kids back home for the holiday?

**Hardy1** · 01-02-2006, 09:25 AM

Hi - my DD (21) and DS (19) have been home for the holiday - both are students. DD was only here for a few days and was sick with a horrible stomach bug most of the time. DS goes back on Wed, although he has been seeing in New Yr with friends in London for the past couple of days.
I just wondered what anyone out there feels about having them 'home' for a while? For me, it meant a bad mood the week before because I knew that I would realise how much I miss them when i actually saw them again (does that make sense?). So I spoilt the run-up for myself really. I was excited but nervous. Anyway, I have found that I spent the holiday picking up after them, doing all the cooking, washing up etc. My DS looks after himself pretty well when he is away so why do I exhaust myself during what is my holiday too? I work fulltime as a college lecturer, working with students who don't always want to be there (!) and i study 2 courses. these things are my choice i know but i do look forward to holidays. Guess what? I go back to work tomorrow and feel tired and worn out. Plus I remember feeling the same last Christmas. Is it just me?
W
sorry for moan.

**slowtypinwoman** · 01-02-2006, 09:45 AM

So sorry you had a stressful holiday.

Although my Dd is in grade school, I have heard my friends who have collage age kids bemoan the same things.

I have no advice, just wanted to let you know others feel the same.

**Darlene** · 01-02-2006, 01:34 PM

I'm sorry, this really can be an emotional roller coaster, not easy all this change.
This is my first year and the only thing I'm really wishing for is to be able to walk around naked to the bathroom in the middle of the night, lol. It was hard for me to see them go off to school but I've grown into having just us at home and them doing their thing. Nicole is back at her apartment and Mark is here until the 25th. I layed some ground rules at the beginning of Christmas break for him about picking up after himself & he's been much better than he was at Thanksgiving break.

It's been really nice so far but he'll be happier when school starts and he has his friends around and always has something to do at any time of day practically.
Hope you aren't too sad and that next visit is more relaxing for you.

**fernykins** · 01-02-2006, 11:30 PM

My youngest son came home from school in Maryland. Its been pretty nice. I havn't had to do anything for him...... infact I was very sick yesterday. He came home and made sure I was ok and I had everything I needed. He even went to the store for me. I think he was afraid I was going to end up in the hospital again. But I'm feeling better. I will be very sad when he leaves. He's my baby.
Fern

**Hardy1** · 01-03-2006, 03:21 PM

Hi - thanks for your kind thoughts. It is hard, isn't it? My DS is 'my' baby (at 19 LOL) although i have to DSS, ages 11 and 14. He is finishing packing just now - I can hear him singing in his bedroom. he is excited about going back and seeing his girlfriend. I'm pleased for him and thankful that he is happy. No doubt I'll get used to a quiet house again....and yes, the thought of going to the loo naked in the night made me laugh!
Fern - I hope you are feeling better.
Good luck everyone!
W

**Hardy1** · 01-07-2006, 09:48 AM

Not going to start a new thread of this one....just mulling it over. DD's boyfriend going back to Australia in Feb. She talked to me over Christmas about poss going out there next summer for a while (prob a year or 2). Today she told me she has been busy sorting out her stuff (she's in Edinburgh, I'm based down in south England) and down-scaling so it is easier to go. She has been speaking to friends who have relations there etc and has contacts....wait for it....for her first Christmas there if she is home-sick. WAH!!!!! It is now all 'real'. I know it may fall through but I'm really hoping for her that it works and that she gets to travel and also stay with her sweetie. She is being sensible and sorting out her uni stuff - seeing her director of studies to see if she can finish this summer with a degree rather than do the extra year for an honours. Ok, deep breath and be a brave mum. I have always believed in nurturing them, helping them grow so that they can lead fully independent lives. It has worked in that both have gone off to uni back to Scotland (moved to England when they were 5 and 7) but....Waaaaaah

Thanks for listening
W

**Darlene** · 01-07-2006, 10:04 AM

Yep it hard to see them go do their thing away from us but it's the way it's supposed to be.They need to find what makes them whistle happily. (My son does that too when he's happy) Somehow we have to find our way through. It's a ways off and who knows what/where she'll want to go but she'll always have you wishing her the best. Big hug I know it's not easy.

**PrairieRose** · 01-07-2006, 10:40 AM

I agree with Darlene, it's very hard to watch them spread those wings and fly off after you've spent so much of your time and energy getting them ready to do just that. I have 3 grown and flown dk's and everytime they come home (I get exhausted and aggravated about feeling as if I'm running a hotel service) I'm sad to see each one of them leave. THEN when they take off somewhere else I still feel worried and a bit sad but also elated for them as well. It's a double edged sword. I'm finding it gets easier all the time. Naturally, we want them to live their own lives and to let us live ours' but...it's hard, still.

**Mom23boys** · 01-07-2006, 11:15 AM

**Hardy1** · 01-07-2006, 05:47 PM

Hi - thanks to you all. I have just 'popped' back in here before going off to bed (time difference!) and I know you are right. It was a bit of a waaaah moment. No doubt there will be more at different times cos that's what parenting is about sometimes. But I will ultimately be pleased for DD if (prob when) she goes.
W