What I Learned this Christmas... (long, sorry)

[woodogmom]

... I need new friends!

I posted briefly about this in another thread on "the spirit of giving." This year I sent 3 people whom I thought were friends small gifts. Two got a book that I thought they'd like. I'd read the book and LOVED it, so I bought them each a new copy from Amazon. The third got a facebook gift card since she LOVES SIMS and couldn't possibly have as much stuff in her SIMS house as she has if she isn't buying some of it with real money as opposed to just the money you get for playing the game.

I mailed each gift along with a brief note explaining why I'd chosen that gift for them, and a Christmas card shortly before Thanksgiving, to make sure they'd arrive in plenty of time for Christmas. Well a week went by and I didn't hear anything from any of them. Another week, then another. Almost Christmas and nobody had called to say, "I got your gift, thanks." Or anything.

Fast forward to Christmas, one of the three sends me a facebook email, "Merry Christmas, thanks for the giftcard." So at least I finally heard from one, the gifts DID arrive. But the books were in bigger packages, mailed from a school mailroom rather than at a post office, maybe they did not arrive. I emailed one of the book recipients to ask if she'd received it, her response: "I got the book, but you know I prefer romance, and I haven't had time to read a book in years. Should I send it back to you?" I was so incredibly shocked at the rudeness of that, I still haven't responded yet for fear of telling her exactly where she can cram that book.Why bother telling me that? She could have donated it to a library or given it away, yet she felt the need to tell me that?!?

Still haven't heard a peep from the other recipient, and at this point I just don't care. I think all adults should know that when you receive a gift, whether you want it or not, like it or not, or think the recipient should have chosen wiser or not, you acknowledge the gift giver for thinking of you, and you say thank you. Nobody should have to ASK if their gift was received!

So now, I'm thinking back through the last couple of years how these three have behaved towards me, and realizing this is the FINAL in a string of offenses. One I've known since we were 14, the other two I met in college. We've changed, grown apart, and no better time to acknowledge that and move on than now. So I enter 2012 with no friends....I guess I know what one of my resolutions will be.

What about you? What did this Christmas season teach you?

[greekislandgirl]

Good grief. That is totally unacceptable behavior. I wouldn't put up with that from a 12 yr old, much less an adult.

Because I live in Greece and my friends live in the US, sometimes there is a bit of the whole "did you ever get ...?" and a long lag-time so there's no offense on either side around that. But I'm always so delighted yo receive anything that I am an effusive thanker. I send a note of thanks (usually email, really the mail lag-time is insane, I just got something today that was mailed Dec. 7) to let them know that YES I got it and YES I loved it (I always love gifts - even if it isn't something I'd have chosen for myself, how can you not love something that someone who cares about you sent to you? Every time I look at any gift I always think of the giver.)

Your "friends" sound spoiled and perhaps suffer from entitlement disease.

What I learned this Christmas was that people don't eat very much. I made WAY too much food for the Christmas party. It was Dec 17 and we're STILL eating the leftovers. People showed up, talked, had a great time, and sort of nibbled. But they were not weighing down their plates as I had imagined. Next year, FAR fewer dishes and MUCH less quantity. In fact, maybe next year I'll just make a few pizzas or something.

[AmyBoz]

I think you are 100% right. You need new friends. How rude.

What I learned this Christmas was that I don't have to go nuts with the gifts in order to have a good Christmas. Each child got 2 "big" gifts (eg: DD got Just Dance 3 for the Wii and a DS game she wanted, DS7 got walkie-talkies and a truck and DS5 got the batcave and Joker's Lair) from Santa and then a pair of jammies from us. In the past, we've bought them so much more, and I was concerned. Turns out, nothing to be concerned about. It was a great holiday!

[oheoh's momma]

Thank u Greekisland girl I made so much desserts and goodies that it was not eat next year ain't gonna do it... They ate every bite of the Chinese food licked the bowls and complained I did not make enough.... Sorry woodogmom that wasn't very nice I would have called to thank u I just don't do notes.. Hugs

[gottadance]

Egad - that is totally unacceptable. Very rude. Yes, onto 2012 and new friends for you!

Let's see, well, I already know this, but had a reminder to stick to my guns and trust my instinct. My bf isn't showing any signs of forward movement on whether he's open to having kids (I'm on an adoption waiting list and was when we met 15 mos ago) and I've talked about it ad nauseum- that it's decision time, that he needs to really think about this, that maybe we should talk to a counselor. Nothing. He just keeps saying he's confused, needs more time, etc. But I spent Xmas Eve and Xmas with him and his family, thinking maybe he'd give some show of forward movement. Nope. Tuesday I told him this was it, I'm done, unless he sets up a counseling apptmt pronto to show his willingness to discuss it, we're over. Voila - miraculously we have an apptmt for Saturday.

I also made way too many cookies and desserts - I'd do half that much next year.

I don't need to spend so much on my nieces. I gave them fewer gifts and was more frugal and they all seemed very happy with their gifts.

[frugalwarrior2]

That my family think "The magic of Christmas" is a real thing and if i want help I must assign tasks.lol

That flowers are easy to send to an older person and are appreciated.

That christmas become lackluster for me when its clean up the decorations time.

[Ramona]

woodogmom,

Time for two new friends ♥ One had the good manners to thank you and the other two do not deserve presents!

Manners, remember them?

[Lora88]

That I always make too much food and I need to really scale it back on the next holiday.

[Telephus44]

Things I learned this Christmas -

My inlaws will NEVER EVER learn advance planning. Otherwise they wouldn't invite us over for a turkey dinner Christmas Eve on 12/23 or tell us that they'll come by around noon Christmas Day and then call at 12:45 saying they decided to do something else when we have to be somewhere at 1pm. I go out of my way to be really flexible about spending time with them because they have wacky schedules, but it's really starting to get to me.

Presents can be used a weapon. On many different levels.

[stinkbug]

I learned I'm the only one who cares about Christmas....we still have not had Christmas with kid and grandkids because it hasn't been convenient for them. I took down the trees today and am D ONE. If they ever show up for gifts.....I'll be surprised. (they both live here) I drove 5 hours (one way) to my parents to pickup gifts my dad made for everyone....they are still sittin here

[savvy_sniper]

I am done calling or making arrangements to see my brothers, nieces, nephew, and great nieces. Until this year I always did all the calling and arranging visits.

This Thanksgiving I did nothing. One of three brothers called. This Christmas I did nothing. Two of three brothers called.

The brother that I haven't heard from has kids and grand kids. None of them says hi to me when I arrive or even says thank you after opening a gift. They have VERY poor manners thanks to my SIL. Guess what they all got this year for Christmas from me? You guessed it - nothing.

I am so done with my family! Thank goodness my inlaws love me and I love them, Hubby and I had a nice Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with them.

[OOwl]

I learned that the world won't stop if I don't celebrate Christmas on Christmas day itself (presents, stockings, dinner, etc.) with my family. This past Christmas morning I found myself at the hospital with an elderly family member that lives with us, praying that his life be spared one more time, to please, please, please not let him die on this day of all days. He lived. We celebrated Christmas last night with family, and the year of the different sort of Christmas is drawing to a close. For the first time in my life, I didn't celebrate Christmas ON the day, and what I thought was a major big deal, just wasn't. I won't soon forget that lesson. I've enjoyed reading all the other life lessons here. I pray to acquire the wisdom they impart.

[shoiji]

I do not HAVE to decorate my place for Christmas. Only ended up putting battery operated candles in the front windows. What I learned is that I really appreciated all the decorations in the stores and on peoples houses. Just did not feel as stressed about the holidays especially with not having my place all decorated and living it 24/7. Think I will just keep doing the holidays this way. Much less stressful. Except for the cat who let me tie a bow around her neck and dress her up in her snugglie. Not sure how stressful it was for her. lol

[Libby]

woodogmom - sorry that your friends have gone rude and spoiled brat on you

[ncarr]

"I got the book, but you know I prefer romance, and I haven't had time to read a book in years. Should I send it back to you?"

WTF?!?!?!? Who does that? I'm sorry your friends were so rude to you!

This Christmas (well Dec. 28th technically) I learned from my doctor that it will be at LEAST a year until we can try for a baby because of my lupus I am TRYING to learn to be ok with that and enjoy my life instead of feeling like I'm waiting around wasting it