The Santa Problem...

[mslolsalot]

OK Bah Humbug. I'll just get that off my chest now. I have never been a fan of the Santa lie, but as a parent there is no way around it. In my house, Santa has always brought 1 nice (relatively expensive) toy to each of the boys and the rest were from me.

This year the kids are 6 & 8 and while they understand that I try to manage money and have a budget- even for Christmas- they believe that Santa can bring anything! They went through the Toys r Us flyer the other day and marked down the things they want (all 60 of them). I am already done my shopping- except for the "Santa" toys and was feeling pretty good about a nice, well planned gift list which came in under budget. My boys (lord love them) have decided that since Santa can make anything, what they each want more than anything in the world is a PSP Invizimals pack ($199 each).

I got them each to write down some contingency gifts (the 8 year old had a list of 23 things that he pared down to 4) "just in case" Santa runs out of PSPs. UGH! It's not even that I can afford to by them each a PSP, it's that I don't think it's appropriate, and yet I have Santa guilt. When are they old enough to know that Santa isn't real? (Kidding- sort of!)

[Greebo]

I have never been a fan of the Santa lie, but as a parent there is no way around it.

Why?

If you don't like it - why fake reality for your kids? Just give em presents and tell them not to talk about Santa with their friends cause their friends will get upset. Let em know that Santa's just a story, not a real person.

[Mom2-3]

Yup. We didn't do the Santa thing, but since that's already out there for your kids....

Can you tell them that even Santa is on a budget and is cutting back? Or that PSP is for teens?

[imagine]

With 60 things on their list I'm sure Santa can find something that will wow them that is in your budget.

Here Santa doesn't ways bring what the kids told Santa they wanted.

One time my son commented on this. I thought he was going to express sadness or a disbelief in Santa. Instead what came out of his mouth was a since of ah and a statement that Santa knew him so well that he brought him something even better then he had asked for. (remember better doesn't mean more money)

[Ceashels]

I agree that since Santa has already been to your home... the boys can learn about the budget crunch in the North Pole's economy.

[porembam]

I agree that if Santa does exist that he will know exactly what they will love - even if it's not on the list.
The magic of being young on Christmas.

[Momto5RN]

my kids get to ask for 3 things from santa ( like jesus and the wise mens gifts ) and i also tell them mom has to OK it with santa ( for years my 9 yo has asked for slime and i have nixed it LOL)

if the kids are prone to circle a zillion things at first they would even if they knew there was no santa .

i didnt even celebrate christmas growing up and would go thru the sears christmas catalog and circle one item i liked best on each page of toys just for the fun of it imagining having that item etc.

they get more from me and dh .depending on what we can find during the year and also on where we are budget wise.

if they ask me why their friends got more- i tell them some may have come from family but they pretend it came from santa .

i also would tell them there are children in the world with no parents - no home no shoes etc and thats why we limit our gifts from santa to just 3 so those children can get extra gifts.

my 9 yo still semi believes .

i dont so much see it as a lie i guess it depends on how you go about it . i never told my kids santa would being them tons of presents and if they ask me if santa is real i dont say yes i say i dont know what do you think ?? any santa at the mall is not the real santa its a santa helper ( which in a way it is lol )

[Momto5RN]

i wouldnt be buying a an expensive videogame set up for a 6and 8 yo - my oldest now 22 didnt even have a set up ( which was i think nintendo 64 way back then ) until he was at least 12 . once it was in the house of course the younger boys knew more.

just say you dont want a videogame system in the house they are too young and you get a say over what santa brings -so take that off the list - dont feel guilty about nixing it - its your house- your kids etc i am sure once told no they will go past it and look for something else

and if i had no video game system in the house and was thinking of one for younger kids i would do a wii - more family oriented and more exercise non violent type games available and it can also be used for exercise and you can stream netflix thru it for 9$ a month etc .

[LuLuBleen]

If you don't like it - why fake reality for your kids? Just give em presents and tell them not to talk about Santa with their friends cause their friends will get upset. Let em know that Santa's just a story, not a real person.

YES! You could also add that discussing Santa is like discussing religion...very inappropriate.

Don't let society-at-large dictate to you what you teach your kids. Sometimes society is wrong. Listen to your gut.

[Libby]

I agree - maybe "Santa" could find a more appropriate item on the list? Or come up with something even more cool that wasn't on the list? If they're upset when Santa doesn't deliver on the 25th...maybe then is a good time to discuss how Santa works. He tries his best to get gifts to children and its usually what they wished for (ie want) but even Santa had to cut back (economy) or give a PSP to someone else who needed it more (ie hospitalized child or terminally ill child etc) and they should be elated that Santa still had time to think of them this year b/c he still dropped a gift.

I like the idea of 'Santa' but not the kids who think they deserve to get every single thing they list. It should be more of a 'you get what you get' type of deal and only 1 gift/child.

Tip for next year - don't let them go through a catalogue to make their list

[mslolsalot]

I appreciate all of the discussion. Thanks for the replies!

Just to touch on a few of the issues mentioned- Santa came to our house before I was a single parent. At that time I was pressured into it. I really disliked the idea of lying to the kids for the sake of fun. Makes no sense to me!

My kids are very socially aware. We do numerous charitable activities all year- but we tend to do even more at Christmas. A favourite is the Samaritan's Purse activity where they get to each pack a shoebox full of small toys and useful items to donate to a child for Christmas. They know that other people don't have as many blessings as we do, but the "Santa can make anything" concept is outside of that. As in- if it's free for Santa to make, they should be able to have it. I did mention to them that there are things that are not on their lists that they would really like and to be open to surprises.

They already each have a DS and we have a Wii. My oldest has been asking for a PSP for ages and I always explain what a bad idea it is to have 2 different game systems and have to buy games for both of them, etc. The issue this time is this Invizimals game- they're all hyped up about it and it's only on the PSP.

One other aspect to this issue is that their father's family (grandparents) are bonkers at Christmas. It's a no holds barred, spending frenzy over there. They may very well get these PSPs from the other side of the family and I don't love that either. It sends the wrong message about Christmas.

I have no concerns about them having fits at Christmas or any of that. They appreciate what they get and what they have. I just struggle with this Santa issue every Christmas. I am seriously considering telling them that because they have 2 Christmases, Santa has decided that he should only bring them a gift at one house or the other. This year they have Christmas morning with their dad at their Grandparents' house, so Santa can visit there. That leaves me free to defer until next year!

[Libby]

I like the idea of Santa only visiting them once regardless of who's roof they're under.

[Nishu]

Just get them a smaller gift, they'll get over it.

This doesn't really sound like an issue about Santa. If they already have DS's and a wii and relatives that overdo Christmas, then they're just following the precedent that has been set. If they knew it was you buying the presents, they'd be begging you to get the psp and that would even be worse because they've got a better chance of you giving in than Santa.

And don't tell them that Santa isn't real. It's not going to kill them to get another nice toy that's not a PSP. Waiting until just before Christmas to tell your kids that Santa isn't real just because you dont' want to buy them a PSP would be pretty lame, especially after you've been going along with it for years.

[annymoll]

In our home, if you don't believe in Santa, you don't get the Santa gifts.I believe in Santa Baby. We always told our children to make any size list they wanted, but that Santa went on a budget and that he would be the final say on what he felt they most wanted or needed.How long did they know Santa was not real, but kept their mouths shut? Some time I would say. I have smart kids. It worked for us.

[CrazyCat]

Yes...same here. Both my boys always made lists...but that doesn't mean Santa brings everything on the list~

I love the 'magic' of santa...and (in my house)~I wanted the kids to 'believe' in something magical as long as they could.
there's a fine line between imagination and what you consider 'lying'.~Every parent has the right to decide how they want to celebrate the holidays.

When my boys 'finally' found out there was no santa..or easter bunny, they were more disappointed that there would be no more 'santa' gifts.

PLUS~if I were so inclined...and that's a big IF....I would get one PSP to 'share'.~