Feeling Resentful Over Double Standard

**Natalia** · 08-23-2010, 04:05 PM

ansley- wow, I don't know how you did it. If it ever came down to taking food out of the kids' mouths it would be Game On. I have a friend who's dh spends like crazy and has several expensive habits (drinking, and smoking) and is on disability. He would leave her with not a drop of milk and take the last $10 for beer. Grr.

Everyone else, much thanks! I have re-read your posts and I appreciate the time you put into them. I am going to be okay with teh $100, also bump up mine to $80 or $100 as well (I found $40 a month miscalculation in his income when I calc'd and balanced the budget) and save the remainder I do not use.

I don't think I can tactfully tell him about not sending off the mini's. I think it would get him mad and that I have no idea what I'm talking about (he's right). I just have to say to myself, hey, if its in the $100 and NOT over, no problem. He does do some painting, and he takes great pains to make realistic buildings, and trees etc. He ordered molds online and a ton of other stuff and makes his own bricks to build the buildings. Then he paints them- they look terrific ..he's very good at it.. he wanted to sell some to make cash but honestly he spends so long on them, then to have to charge shipping. It would be exorbitant.

**NewLeaf** · 08-23-2010, 06:55 PM

It sounds like you came up with a good plan. If you can put aside $10 or $20 /month of your allowance you might save some money. Then when you get an extra $100 you can show dh and it might just "click" with him. You can show him that saving can be a good thing.

Also, It really wouldn't hurt for you to spend a little time learning about his hobby......that's what the internet is for.

**Libby** · 08-23-2010, 07:24 PM

I think its rather important to understand DH's hobby even if you don't like nor want anything to do with it. And once you've actually learned about it you can say you tried to understand it and can rightly schlep it off. When it comes time to spend $ you'll have your own realistic idea of how much things cost and understand DH's desire to spend more $ then allowed/month. This could be used as a budgeting tool for him and it also shows DH you do care about him and what he likes to do, in turn...he may return the favour.

**ansley** · 08-24-2010, 12:48 PM

Trust me; he didn't leave us that bad off. We ate, just not as much as we may have wanted.

I'm glad things are looking up for you. Sometimes we just need a sounding board to figure things out or sometimes we just need to let out a little steam.