Confessions of a gift lover

**imagine** · 10-11-2011, 12:40 PM

Yes I would be heart broken if you decided not to give me a gift. If you explained why I would understand but still be heart broken. And yes, I would be heart broken if you ask me not to give a gift to you.

Yes there are those of us out here.

I love gifts. I love receiving them. I love giving them.

I can look around my house and tell you were almost everything came from. If it was a gift from who and when. If it was hand me downs then from who. If I bought it then from where and when (okay I can't tell which store every dvd came from or who gave us which glass of the crystal set at our wedding. Although I can tell you that Hubby got these from a co worker at the work gift exchange about 8 years ago and MIL bought these girly tearful movies for me from Christmas on year about 10 years ago. I can remember trinket presents from the students like the girl who happily gave me a 69 cent of bag of candy and said my dad loves this kind and thought you might like them or that chalk eraser that has my name of it a little pre school boy gave me so happy telling me it has "our name on it so it is yours"

I can remember present that I had to let go like the white candy dish a co worker who only worked with us that one year gave me from a second hand store for my wedding present. I remember how she wrapped it with a cloth ribbon so I could us the ribbon again for other things because we had talked one day about repurposing things.

Hubby and I do not exchange gifts because of tight cash. But I can tell you I still have the container of the first present he ever bought, me a container of orange tic tacs. I have a jar with 14 roses, 1 from when we were first dating and 12 for when we had dated a year, and a rose for Valentine's day the year Hubby was between jobs. He now gives other gifts like thinking to make breakfast or bring a cup of coffee or fix this or that or sit on the couch and listen to me or watch a how with me.

I can remember getting some presents from my SIL that I thought "What?" only to see them as very useful and thoughtful years later.
She was just in a different stage of life ( and her children where too) example A thanksgiving table runner and a votive candle center piece. A few years later when the children were no longer babies, I pulled it out and has become a Thanksgiving tradition.

Presents are also those fun surprises like a in style stocking hat that I wouldn't have thought to or allowed to buy myself but relish in the attention and compliments I receive from peers when I wear it.

Or the turkish delight a friend brought over because we had talked about what it was while reading a book that mentioned it.

Even that lotion I was allergic to that my other SIL gave me that I had to exchange. Ever time I see and use the washcloths I exchanged it for I think of her and the lotion she gave me and her thoughtfulness.

All of these warm my thought when I think of them and those who gave them even years after the fact.

You would think of all the thoughtfulness in my heart over even the smallest trinket gift I would be better I would be better at thank you notes but writing Thank you letters as never be my strong suit. Working on it but still not great at it.

So just remember there are those that love gifts and it is far above commercialism of the Christmas season. They speak to our heart. They connect us together. There are those of use who will be heart broken if you chose to skip giving a present to us. There are those of us that will be heart broken maybe even more so, if you ask us not to give you one.

There are those that have been heartbroken by the plans of others.

Please keep us gift lovers in your thoughts. Especially those of us who wait patiently to be remembered.

**khaski** · 10-11-2011, 04:25 PM

I'm with you entirely, but someone who skips giving you a gift out of financial issues is different than someone who skipped giving you a gift because they forgot- they are not one and the same.

**imagine** · 10-11-2011, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by khaski

I'm with you entirely, but someone who skips giving you a gift out of financial issues is different than someone who skipped giving you a gift because they forgot- they are not one and the same.

There is also the bunch that doesn't give because they do not want too. Three totally different breeds of not gift givers.

Still I am giving presents to many that do not reciprocate. Because money is tight I am making free gifts and some almost free gifts.

When my grand MIL was having a hard time financially (medical bills, and burying hubby) she sent us as a family a homemade pot scrubber that she makes. She made them for charity like she always does and these were leftover so she sent us one.
Her gift made me cry because she had taken the time to think about us and send us a gift. I also cried because we had just finished the last one she had made for us.

My SIL wants us to stop exchanging gifts for the children as now that the kids are mainly teens it is a money swap. I send her kids X dollars and she sends them the same but sometimes in gift cards. She sees this as silly. I see it as sweet and my children love being thought of my their aunt and uncle and cousins.

So I have a hard time with we can't afford it. Argument. Just me sorry. I would rather be thought of then anything.

**imagine** · 10-11-2011, 05:34 PM

Another wonderful gift we receive some years is a hand written letter from Hubby's aunt.

She writes such dear letters always has.

But the dearest letter from her was after she had her stroke and she wrote us a thank you note for a gift the kids had made her. Two short lines "thank you" and "Love you all much". You could just feel the love in those few hard won written lines.

**ncarr** · 10-11-2011, 07:03 PM

I'm ok with not getting presents but I would be devastated if I couldn't give them. I just love giving presents

It makes me happy <3

**ravenmaniac** · 10-11-2011, 08:41 PM

I love giving gifts, it makes me feel good inside. Sometimes a gift misses the "mark" and I may re-gifted it. If a person re-gifts my gift, it wouldn't hurt my feelings. I look at it like this, maybe the person whom received the re-gifted gift will appreciate it.

When I receive a gift I thank the person. I can tell you who gave me what in my house. I have re-gifted items that are not my taste. Re-gifting may not be acceptable to some and I can respect their opinion.

My sil loves to receive gifts but it is to the point of greediness. I think that has been a big influence on my thoughts of giving and receiving gifts. Maybe it is time I let that go?

**Momto5RN** · 10-15-2011, 08:29 PM

i love giving gifts i am a firm believer there is a creative art to gift giving in the adult world ( where its not a kid with a list of wants ) and i try my best to teach my kids the proper way to look at gift giving - not as a stress or oh no i have to do this but that its keeping how you feel about that person and how they make you feel in mind along with their likes and dislikes ( which can very easily be done on a budget if you dont look at gift giving as a horror film type of experience ).

that people appreciate what i gave them and realize why i gave them that gift is a gift to me

unfortunately society has turned gift giving into i have to give to you if you give to me situation that causes the negative energy around it .

the true definition of gift is :
GIFT Noun
1 something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
2.the act of giving.
3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned:

that said if someone cares about someone and truly enjoys having them as a part of their life they should want to gift to that person.
doesnt have to cost money at all- a letter of appreciation of the friendship in a pretty font - a $ store pair of slipper socks- a lunch at the givers home . a pix of the 2 of you in a frame from the thrift - a poem that makes you think of them in a thrift frame . so much can be done for very little money if the thought is put into it .

one way relationships dont work - no matter how busy one is how crazy ones life is if they dont let those in it know they are appreciated its not going to last and you often dont realize what you missed till its gone . Something that lets them know you appreciate them .

i have empathy for those that truly cannot afford to exchange gifts ad are barely meeting their basics and bills- but theres other ways to go about it and its not like the holiday season isnt the same time each year- so even though money may be a issue an hour of time for someone once a year is out there if one chooses to use it that way .

i dont have much empathy for those that lose friends and respect from family members when they decidee to not exchange gifts - yet are spending 1000 on their 2 kids and are eating out and going on vacations etc - thats not in financial straights thats a choice ,

**Jenibelle** · 10-23-2011, 05:07 PM

Oh I am totally the same type of person! Never mad at the person that I didn't get a gift from, but sad that I didn't get a gift. Its a weird feeling. It rang true at our wedding this past weekend.

I had registered for all sorts of new items for our home and was anticipating ALL the presents we would get to open. Well, people knew we had traveled 1500miles for our wedding and would have to transport gifts back so most gave us cash. And in a weird way I was sad.

There is just such a childhood joy in opening a present!

**BlissMommy** · 10-23-2011, 05:39 PM

You just said the words that so are me. I am one of those people, gift giving and gift recieving is my language of love and it doesn't have to be expensive. I take so much delight in finding gifts for the people that I love.

**Booklover** · 10-23-2011, 07:44 PM

imagine, you expressed your sentiments so beautifully! It was lovely to read.

**gottadance** · 10-30-2011, 11:50 PM

Yes! I love gift giving and receiving. I really believe it's the thought that counts. I have given gifts I've gotten from freecycle - they cost me nothing - but they were well matched for the recipient and appreciated. I felt great that I didn't go beyond my budget. All little things are appreciated when I receive them.