coming onto the meaning of things slowly

**ladykemma2** · 07-19-2009, 10:13 AM

this has been a month of awareness.

I'm coming onto the meaning of what dave teaches very slowly. it's been about two years since learning his ways. It kind of all came together when i saw the dave ramsey TMMO dallas show on cable and then i saw the movie Maxed out on cable. While i thought the movie was a little short on personal responsibility, it was interesting to see how credit card companies are out to get you in a trap.

i'm just now gathering courage and sense to destroy the credit card but it isn't happening until well into baby step 3. It took six months to quietly stop all automatic payments to the credit card. i stand ready to cancel it, but for some reason i am keeping it for travel (travel that never happens!). I have been getting ready to get ready. it's still locked in the safe.

I keep the big money in the bank down the road. I asked myself, honestly now, what true EMERGENCY in the past 20 years, what, exactly, has had me on the side of the road or in the hospital emergency room or whatever? how much did I need? about 500 each time. so i am breaking that weird thinking/security blanket by keeping some sacrosanct ben franklins in my purse. no need for carrying a credit card.

i cannot be trusted with a credit card in a mall or around jewelry.

i have slowly come to the conclusion that "I am never borrowing money again" and now get it what Dave and mary hunt and jerrold mundis and my church mean when they say this. I always had a case of the BUTS before now. "But, dave...."(whine)

here is my current "but, dave..."(whine) i might need to borrow for a car if mine dies in the next year or two. Faith kicks in: it probably won't die for another 10 years and if it does I can buy a beater. then selfishness sets in: Grumble... don't want to buy a beater. Faith kicks in: Heavenly Father will provide all my needs. Selfishness responds with: I don't want to spend my emergency fund on a car.... Faith kicks back in and responds : watch the &^%$ dave ramsey video on car replacement again.

the sinking funds (freedom accounts) are building a cushion for the annual things that come up. i personally believe that the emergency fund, sinking funds, and a well stocked pantry of food basics are the key to this thing working.

Little recent Ah Ha's:
if i shop for groceries on the 1st and the 15th i still manage ok instead of shopping biweekly. need to buy and freeze extra milk and bread.

if i change the kitty litter every 10 days instead of every week, i can save a bag of litter per month.

Big recent ah Ha's:
keeping the ben franklins in my purse as my new "self insured' emergency device.

awareness to let friends drift away who are not supportive or who expect me to spend money uncontrollably

awareness that IT IS TIME spiritually and temporally to cut up and cancel credit cards. i no longer need them.

I learned that i must keep my mouth shut about finances. earth people don't want to hear this stuff. (be weird)

**never2late** · 07-19-2009, 10:23 AM

What a great post!

I'm still working the debt snowball myself, but every now and then I find myself straying away. I haven't used any of the credit cards, but sometimes I'm doing some mindless spending. I do a budget and sometimes I may have a little extra in my paycheck and rather than applying that right away to debt, I hang on to it like a cushion. Problem is, I end up spending it on something not really needed just cause it's there.

I watched the Maxed Out movie also at the beginning of my journey and it was a real eye opener.

You really do have to stay focused and keep going back to the basics. I find if I pull out my TMM book every few weeks and read parts of it, it fires me back up again.

Thanks for sharing!

**momsquared** · 07-19-2009, 10:43 AM

I think this really exemplifies the idea of baby steps you know? I certainly have those worrisome and emotional attachments to things unnecessarily. However, I now have a monthly plan, a 5 year plan and a retirement plan in my head that I want to meet. I don't expect miracles, but I do know with my hard work I can make good things happen.

**frugalfriend** · 07-19-2009, 10:45 AM

ladykemma ~ you're doing GREAT!

I have come to a lot of the same realizations you have in the past two years. I still have one credit card, but no temptation to use it whatsoever. We use a debit card when we travel, works the same. The debt free lifestyle is just that - freeing!

I would suggest keeping your BEF in the bank down the road, too. It would be easily accessible. What if you lost or someone stole your purse?

**ladykemma2** · 07-19-2009, 10:56 AM

thank you!

i am wondering if there is anything in the FPU course that would be helpful.

edited to add: in 46 years i have never lost my purse. i'm pretty good about this. I figure that the risk of money in the purse is a risk i am willing to take. doesn't scare me at all.

**mauimagic** · 07-19-2009, 04:06 PM

Mahalo for your posts - I am at the very beginning of this journey - have $300 in emergency fund. Need to be focused daily and have a plan. Am taking this on as a process, not a flash in the pan!!

**MaryCarney** · 07-19-2009, 05:21 PM

I really appreciate everyone's transparency with this issue. It's refreshing to hear all the truth and non-whiny attitudes. Good job guys. From someone who has busted it to get totally debt free (including the mortgage) let me tell you it's so totally worth it. Keep the Faith!!

**frugalfranny** · 07-19-2009, 06:54 PM

Sounds like u r making some good progress lk.......keep up the good work. You can/will get there!

**a.nonymous** · 07-20-2009, 06:18 AM

Thanks for the great post! I am going through a similar set of realisations.

I had exactly the same hang ups with regards to my credit cards. I could (and still can) hear DR using that obnoxious voice to proclaim "but it was my very first credit card!".
Isn't it weird how you can get so attached to a piece of plastic, and trick yourself into believing it offers security?

As a matter of fact, I still have my credit cards (it's a visa/mastercard duo coming off the same account) - and to make things even better, I still carry them around in my wallet.
But what has changed is my attitude towards them. I haven't paid anything with my credit cards since I started down the road. Actually, the last payment that I made with those cards was two days before I discovered Dave Ramsey.

The realisation that helped me most to overcome the "this is my plastic, this is my gun, this is for security, this is for fun" attitude, was that even if something happened where I desperately needed to borrow money, I could just as well take out a regular loan.

The final question is then, why do I still carry my cards with me? It's a mix of having a constant reminder of my journey, why I am on it, where I'm coming from, as well as demonstrating to myself that I do have the resolve to continue down my chosen path. Even with the credit cards sitting there, ever-ready for being swiped, I demonstrate to myself that I am in control of my cards and not vice-versa.

I will cut them up eventually and I can't wait for that day to come. It will be the day when I close that account with a 0 balance on it.

**Ceashels** · 07-20-2009, 09:02 AM

Thank you for an inspiring post. Those a-ha moments really do make impressions on us when we have them.

**tervsforme** · 07-20-2009, 10:02 AM

Thanks for the great post. For me, frugality is a journey of awareness as well. I am comfortable with the changes I am making and have made. I don't need 30 pair of shoes, I don't need 2 closets full of clothes, I don't want so much stuff. I do want to be able to leave my job in 8 years and open up my bed and breakfast. Getting my last credit card paid off will definitely help in that. I'm decluttering slowly but surely. I am going to list 5 things on e-bay each Sunday, until I have no more to list. Yes, I started last night. I will have plenty to donate as well.

For me this journey is cleansing...my soul is freer and my house is cleaner!