What is the hardest part of getting debt free?

**txsun** · 08-10-2008, 09:02 AM

When someone calls into Dave's show to scream they are debt free he usually asks what was the hardest part in getting there? Here are my top three picks.

1. My Husband's Income.
My husband makes good money when he works overtime. I think its our biggest hurtle because we feel we can be a bit lax in budgeting and not watch the frivolous spending as closely. We are committed to getting out of debt but I feel that if the budget was a bit tighter we'd be a little more intense about getting out of debt.

2. Child Support
I am not begrudging the financial obligation to support his kids, just stating that having to pay the amount we were paying was stifling our ability to really utilize his income to pay down debt. Fortunately this hurtle is temporarily alleviated.

3. Guilt
Prior to and during the beginning of our marriage he was giving his ex-wife a lot of extra money that he didn't have. Because of his guilt she was able to really take advantage of him and it was killing us financially. Also, it was almost a year before I convinced him to use some of my savings to pay off some debt because he felt guilty at the thought of me paying his debt.

I was wondering what everyone else's hurtles are.

Stefanie

**TheRootedNomad** · 08-10-2008, 09:07 AM

For us it was/is compromising on intensity and "needs". I wanted to move much more intensly and think of very few things as needs. Dh on the other hand thinks of lots of things as "needs". It was hard work to come to compromises we could both deal with.

**yankeegal** · 08-10-2008, 09:15 AM

I think ours was breaking that mentality that it is a way of life to have a car payment or loan payment. We could always pay them so we thought we were okay...
We also got/still get a lot of flack from family and friends for our frugal lifestyle while we are trying to become debt free. That has become much easier to deal with as we are closer to our financial goals.

**PrairieRose** · 08-10-2008, 09:28 AM

to the boards b.t.w.

For us it was being willing to practice delayed gratification. We had to put off doing and having some things that we wanted in order to pay down the debt. It was not an easy thing to do but I can tell you it was soooo worth the effort and sacrifice. Debt free is truly liberating.

**mateosbaby** · 08-11-2008, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by TheRootedNomad

For us it was/is compromising on intensity and "needs". I wanted to move much more intensly and think of very few things as needs. Dh on the other hand thinks of lots of things as "needs". It was hard work to come to compromises we could both deal with.

Ditto! We are getting closer, mostly because I have decided that I was TOO intense and he just plain couldn't live like that, but we are trying hard and doing much better. In fact, our last month's food budget I was way UNDER! We were able to an extra couple of things on vacation (where my relatives were mostly feeding us, as we were visiting them for the week) that we wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.

I must say, our other toughest thing is eating out. We love to eat out (and our kids do, too, unfortunately), but we have been cutting back just by committing to eating healthier (even the "healthy" meals aren't all that great for you at most restaurants). Yay, us!

**daughter of pearl** · 08-11-2008, 06:17 PM

Wow, for me it is retraining my brain to see needs as needs and wants as wants, and to recognize the abundance that exists in my life compared with most people in the world, ie. roof over my head, enough to eat, clean water and the ability to work and contribute...

**Mom23boys** · 08-11-2008, 06:49 PM

For us it is trying weigh our wants vs. our needs. DH thought things I wouldn't consider 'needs' as true needs. I considered them wants. It took us a while to get on the same page. I have to admit, there are still days when DH thinks we need 'it' when we don't.

**Cricketlegs** · 08-12-2008, 12:43 AM

The hardest for me is even though we HAVE the money to have HDTV and other things that are bills that get paid dh can't do without them.

They get paid, they aren't late, but are they really that important.

Now on the other hand, my dh asks for nothing really. Comfortable shoes, a nice belt, an occasional Nascar trip(he gets free tickets) or fishing tourney. He has his allowance so I shouldn't complain.

But $105 for satelite tv just boggles my mind! He does love his HDTV!

**dancar3** · 08-12-2008, 01:42 AM

For us it is having the kids see what we are doing so we can live like no one else later on (except others that do what DR teaches)! Since 2 of them are in high school, I really want to do a vacation or special things before they go off to college. Yes, we are being creative and they seem to be doing just fine, but I just don't like them going thru this too. Of course the upside is that they can learn what happens when you live beyond your means and you let money tell you where it goes instead of the other way around. I think we've compromised and will take a vacation after BS2 so we can still all celebrate together and help us continue on our quest to BS7.

**maryea** · 08-12-2008, 02:21 AM

For my dh it was (actually is) changing his idea that he has to have debt..like there is no other way to live ...for him...only for people with money.

For me, it is having the patience to get through the process....I want to put all our extra money on our debts but things keep coming up and taking it...like dental care, a family wedding etc. Stuff I want to do but I'm just SO anxious to pay more on our debts. We should be debt free by Nov next year if not sooner, but gosh, we've been working on this since 2005 ! We are not as gazelle as some but in a lot of ways we have restricted our spending a great deal.

**britbunny** · 08-12-2008, 03:55 AM

I would agree with other posts that the difficult thing for us was the delayed gratification. TBH this got harder the further we went on. When we first started it was easy to go without things as we simply did not have any spare cash. But as we paid off debts and got closer to the finish line it was more difficult to say "no" to things as there was a little wiggle room.

So, delayed gratification and maintaining intensity.

**Greebo** · 08-12-2008, 05:37 AM

Right now? The fact that we're so deeply in, and we're in a situation where we *have* to spend more money on the apartments for them to make money. I'm in a bit of a funk right now because during last nights budget meeting, we realized that we still have a major expense coming up with the apartments - two new furnaces. The stock money we were going to use to get Ceashel's car paid off is now being partially redirected to be sure we have cash to pay for the furnaces, because borrowing to pay for them is out of the question.

**Jodeeli** · 08-17-2008, 06:14 PM

The hardest thing has simply been breaking the habit of pulling out the credit card and buying something! We're relatively new to DR and fortunately weren't in a deep hole to start, but learning to live "cash only" has not been easy for me (and I was the one who was DR-gung-ho!) I keep wanting to justify credit purchases with "but I know we'll pay it off!" So I guess it's like others have said, delayed gratification.

**EmilyD** · 08-17-2008, 06:38 PM

Not enough money and something always interferring with payoff.

**missmanny** · 08-17-2008, 07:55 PM

For me it was realising where I spend all of my dollars.

I know how much a spent on groceries / rent/ utilities, where did all of the rest of it go?

Once I was able to track my spending for a few weeks, I had a pretty good idea of where my money was going and could change my ways.