Bit the bullet: friends and gifts

**Nantahala** · 12-10-2007, 06:30 PM

I bit the bullet.... *sigh* I emailed the two close friends I have in town, whom I was planning to give gifts to (and their families) but there's no way we can afford it right now. I emailed them a funny little message about giving up gifting and spending some time together instead. It was hard... I was embarrassed, but it's for the best.

I reworked the rest of our December budget and things are looking up now.

**baronmom** · 12-10-2007, 06:56 PM

Last year we just came out and told people that we were on a super tight budget, and just could not afford to buy for anyone other than our kids. Most people totally understood.

**Nantahala** · 12-10-2007, 07:03 PM

*nodding*

I keep telling myself that these people are my friends, they're not going to give two hoots about this at all. And so far my logical side has been 100% right.

**FrugalMomof3** · 12-10-2007, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Nantahala

*nodding*

I keep telling myself that these people are my friends, they're not going to give two hoots about this at all. And so far my logical side has been 100% right.

I couldnt agree more, last year for friends I made embroidered pillows from fabric I had at the house and my embroidery machine, they loved it and while I did cost me money at first (the stuff was purchased years ago) it didnt cut into my budget since it was paid for and they loved it.

BUT friends are friends no matter what you give OR dont give.

**ilovechocolate** · 12-11-2007, 05:28 PM

This year I will give homemade baked goods to friends. They all know my situation and would love me even if I gave them nothing, but I want to do SOMETHING for them since they have all been so wonderful to me this year. So---brownies, cookies, etc. to most of them.

For my best friend I will do a Meal a Month----each month I'll give them a whole homecooked meal from my kitchen to theirs. I've done it before and they love it.

**dianne9106** · 12-11-2007, 05:32 PM

I second the baked goods. It may sound corny, but give something of yourself. Have them over for coffee and sweets and a good laugh. Best Wishes!
Dianne

**mcphlips** · 12-11-2007, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by ilovechocolate

This year I will give homemade baked goods to friends. They all know my situation and would love me even if I gave them nothing, but I want to do SOMETHING for them since they have all been so wonderful to me this year. So---brownies, cookies, etc. to most of them.

For my best friend I will do a Meal a Month----each month I'll give them a whole homecooked meal from my kitchen to theirs. I've done it before and they love it.

I do something similar with my neighbors. I participate in a cookie exchange at work with about 15 other women. When I get my cookies back, I divide them up into smaller plates, add my chocolate pretzels and dipped apricots and give them to the neighbors. Now they look forward to their plate.

Next year, I am going to plan ahead and make some salsa for them when I have a million tomatoes.

**inneedofhope** · 12-23-2007, 11:12 PM

A close friend of mine was in a tight spot this year and I wanted to do for her kids without her feeling like she had to reciprocate. I asked her to help me get my house ready for guests. It was great because she was a big help! She did get us some small gifts, but nothing too expensive. I really needed her help more than anything, I think it was the best gift I've ever gotten!!

**kaykwilts** · 12-24-2007, 12:02 AM

Truth be told I bet they were relieved. Several years ago my best friend said she wanted to give it up and just give to her family. I wasn't angry in the least. I was relieved. I always stressed on what to give her and now I didn't have that stress anymore.

**bumplett** · 12-24-2007, 12:06 AM

this was the 2nd year that we had 'given up' gifts with one specific family friend (adults only, we still purchased for the kids) - THIS YEAR she purchased a gift for me ANYWAY! (even though we had an agreement)

I know, I know, it shouldn't make me feel horrid, but it does - grrr.....

**Libby** · 12-24-2007, 01:40 AM

Originally Posted by bumplett

this was the 2nd year that we had 'given up' gifts with one specific family friend (adults only, we still purchased for the kids) - THIS YEAR she purchased a gift for me ANYWAY! (even though we had an agreement)

I know, I know, it shouldn't make me feel horrid, but it does - grrr.....

Dont worry about it. Its not tit for tat! Maybe one year down the road she'll call upon you with the same request and you will be more financially stable and can surprise and spoil her in return.

**zakity** · 12-24-2007, 02:16 AM

My friends and I have an agreement not to get each other gifts. It is just easier. We are all on tight budgets and we all don't need more crap. Besides, it is one more person to shop for and present to wrap. If we do get each other anything, we pick up something small at the dollar store.