" them. Guess I shouldn't feel this way, but I'm just to that point with them.

Please, don't let this spoil you're holiday. Besides you're looking at this all wrong... THEY'RE the world's worst gift receivers. IMO if it has be this brand or that, then maybe they should just buy it themselves. Perhaps you should say you tried to select what they wanted, but knew they wouldn't like it. So, you decided to forgo the gifts this year. Instead you made items to be sold at a church crafts fair or made blankets for the homeless or the animal shelter or knitted items for another charity... whatever fits. Could even give them a card with the charity infomation in it. Maybe they'll get the message.