Making real progress with my husband!

**mateosbaby** · 06-12-2009, 01:50 PM

Last night, we had the best discussion about our budget that we've ever had. We both made some compromises (especially me, since I like to "be in charge" of it), and even though we aren't attacking that debt as much as I'd like, we ARE saving up for a down payment for our next house as much as we can. One of the compromises we made was that he wants to take some time for a few "weekend" vacations throughout the summer/early fall. So we are saving up for those so we can do it without the credit card.

Yay! We also made a list of things we want to save up for and our goals for the next year/year-and-a-half. We put dollar amounts by the goals so we know when we have enough to get it. Things like the vacations, a new camera, a family portrait (we just had our 4th baby, btw, our first boy, so that's why we want this - our last family pic only has 2 kids in it!), Wii Fit, etc. But we're slowly putting the money away to get one thing at a time, with the most important thing at the top of the list. I think this will be just what we need to keep us BOTH focused, rather than just one of us.

I am so proud of how far we've come and how much we've both learned. We have a long way to go, of course, but we never go over our budget, although we do switch some amounts around in some categories yet. At least no more overdrafts! We are getting better at budgeting the "right" amount rather than the "ideal" amount, so that is helping. We've been doing this for a little over a year now, and I'm really happy with where we're at right now.

**Cricketlegs** · 06-12-2009, 03:18 PM

I am glad to see things are getting better. Keep it up!

**fixer** · 06-12-2009, 03:39 PM

It is about baby steps becoming giant leaps. Way to go and good luck in the future.

**strezzed** · 06-12-2009, 04:03 PM

Sara, it sounds like you've both come a long way. Congrats on the great progress to date and on getting and keeping the lines of communication open!

**kmonokwe** · 06-12-2009, 04:06 PM

Congratulations! Doesn't it feel great to be working toward the same goals together?? Great job!!

**kita** · 06-15-2009, 01:21 PM

Yeah, also look in the newpaper ads during the holidays for bargains onthe family portrait. Basic ones can be done very cheaply.

**Siebrie** · 06-16-2009, 04:55 AM

Good for you!

Last week, when my dh was talking about how much he would like to buy some electronic item, I lashed out and told him that at the moment, if I were to loose my job, we could only afford one month's rent and we'd be out on the street, and that that last month's rent was actually his education fund, so that he would not be able to do his IT training which he's been eager to start. I think the message 'we need to spend less and save more' finally sunk in......

(apologies for the hijack!)

**Monner 1** · 06-16-2009, 07:39 AM

That is wonderful news. It always works better when both of you work on saving and reducing spending. Keep up the good work and let us know how things are progressing.

Monner

**Greebo** · 06-16-2009, 09:18 AM

Good news! Keep up the good work!

**a.nonymous** · 06-29-2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by mateosbaby

...and even though we aren't attacking that debt as much as I'd like, we ARE saving up for a down payment for our next house as much as we can.

Apologies if this question is out of line, and I do not intend to rain on your parade, but what is your reasoning behind saving up for a down payment on a home before getting rid of your debt?
I'm fairly sure, DR wouldn't approve. And for me personally, it doesn't make much sense (without knowing your circumstances) to load up significant more debt - mortgage is yet another debt after all - before starting to attack the existing debt...

Having said all that, congratulations on getting your significant other lined up for the deeds lying ahead. We wouldn't get anywhere fast enough without support from our better halves!

**nodmicks** · 06-29-2009, 10:39 AM

Way to go Sara on getting you and dh closer to the same page! That is big news!

**mateosbaby** · 06-29-2009, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by a.nonymous

Apologies if this question is out of line, and I do not intend to rain on your parade, but what is your reasoning behind saving up for a down payment on a home before getting rid of your debt?
I'm fairly sure, DR wouldn't approve. And for me personally, it doesn't make much sense (without knowing your circumstances) to load up significant more debt - mortgage is yet another debt after all - before starting to attack the existing debt...

Having said all that, congratulations on getting your significant other lined up for the deeds lying ahead. We wouldn't get anywhere fast enough without support from our better halves!

I've actually addressed this a few times in previous posts, but here it is again.

We have 4 kids, and only one "normal" sized bedroom (as in high ceilings for a bunk bed, big enough for a queen-size bed, although just barely). It's technically a 3-bedroom, but the 2 bedrooms upstairs are tiny and have slanted/low ceilings (it's a finished attic). You literally can't do much with them, besides have a baby's crib in one and an office in the other. Our "master" bedroom is now the open space upstairs with the 2 small rooms off of it. We have no door. We have no bed (we have 2 twin mattresses next to each other on the floor). We have absolutely no space to expand outwards on the house, only up, but if we go up, we have to redo the footings on the house. We have no basement, either.

Basically, the house was great when we had 1 1/2 kids, but now that there are 4, and the oldest is school-age now (the youngest is a newborn, and I'm sure you can imagine how much "stuff" you need with a newborn), we need a bigger place. It's not a matter of want, it's a need. We just don't have anywhere to go in this one.

Yes, logically and mathematically, we'd love to stay here and pay off the debt first. But physically and emotionally, it's just plain not possible. Sure, we could stay here and be absolutely miserable and at each other's throats for a couple more years, but is it really worth that? We don't think so. We've decided that if we do have to stay here, then we'll be forced to make the house "bigger" somehow, relatively quickly, so we may as well save up for the down payment rather than fixing this one for almost as much money.

I do appreciate you reminding us all what DR's plan is all about.