I squashed the spirit of over-consumption today!

**khaski** · 11-29-2011, 08:55 PM

I have 2 little ones- with one in K 2.5 hrs a day, and one is preschool 3 hrs, two days a week, I use one morning to run errands child free- and one to do, well, whatever. I decided to begin my xmas wrapping today, I can get the kids' things done this way with no worries of little ones finding out.

I decided to do my 3 yos gifts this morning (and yes, I'm one of those 'early/year round' shopper types). I thought we were all set, then got a little panicky looking at her pile of gifts....14 gifts, not counting stocking stuffers or 3 gifts for both kids, jointly. Between sales, yard sales and our town's free shop I spent under $100.

So there I was, feeling all 'less than' and neglectful and like a generally bad parent that I might give my child 'only' 14 gifts, none of them big or over $25 ,+3 joint gifts -then I realized- she's 3!!!! She doesn't care what I spent or didn't or how many gifts there are exactly! I got both the LaLaloopsy doll and t-cup piggies she's been asking for, she'll be thrilled. She'll even be happy with pink snowman flannel sheets I'm sneaking in as a 'gift'. Part of my panick is feeling guilty I spent less than $100 on Xmasfor my child, when we could afford more....but why do I care, when she won't?! As long as I make sure her brother doesn't have signficantly more gifts (next week's project, I think I'm fine on that one), we should be all set.

Besides, if I 'over do' it now, won't it make xmas 10 years down the line harder? Panick switched to serenity when I realized, YES, it's plenty, she'll be happy, and no one is making me think it's not 'enough' but myself! Wishing a moderate, affordable season to all!

**Debbie-cat** · 11-29-2011, 10:43 PM

Good for you!!

**oheoh's momma** · 11-29-2011, 11:19 PM

way to go . Merry Christmas to u.

**rosey7415** · 11-30-2011, 01:59 AM

that is great. i think we all have to deal with that..... too little, too much thinking. i was always worried that someone would think that someone else got more than they did from me. so waaaaaaaay back in time i decided to set a dollar amount for everyone in my head. i wanted to be fair to all. either they got one big item for that amount or many small items for that amount. it sort of got rid of the drive-me-nuts-type thinking. it worked for me. no complaints......lol

**Sophiasmama** · 11-30-2011, 10:00 AM

WTG Momma!!!!!

**krbshappy71** · 11-30-2011, 11:47 AM

I can totally relate to your feelings about "not enough." I have scored LOTS over the years with Freecycle for my daughters and yet because I didn't actually spend a dollar amount or second-guessed my items, I would feel it wasn't enough.

This year I am really struggling because I made pajama shorts, matching throw pillows BY HAND and that is ALL that I have for my daughters. I do plan to mail homemade cookies/treats to my oldest (in the Navy, an adult) but that is IT and I feel really insecure that that is all I am giving them.

My younger daughter (18 yrs) will be home, she will be watching her cousins open LOTS of gifts and I only have Pajama shorts and a pillow? What is WRONG WITH ME? I'm a horrible mother! NO I AM NOT. I spent hours on those!!

I do plan to take my daughter (18 yrs) out for hot chocolate-look at Christmas Lights time, will ask her to help me bake the goodies (she helped last year and it was really fun), basically spend time with her which I know is what really matters but its hard to fight those purchasing urges.

Thank you for your posting, I feel so much better to know that someone out there can feel the same way whether its 2 items, 14 items, 100 items, it is inside us how we choose to feel. It is inside us whether its "good enough" or not.

**gottadance** · 11-30-2011, 02:59 PM

I totally agree - you are setting a precedent for expectations. A three-year old doesn't need almost any gifts. They don't have a really strong concept of Christmas and gift giving, but they will as they get older. Important to not make them feel like they have so many gifts they can't remember what's from who, etc., and that Xmas is all about what you get.

My nieces are 7, 14 and 17 and are adopted via foster care. They had very minimal Xmases before being adopted. So we were thrilled to give them a lot of stuff at first, but then it started to seem out of hand. They were getting gifts from my sis, "santa," me, my grandmother, my mom, my bro and their bio grandpa - and each one of us was giving them multiple gifts! It was really crazy. So I'm cutting back this year. I also get a lot of stuff for them from GoodWill or Freecycle, and because I'm saving so much $ I give them a lot. But even that I'm realizing is a little excessive with all the people giving them gifts. Back to the meaning of Xmas, I say!

**frugalwarrior2** · 11-30-2011, 03:49 PM

My MIL used to overload the kids w/ gifts to the point where they started acting up. they got tired started throwing things. They didn't want to keep opening things and couldn't understand
why everyone wouldn't let them play w/ things. I had to force her to let them take a break. Ho Ho HO! I seriously feel a child that age like 3 things-1 for each hand and 1 to look at.

**bookwormpeg** · 12-03-2011, 09:56 PM

We get so wrapped up in the material side of the holiday, we miss the real meaning....your daughter will always remember spending time with you and that is what important...not how many material gifts she gets...enjoy, relax, and have a blessed holiday!

**Momto5RN** · 12-04-2011, 06:46 PM

i remember the days when my kids would have a ton of nice stuff for under 25$ because i did clearance and coupons and GC etc

i never felt like i wasnt doing enough .

now that they are older things cost more but i can still do alot for a little but not for 25$ anymore LOL