The Santa Problem...

**annymoll** · 11-18-2010, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by CrazyCat

Yes...same here. Both my boys always made lists...but that doesn't mean Santa brings everything on the list~

I love the 'magic' of santa...and (in my house)~I wanted the kids to 'believe' in something magical as long as they could.
there's a fine line between imagination and what you consider 'lying'.~Every parent has the right to decide how they want to celebrate the holidays.

When my boys 'finally' found out there was no santa..or easter bunny, they were more disappointed that there would be no more 'santa' gifts.

PLUS~if I were so inclined...and that's a big IF....I would get one PSP to 'share'.~

When my grand daughter found out a couple of years ago that Santa was not real she asked me who had been giving her all the gifts. We told her her parents and us.(Santa comes to Grandmas also in our family.)She said,"Oh Grandma! Thank you so much! It's been magical!" She used that same word!!I am so glad the two youngest still believe !!!

**frugal is fun** · 11-18-2010, 02:12 PM

my son is almost six and lately when he sees something he wants I tell him to ask Santa...he stops where he is, looks up and says "Santa will you bring XX for Christmas?" then he just starts to move again.

Up until this year my son's list has been very simple, a new blanket, coloring books, etc. This year however he's been asking for bigger things which I have no intention of getting him.

I am thinking of getting him one "big" thing, meaning probably $30-$40 and then little stuff like crafty stuff, or a new Monster Truck that costs $4, a few new reading books, a few activity books. He's pretty easy to please at this age.

**imagine** · 11-18-2010, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by CrazyCat

I love the 'magic' of santa...and (in my house)~I wanted the kids to 'believe' in something magical as long as they could.
there's a fine line between imagination and what you consider 'lying'.~Every parent has the right to decide how they want to celebrate the holidays.

Very good point.

I also do not feel that I'm lying to my children as I believe "Santa" is real he just isn't a man/jolly old elf in the red suit that lives at the north pole.
I believe that "Santa" is anyone that carries on the work of the Original St Nicholas and gives an anonymous Christmas gift.

**Sophia** · 11-18-2010, 02:34 PM

For us personally we don't do Santa. I always wanted my children to know the gifts were from us. It can cause problems. When My youngest was in public school ( I home school him now). He stood up in k- when santa come in and said I hope you know that is just a man dressed up LOL. I would get them a smaller gift. Or what I felt was reasonable.

**Telephus44** · 11-18-2010, 04:16 PM

I personally don't mind (and even enjoy!) Santa as long as it's not too big. I think younger kids are more excited by the magic, and then they hit a plateau where it's all about the gifts - then it fades away. I'd like to nuture the "magic" part as long as possible.

I think some of it is in how it's presented. Some parents make Christmas (and the gifts) a really big deal - kids know that. If you're constantly asking them "What do you want for Christmas?" then of course that's what they are going to focus on. Even by dropping hints about "Santa's on a budget," you're still making it all about the presents. Of course, the klids are still going to get the "present" ramp up from school, other relatives, advertising, etc. But I think as a parent it's my job to make it magic, not a big deal.

I also seriously don't trust my son not to tell everyone else (at school, at the playground) that Santa isn't real. I don't tell him how much money I make, either.

I personally buy a small amount of presents (4-5) for him, this year I'm thinking I'll put Santa's name on the "biggest" one. Last year he really didn't get the concept.

**valerian** · 11-18-2010, 05:57 PM

I love the magic of Santa and at my house growing up and at our house now, if you stop believing in Santa, you stop getting presents from him. You get family presents only then. I pretended for a long time to believe when I didn't to still get those gifts from Santa. It's more fun that way I think. The way I explained to my kids that Santa doesn't bring everything they ask for or brings less some years than others is because I told them that Santa doesn't really do all that stuff for free. I told them that we have to pay Santa some money to offset costs. I also said that's why some kids didn't get anything or maybe very few things...that their parents didn't have enough money for Santa to make more stuff. Works for us here anyway. My oldest doesn't believe and hasn't for a long time, but goes alongwith it for his younger brothers. Actually I think my 9-year-old is the only one that believes.

**Wendy99** · 11-18-2010, 07:16 PM

My children still very much believe in Santa, but the part that really bothers me .. is that Santa cannot buy them much at all .. whereas Santa can buy their friends a ton - that is the hard part. My kids havent noticed it yet, but I sure do

same with the Easter Bunny - it's hard for those of that can't afford much.

**annymoll** · 11-18-2010, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by valerian

I love the magic of Santa and at my house growing up and at our house now, if you stop believing in Santa, you stop getting presents from him. You get family presents only then. I pretended for a long time to believe when I didn't to still get those gifts from Santa. It's more fun that way I think. The way I explained to my kids that Santa doesn't bring everything they ask for or brings less some years than others is because I told them that Santa doesn't really do all that stuff for free. I told them that we have to pay Santa some money to offset costs. I also said that's why some kids didn't get anything or maybe very few things...that their parents didn't have enough money for Santa to make more stuff. Works for us here anyway. My oldest doesn't believe and hasn't for a long time, but goes alongwith it for his younger brothers. Actually I think my 9-year-old is the only one that believes.

This is exactly how we explained it! We told them that Santa had to pay his help. We also told that we bought according to what we could afford. (it was never too early to explain finances to our children). It really tickles me to find a household that did it the same.

**Mrs. Piggy Bank** · 11-18-2010, 10:57 PM

We were just discussing the christmas guilt tonight. Our children are 13 & 9 and know santa is not real. The problem is our 13 y.o. daughter wants an ipod touch....the ONLY thing she wants. She has been begging for one for months.

We don't over indulge our children. They don't have tvs in their rooms, they don't have phones in their rooms, they don't have cell phones. But I considered this gadget b/c she has been obsessing over it for months.

$280 for a souped up walkman!!! WHAT?! I broke her heart tonight when I told her there was no way possible I was paying $300 for a radio. I can't even think of anything I have bought in the last 10 years that was $300. That's a car payment not a gadget to play with.

**valerian** · 11-19-2010, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Mrs. Piggy Bank

We were just discussing the christmas guilt tonight. Our children are 13 & 9 and know santa is not real. The problem is our 13 y.o. daughter wants an ipod touch....the ONLY thing she wants. She has been begging for one for months.

We don't over indulge our children. They don't have tvs in their rooms, they don't have phones in their rooms, they don't have cell phones. But I considered this gadget b/c she has been obsessing over it for months.

$280 for a souped up walkman!!! WHAT?! I broke her heart tonight when I told her there was no way possible I was paying $300 for a radio. I can't even think of anything I have bought in the last 10 years that was $300. That's a car payment not a gadget to play with.

Actually you can get them cheaper on Amazon.com if that helps...lol. They are fun to play with 'cause you can put lots of stuff on them. My oldest son had one that he bought from someone else for $70 and played with it a lot. He just sold it to someone else for $100...lol. I can't believe he actually got rid of it 'cause he liked it a lot. I wanted to buy middle ds one, but decided that they cost too much..hehe. There was a time that I wouldn't have hesitated, but not anymore...don't want a credit card bill.

**valerian** · 11-19-2010, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wendy99

My children still very much believe in Santa, but the part that really bothers me .. is that Santa cannot buy them much at all .. whereas Santa can buy their friends a ton - that is the hard part. My kids havent noticed it yet, but I sure do

same with the Easter Bunny - it's hard for those of that can't afford much.

Aw! I'm sorry! Don't feel bad...just explain it like I did...my kids seemed to accept that without a problem.

**imagine** · 11-20-2010, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by Mrs. Piggy Bank

We were just discussing the christmas guilt tonight. Our children are 13 & 9 and know santa is not real. The problem is our 13 y.o. daughter wants an ipod touch....the ONLY thing she wants. She has been begging for one for months.

We don't over indulge our children. They don't have tvs in their rooms, they don't have phones in their rooms, they don't have cell phones. But I considered this gadget b/c she has been obsessing over it for months.

$280 for a souped up walkman!!! WHAT?! I broke her heart tonight when I told her there was no way possible I was paying $300 for a radio. I can't even think of anything I have bought in the last 10 years that was $300. That's a car payment not a gadget to play with.

I pod touch is so much more than a just a radio (our is music, games, internet)

You can also get free app and stuff at I tunes for it. The children and Hubby are always down loading free games and such. They are always looking to see if their is a app of that. Most time they can find free ones on it

We also can get on the net on our ipod when wifi is available. like at the library and Mc Donald's. I can check frugal village on our ipod touch when wifi is available.

My friend who had teenage foster children and now has three teenagers of her own said that the itouch and ipods were the best money she spent present wise that is. She says she is the one to load things on it so she can screen what music is on it.

Refurbished ones are cheaper also.

**Sundae** · 11-24-2010, 08:05 AM

For us Santa could not make any type of electric toys, they were always the simple ones...puzzles, books, yoyo's, dolls etc. We would explain that we, as parents, would help Santa with the electric gadgets and so on and santas real present was always wrapped in different paper then what we used at home. our children learn that Christmas was a time to learn, live, love and share...that we were all Santa's in some form. We would buy a gift for another child too. This put santa in our hearts and theirs

**kasin4070** · 12-01-2010, 10:04 AM

my quick reply covers a few topics, I recall telling my younger sster (8 years younger) about santa to get her excited and loved the fairytale for her... I have brothers and sisters and recall how we all gradually saw the difference between santa and gifts... my parents did it low key, just like our finances then... now I stress about the over exposure my children have in places like childcare centre, school and public places and if I could avoid those places I would have preferred, today I cringed through the prep to 3 school performance... it was very much focussed on jesus and his birth and the "true" meaning of christmas, which is all well and good except for me as I am humanist... and would prefer not to lie to my children where I can avoid it... side step it...
santa will bring something to my children until they are a expressing a disinterest and then I will encourage them to put together a shoe box to gift to someone in need and they can pass on santa to another generation...
I am very challenged by the whole concept and the commercialism of this time of year.