Homemade gifts?

**trinaren** · 11-17-2009, 10:45 AM

Well, I'm finally getting ready for Christmas. I know I should have started earlier, but it's so easy to put off!

I want to make this Christmas as frugal/green as possible and that usually means making homemade gifts or gift baskets from the dollar store. My problem is this, there's always a part of me that feels that homemade gifts are cheap (and not in the good way that I usually mean it!). I don't know where this comes from because I don't have any friends or family that would look down on somethng like that. Plus, a lot of my homemade gifts are needlework which both cost a fair bit and take a lot of time, and I know people that I give them too appreciate that. I guess I just need some reassurance from other frugal people that it's ok.

**trinaren** · 11-17-2009, 12:02 PM

Ok, so I've been thinking more about this and I think it's less about my aversion to homemade gifts and more the idea that many homemade gifts are smaller. My mother always went all out at Christmas and must have spent hundreds of dollars on my brother and me. I think that has made it so that I think Christmas has to be this big thing and I can't give something "small" like cookies or in-a-jar gifts. They'd be ok for acquaintances, but for family I have this feeling that it needs to be extravagent. Logically, I know that my family and friends would love whatever I give them, but something inside me feels like it's not enough.

I'm not sure what to do to get over this feeling.

**Lisahas2cats** · 11-17-2009, 12:54 PM

One thing that helps put that feeling in perspective is to look at online catalogues for higher-end stores (of course I'm drawing a blank right now on any specific names, LOL), and see how much they charge for gift baskets, gift jars, etc. You can also see how they package these things to look very high-end and use those ideas for your own homemade versions!

**Peaches** · 11-17-2009, 01:00 PM

Nearly all the gifts I'm giving this year are homemade/handmade. Just because you make it yourself doesn't mean it's not worth as much as a gift you paid a small fortune for at the department store. The thing I like about making a gift is that you can make it really personal and relevant to the person you're giving it to. I'd love to receive a gift that someone made specifically for me.

**Contrary Housewife** · 11-17-2009, 05:31 PM

I always thought it was absurd that a hand knitted wool scarf or sweater from Ireland could cost $$$$ from a fancy catalog, but be considered a 'cheap' gift if you made it here at home.

something inside me feels like it's not enough.

And here is the real issue. Why do you feel guilty or pressured to be a big spender? Do you feel you owe something? That you need to make an impression? Keep up appearances? You don't have to answer, just think about it.

**Debbie-cat** · 11-17-2009, 07:38 PM

Most of our gifts that will be given are going to be handmade this year. If the recipients don't like them, then there is nothing I can do about it. I have spent many hours making something for each of them that I thought they would like or use. They came from my heart. I will not be pressured into buying expensive gifts just to give expensive gifts.

**neweyeswideopen** · 11-17-2009, 08:07 PM

I think it's a great idea, I wish more people would do it. The selfish part in me still wants new things but let me tell you the time and effort that are put into handmade gifts is much better. I'm making all mine this year. Scrapbooking calendars and making no sew blankets..still costing a fair amount but saving a ton! Hope your family loves the gifts. Post some pics when you're done.

**Imarachne** · 11-17-2009, 10:17 PM

All you can be responsible for is making the gift--how its received is out of your control. Maybe, based on the individual unappreciative response to your homemade gift this year, next year give a card !

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 11-17-2009, 11:19 PM

I think homemade gifts are GREAT!

I have family that woudn't appreciate them...so, just do minimal other stuff. Their loss!

**mauimagic** · 11-17-2009, 11:28 PM

Love the attitude here - so true. I know the feeling and self imposed pressure to create a huge celebration, but I have figured out that I really don't have to do that.

I will have Christmas wrapped up soon - no pun intended, I do indeed mean 'wrapped up' - I am using the brown kraft paper that is used in shipping so many boxes of school supplies. Others teachers and staff know that I will reuse the paper so they save it for me too!! I do fold in carefully, then when I have some extra time, I iron it and then decorate the paper with paint or stamps. For ribbon I am using holiday colored fabric strips, then using HM tags!! All to be finished by 11/30!!

**Peaches** · 11-18-2009, 12:21 AM

Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife

And here is the real issue. Why do you feel guilty or pressured to be a big spender? Do you feel you owe something? That you need to make an impression? Keep up appearances? You don't have to answer, just think about it.

From The Complete Tightwad Gazette, by Amy Dacyczyn, p, 494:
If you fear people will think you are "cheap" or "thoughtless", ask yourself if you would be happy with the quality of gift you're giving.

and, from p. 496 (and this is what got me on the homemade Christmas bandwagon):

It's unreasonable for others to expect you to spend in accordance with their values.
And it isn't written anywhere that the cost of your gift has to match the cost of theirs. In some cases, both parties can be comfortable with the "inequity."
But even if you do encounter hostility, consider this to be their problem, not yours. If everyone had the courage to ask for a change, Christmas could be transformed from a marketing opportunity to the holiday it was meant to be.

**mauimagic** · 11-18-2009, 12:31 AM

Peaches, mahalo for finding and sharing this. May have to print this out as a wonderful reminder!!

**trinaren** · 11-18-2009, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife

And here is the real issue. Why do you feel guilty or pressured to be a big spender? Do you feel you owe something? That you need to make an impression? Keep up appearances? You don't have to answer, just think about it.

I think you're probably onto something here and it's something I've been trying to work on. I guess I have a little ways to go.

Thanks everyone! I knew my feeling wasn't right, but I just needed to be reminded

Here's another question then. I cross-stitch and have given it out as gifts before, but how many times can I do that? They're usually pictures, and how much wall space do people really have?

**Maine Girl** · 11-18-2009, 08:45 AM

I always make homemade gifts. I also believe that with our economic situation being what it is that the trend is slowly moving toward homemade gifts. I wish i received more homemade gifts.

**Contrary Housewife** · 11-18-2009, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by trinaren

Here's another question then. I cross-stitch and have given it out as gifts before, but how many times can I do that? They're usually pictures, and how much wall space do people really have?

I would say two pictures and then hold off a few years before giving a 3rd. But you might be able to do other items like an accent pillow, tissue box cover, or holiday ornament without folks feeling like they are getting the same gift from you every year.