Making the switch to the DR plan. Accountability list

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by gg

Although I just emailed you both, I wanted my reasoning to be made public.

Think of it as the "emergency" emergency fund. Life is not equal or fair, nor is it a fairy tale. Even though it's 2008, there are, unfortunately, still some inequalities when it comes to women and money. This is a safeguard. It also gives her a stash of $ to spend on you when she feels like it with no questions asked.

The last bit - thee "stash" - is neat but we both have a "blow this cash" amount in our budget.

As for a safeguard - honestly, IMO it's a hell of a relationship red flag in my book when a couple feels they need safeguards to protect themselves from each other.

We never had joint accounts before because we were both mid 30's when we met. We weren't protecting ourselves from each other, we were just control freaks.

I mean, if we're talking safeguards, I shouldn't be preparing to put her name on the house if safeguards are necessary.

Sorry, GG, can't agree. We don't have trust issues. (Well, *I* think we don't - she may set me straight here with her next reply

)

**Ceashels** · 07-01-2008, 03:01 PM

Trust me dear, they're just mushrooms!

**Ceashels** · 07-01-2008, 03:06 PM

Actually, I don't feel it is neccessary for me to have a private stash of money in this relationship. There have been previous relationships when NOT having a private stash would have been a stupid mistake. But in this case we are both onboard, we both have good communication skills and we both respect each other.

As for having private money to blow, that has been included in the monthly budget and we will be adding our anniversary and Christmas into the equation very soon.

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Ceashels

Trust me dear, they're just mushrooms!

Oh, shitake!

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by gg

There are all kinds of things that can go wrong, not necessarily relationship issues. And it shouldn't portend a relationship problem, because it isn't a secret stash. It is merely looking out for your future financial security. You should prolly have one too Greebo.
Why not three accounts, his, hers, ours?

With joint ownership of all assets, a mutually agreed upon plan, and full knowledge on both parties of what goes where, why?

What would go wrong where either of us would need a separate account that wasn't based in a bad relationship?

**Ceashels** · 07-01-2008, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by gg

Why not three accounts, his, hers, ours?

We did this for the first 5 yrs of our marriage. He (the spender) had an account, I (the saver) had an account, and we had a household account that we used for mortgage, utilities, food, etc. After 5 yrs and even though he makes oodles more than me, I had more in savings than he did. I actually will now have more control in where our monies go since he is onboard and this gives us (the relationship) more financial stability and security.

Once we are debt free, we may return to the his, mine, ours as a place to keep our "money to blow" if we choose not to blow it. But that time is years from now. LOL. We have way too many other plans.

**Michelle** · 07-01-2008, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by gg

4/5 married couples today have both joint and separate accounts. Whatever works, go for it.

Really? I'm surprised that it's that high. Do you have a source for this statistic?

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by gg

I'm sure you have considered everything involved and have decided what works best for you. It's just a bit unusual to see a couple choose to have only joint accounts. 4/5 married couples today have both joint and separate accounts. Whatever works, go for it.

80% - that high?

Source please?

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 06:13 PM

Also - 50%+ of marriages end in divorce, and the # 1 cause is money problems. Hmm - I'm pretty sure I don't want to follow the pack here.

**Russ** · 07-01-2008, 06:34 PM

nothing but joint accts here.
This would be an interesting poll question for FV.

**Russ** · 07-01-2008, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by gg

Here is a quote from cnn money page:
According to Raddon Financial Group, an Illinois research firm, in 2001 just 38 percent of married couples had separate checking accounts. By 2004 that number had jumped to 49 percent.

Still no where near 80% though.

However I found another money site with a anon. survey

What site? It just seems a pretty large discrepancy in numbers. So, do we split the difference?

**Greebo** · 07-01-2008, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by gg

People are just not that honest with each other now are they?

Yes, its sad how many people should never have gotten married to the person they did. I was one of them, with DW #1.

I'm happy to say, with total confidence, that ceashels and I do not have that problem.

So anyway, its certainly up to every couple how they set up their finances - since we had split accounts for 5 years, we do understand the reasons. But this is how we do it now, and since this particular thread is about our progress in the DR plan, well - we're not planning to change.

**McD** · 07-01-2008, 10:07 PM

We have two joint savings, three joint checkings, and we each have our own savings account. However, b/c I do all the online banking, I still totally get to see all of Zac's money. MWAHAHAH!

**SheKat** · 07-02-2008, 12:34 AM

You two sound like my hubby and be with that natural bounce of each other. From the moment we moved in together we had only joint accounts and we still have that same account. I wish you all the best with your financial goals.

80% sounds enourmasly high to me too

**Drgnfly423** · 07-02-2008, 01:08 AM

I'm glad to see you two are "our of the closet" so-to-speak

.
I've been on vacation for a few days, it looks like I missed a lot!

I'm glad to see some fellow Dave followers! Following his plan really changed my outlook and my life, and my marriage, for the better of course! We paid off all of our non-mortagage debt, paid cash for one car, are on our way to saving for another, and I'm thisclose to "retiring" from full time work so I can be a stay at home mom when we start a family. I never imagined that we could be this "in control" of our financial future. Any way, I'm a bit of an advocate of his program, if you can't tell!! LOL
Good luck!