Over Gifting

**jamespmccartney** · 12-29-2011, 10:29 AM

My wife shop for her siblings xmas gift to others (that is, the xmas gifts that her siblings will give to their friends), in addition to her shopping for xmas gifts (& cash) that we actually give them on Xmas. She shops, prepare and deliver gifts to all her other friends. This whole event consumes her whole time but it seems to give her an artificial "high". I told her this concept is not normal. Can anyone comment on this?

**gottadance** · 12-29-2011, 01:46 PM

OK - I selected normal. But it depends on why she does the shopping for her siblings. Is she doing it because she absolutely loves to shop and they don't? Or is she doing it because they pressure her or lay on the guilt or because they complain/are lazy?

If she likes it and gets a high (as long as they pay her back for the gifts she purchases that they are giving others), what's the harm? I really enjoy shopping for Xmas gifts for family, throughout the year. That being said, unless someone gave me a list and a very good reason, I wouldn't want to shop for siblings' gifts to give their friends - that takes the whole Christmas giving spirit away. The person giving the gift should select it, IMO. But, if siblings are giving her a list of gifts they want for friends and your wife loves to shop...what the heck!

**frugalwarrior2** · 12-29-2011, 02:14 PM

I hope they are at least paying for those gifts. Is she over stepping or are they asking?

**stinkbug** · 12-29-2011, 03:14 PM

I'm trying to figure out why someone would join a frugal board and this would be their first post to complete strangers???

**mndtrp** · 12-29-2011, 04:55 PM

I find shopping with other people's money to be quite awesome. It just doesn't ever seem happen.

**Contrary Housewife** · 12-29-2011, 06:17 PM

I think that if she enjoys it and it is not making her stressed out, AND the siblings are paying for the items she buys for them then there isn't a problem.

If your wife enjoys the shopping and likes giving gifts and you have the means to pay for the items you/she gives to your friends, then there should be no problems there either.

Have you asked your wife why she does this?

Why does it bother you?

**Momto5RN** · 12-29-2011, 09:48 PM

if its their money and she loves to shop she is basically being their personal shopper - . if she was using your family money to pay for it - yeah that i would have an issue with .