Feeling anxious

[mateosbaby]

So hubby is finding it hard to stay at his job and is looking feverishly for a new job. It's an ethics/moral issue, pretty major, and so we've agreed that he should stay as long as he can, but if he needs to, then OK, leave, even if we don't have another job lined up. Problem is, we only have that baby EF fund, and if he quits before or during January, I won't have been able to build up that fund very much more. So I'm feeling mighty anxious and stressed over our bills and keeping food on the table for us and our 4 kids (plus the pets, but if something has to give, something has to give, much as I'll hate doing it). How would you attempt to "plan" for this budget-wise? I think he would agree that every penny we get for Christmas this year will go into the EF fund, plus I've been selling some stuff on Craigslist to help cushion it, as well. What else can we do, and how can I plan for income that may or may not be there?

[frugalwarrior2]

Think like this.
My DH has lost his job. What can we cut immediately? Would you change the pet food? lower the car ins. Quit cable. Collect bottles,clean houses or offices at night. Do that. Build that cushion.

[Luckybustert]

Depending on what the ethical/moral issue is, I think it's best to think very long and very hard before choosing to become unemployed in current economic conditions. Are there any whistleblower protections in place that would allow him to address the issue and retain his job? Can he be held liable...can he be fined or jailed for the activity in question? Are there regulatory bodies that he can turn to for help? It sounds like he's in a very tough spot right now....I hope things work out well for you two. I agree with FW2's advice to start living AS IF he was already unemployed. That'll help you build a cushion right now and you'll be used to living on less if/when it becomes a necessity.

[NikoSan999]

Depending on the issue I'd have to vote to stay. There's four kids involved here.

There's not much out there and it isn't getting any better.

[mateosbaby]

Depending on what the ethical/moral issue is, I think it's best to think very long and very hard before choosing to become unemployed in current economic conditions. Are there any whistleblower protections in place that would allow him to address the issue and retain his job? Can he be held liable...can he be fined or jailed for the activity in question? Are there regulatory bodies that he can turn to for help? It sounds like he's in a very tough spot right now....I hope things work out well for you two. I agree with FW2's advice to start living AS IF he was already unemployed. That'll help you build a cushion right now and you'll be used to living on less if/when it becomes a necessity.

Unfortunately, it's a very small company (about 20 employees), and the person causing the trouble is the owner of the company, his direct boss. Could he be held liable? Well... The client signs a contract, but the company can't meet that obligation. So poor hubby has to try to work with the client by telling them they're working on it, yet he knows that the programmers probably aren't working on it and may not for a long time yet. We are surprised the company hasn't been sued yet, honestly. I'm not sure if he'd be held liable for that or not. He is very careful with his wording.

[Luckybustert]

Unfortunately, it's a very small company (about 20 employees), and the person causing the trouble is the owner of the company, his direct boss. Could he be held liable? Well... The client signs a contract, but the company can't meet that obligation. So poor hubby has to try to work with the client by telling them they're working on it, yet he knows that the programmers probably aren't working on it and may not for a long time yet. We are surprised the company hasn't been sued yet, honestly. I'm not sure if he'd be held liable for that or not. He is very careful with his wording.

I'm glad to hear that's all it is....I had much, much worse scenarios running through my head when you said it was a moral/ethical issue. I think it would be hard to be in the position your husband is in, having to lie to the customers and having to listen to their frustrations when deliverables aren't met. But is it really a big enough reason to voluntarily become unemployed? That's something you all have to decide for yourselves....it definitely wouldn't be reason enough for me, especially in the current economic climate. I would not leave a job right now without already having another in hand. If I wasn't able to find another job right now, I'd just suck it up for as long as necessary to find one. And right now that could be awhile.

For what it's worth, I've been in a similar situation before and I did eventually leave. It took me six months to find a new job then I was out of there. It felt like an eternity at the time, but in retrospect I think I did the right thing by finding a new job before I left. Look at it this way....if he leaves now, the only people it's really hurting is your family. It's not going to change anything at the company...it's won't change his boss....won't make them meet the customer's deadlines....sure, it'll make your husband feel better temporarily, but that good feeling will likely be offset by the stress of being unemployed and worrying about finances. Is this really the right thing for you and your family? Again, only you two can make that decision. Good luck, I hope things work out well for you.

[tervsforme]

I would have to agree with the others, while it may be difficult for him to stay right now, there will be many more people affected than just him if he quits his job without another one.

[savvy_sniper]

He needs to stay at his current job, look hard for another, and possibly try to find a part-time job to earn some extra cash to stash away. I also would start living as if he was unemployed - cut cable, phones, newspaper/magazine subscriptions, raise insurance deductibles, STOP spending on anything frivolous.

I don't know how old your kids are, but could they shovel snow, mow lawns, pet sit, baby sit, etc. to earn a little spending money? Same goes for you, could you babysit or do something to earn a little extra money?

I have been in your husband's position and hated it. But I stuck it out until I found another job. At that time, it was not even an option for me to quit my job.

That was a position I did not like to be in. It was the start of becoming debt free so I would not be held hostage by my job.

[mateosbaby]

We've thought long and hard about this, and he is holding on as long as he can. Yeah, we'd love for him to stay until he has a new job lined up. He's still there, still hanging in there, but we still don't know for how long. And he is looking for a new job all the time. The thing is, we are Christians, and to him, one of the worst sins is lying. He does not stand for it in himself, me, the kids, and he hates it when others do it. For him to have a job that pretty much requires to tell untruths but it's not quite a lie, is incredibly difficult on him. The stress is making him get headaches, feel depressed, and be moody around the kids and me. I know not having income would be bad, too, but sometimes the morality of issues are more important. If he does end up quitting without another job, he would for sure talk to his boss about his reasons. But he's already tried to tell him what is wrong at the company, but he doesn't listen. So we know for a fact that nothing would change if he told him and then stayed. Leaving really is the only option. We are praying fervently for him to get a new job asap before he feels the need to up and leave.

We'll be going through the budget right after Christmas (we get a Christmas payday - nice!), and we are going to cut whatever we can to keep saving as much as possible. I did manage to save a little more than $400 this month, so that makes me feel pretty good. We will keep saving as much as we possibly can up until he either quits or gets a new job. Thanks for the tips. I didn't even think to pretend he's already out of a job. Good idea!

[NikoSan999]

If he quits there won't be unemployment. Don't forget that.