Confessions of a shopaholic

**angela1435** · 07-18-2011, 03:23 AM

Well I guess I need to get this off my chest. I am seriously in debt. I have a big spending problem. If this is any indication, I got a credit card with a 6000 dollar limit and literally maxed it out within 2 weeks. Who does that?! So I am in hell of my own making. Right now, I paid my bills and by the time they all go through, I will be negative in my account. We still need groceries and gas. I have been starting to list some things on craigslist so I am hoping that something sells. I can't believe i have put my family in this position. I am ashamed. Right now all I want is to get my bank account current and have it stay that way. We have been going into the red before every paycheck for 2 months or more. We have been relying on the 500 dollars our bank allows us to be over and paying the high fee for that. We have 6 credit cards which all are maxed plus furniture that is financed and a personal loan. The only good thing I can thrown in is that we just paid our car off so we don't have a car payment. Whew. I guess that's it. Just needed to get that out. Hoping it will help me be accountable and stick with the plan.

**krbshappy71** · 07-18-2011, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by angela1435

Well I guess I need to get this off my chest. I am seriously in debt. I have a big spending problem. If this is any indication, I got a credit card with a 6000 dollar limit and literally maxed it out within 2 weeks. Who does that?! So I am in hell of my own making. Right now, I paid my bills and by the time they all go through, I will be negative in my account. We still need groceries and gas. I have been starting to list some things on craigslist so I am hoping that something sells. I can't believe i have put my family in this position. I am ashamed. Right now all I want is to get my bank account current and have it stay that way. We have been going into the red before every paycheck for 2 months or more. We have been relying on the 500 dollars our bank allows us to be over and paying the high fee for that. We have 6 credit cards which all are maxed plus furniture that is financed and a personal loan. The only good thing I can thrown in is that we just paid our car off so we don't have a car payment. Whew. I guess that's it. Just needed to get that out. Hoping it will help me be accountable and stick with the plan.

Who does that? Someone who needs help and shouldn't have access to credit cards to do it. Its not shameful if you have sought help for the problem (I think you posted in another posting that you are going to a doctor now?) and you do sound sincere in that you want things to stop. CUT UP THE CREDIT CARDS. PHYSICALLY CUT THEM INTO TINY PIECES. Do it. Close the accounts as you pay them off. Commit to a new life without credit, without this hell in your life.

For a quick fix, what about a pawn shop instead of Craig's List? Garage sale? I don't know if your neighborhood/area makes that feasible. Hugs!

**OOwl** · 07-18-2011, 08:32 AM

I have a very good friend with this problem. She recently confessed it to me because I did not know (I just thought she made more money that she really does and that acquiring things was her hobby). She is now seeing a good doctor that is helping her see the problem with new eyes and offering very good management tips for her (her doctor has suggested a weekly trip to Good Will or something like that and an under $5 limit on that trip, so just a token). I hope you get professional help for your problem. You are already really brave to admit the problem to thousands of readers here, so that is indicative of desiring help. I am the praying sort, so I'll say a prayer for your future success.

**Josephhgoins** · 07-18-2011, 08:52 AM

I hate you are having an issue with spending and I have been right there with you multiple times.

I have gotten through it 1 time and almost through it again. Here are some of the things that helped me that I will suggest to you.

First, get a copy of all of your credit card statements together. Call each one and tell them you are having issues paying and see if they have any programs that can help you. If they don't offer one internally ask if they can suggest a good credit card counseling company.

The Counseling Company will work with your creditors to reduce your interest rate, eliminate late fees and get you set up on a payment that you can afford. They will help you get rid of your debt in a positive adult manner. They don't talk down to you and they give you good advice to get rid of debt.

This last time I used a company called Novadebt and can recommend them. Not only did they help me get rid of my debt, but they also gave me suggestions to help me through the lean times. I was always delighted with some of the inexpensive ideas they had for meals, entertaining and just living without feeling like I was dirt poor. I have contacted them a few times to rework my payment plan as my circumstances changed and always dealt with a kind person.

Now, to explain how I have done this almost 2 times (last payment is next month). I cannot handle credit cards either. If I have them, I start thinking of all the things I can just go and pick up and not worry about saving for. Then I concentrate on it and tell myself that this is on such a good sale and I won't be able to get it at that price again ever. Or I think if I don't buy this or that now I probably will never have anything that nice. I have had cash in hand to buy something and still put it on my credit card. I never understood why I do this.

Long story short, is that I can't handle credit cards. I now have 3 that are almost maxed out again and I have shredded them. As soon as these 3 are paid off - which won’t be but a couple of months as they have a very low limit - I will no longer use credit cards.

For me they are just too much of a temptation. I can save and use my debit card and never have to pay for today what I used up a week, month or year ago.

Once you enter their program your Credit Score will take a big hit. I considered this a positive as it prevented me from getting credit for a year and a half or so after entering the program and helped me get used to not using them and living on a cash/debit card basis.

I honestly think that CC spending should be considered a disability.

**ladykemma2** · 07-18-2011, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by angela1435

Well I guess I need to get this off my chest. I am seriously in debt. I have a big spending problem. If this is any indication, I got a credit card with a 6000 dollar limit and literally maxed it out within 2 weeks. Who does that?! So I am in hell of my own making. Right now, I paid my bills and by the time they all go through, I will be negative in my account. We still need groceries and gas. I have been starting to list some things on craigslist so I am hoping that something sells. I can't believe i have put my family in this position. I am ashamed. Right now all I want is to get my bank account current and have it stay that way. We have been going into the red before every paycheck for 2 months or more. We have been relying on the 500 dollars our bank allows us to be over and paying the high fee for that. We have 6 credit cards which all are maxed plus furniture that is financed and a personal loan. The only good thing I can thrown in is that we just paid our car off so we don't have a car payment. Whew. I guess that's it. Just needed to get that out. Hoping it will help me be accountable and stick with the plan.

do you know about debtor's anonymous? it's free.
Debtors Anonymousspam! It is better fried than typed - Recovery from Compulsive Debt

i don't know why it is calling a free help group "spam" but the link works anyway.

**Spirit Deer** · 07-18-2011, 10:21 AM

Who does that? We did, and charged $7,000 practically the day we were approved. But it was a totally different situation because it was all part of a planned home reno, and it was paid off the day the bill came.

Kudos to you. You have pulled yourself out of denial and taken a HUGE step simply by admitting you have a problem. That means you're already heading for success.

I agree, you cannot be trusted with money at this point in time. Get rid of the cards. At the least, get them out of your control. Same with the checkbook or any other means of spending that would allow you to further your debt problems.

I can't address the issue of credit counseling, but it sounds like others have given you good advice. The only thing I can add is I've heard not all debt-advice services are reputable, so maybe just be careful who you deal with.

The habits you have aren't working. That means, no matter how much you may not want to, you have to change your habits. Bottom line, simple as that. Simple, but not easy.

Good luck. Stick to your resolve to do better and step by step, little by little, you'll free yourself.

**angela1435** · 07-18-2011, 11:54 AM

Umm....no I didn't post about going to the doctor. Lol. Might need to but no.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I know that I have a problem. The sad thing is that my husband and I did this together. I told him the same thing, that we can't be trusted with credit and that we need to cut them up. So that will be done today. Still thinking of things to sell. Calling cable this morning to turn that off.

Stayed up late last night reading Total Money Makeover. Definitely getting me motivated.

Anyway, might set up a blog or something so I can get my thoughts and ideas all together in one place. Hopefully one day I can look back on this and think about how far I have come. Thanks guys!

**Nishu** · 07-18-2011, 12:06 PM

Can you return anything you bought? And if you can't, can any of that stuff be sold on craigslist?

Good luck. No advice, but I'm cheering for you.

**frugalfoster** · 07-18-2011, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

Can you return anything you bought? And if you can't, can any of that stuff be sold on craigslist?

This was exactly my thought. Return the stuff you bought! Cut those cards up! If you can't get yourself to do that, do what one of my friends did, freeze them in a gallon ziplock bag filled with water... I loved that idea!

**krbshappy71** · 07-18-2011, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by angela1435

Umm....no I didn't post about going to the doctor. Lol. Might need to but no.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I know that I have a problem. The sad thing is that my husband and I did this together. I told him the same thing, that we can't be trusted with credit and that we need to cut them up. So that will be done today. Still thinking of things to sell. Calling cable this morning to turn that off.

Stayed up late last night reading Total Money Makeover. Definitely getting me motivated.

Anyway, might set up a blog or something so I can get my thoughts and ideas all together in one place. Hopefully one day I can look back on this and think about how far I have come. Thanks guys!

Whoops I am sorry I mixed you up with this person's thread which I am posting as it may help you feel better ...you are not alone in your spending situation. Marriage without money issues???

**angela1435** · 07-18-2011, 07:22 PM

I was trying to sell my husband on the idea of selling some that we bought. There are only two things that we could sell that we bought. We bought an iPad and an expensive camera. I told dh that we should either sell the iPad or sell one of the computers. I do want to have 2 things because my husband is navy and takes a computer when he goes out to sea. He is out half the year. The only way we can communicate is by email so I definitely want one at home. But there is no need for all 3. I think I will keep working on him about that. He won't sell the camera for sure. I want to go through the kids clothes and toys and sell some stuff they don't use or have grown out of. He is on board with cutting the credit cards so that's good. The one good thing about him being gone half the year is that when he is gone it is easier for me to not spend and to pay off debt. He just got put back on sea duty so for the next 4 years, half the year we will only have me and the kids to take care of money wise. Plus he gets extra pay when he is gone. Anyway, I'm rambling. But thanks for the ideas and support!

**Nishu** · 07-18-2011, 11:35 PM

Hey Angela, does his job require a security clearance? If it does, his money problems can mean his security gets yanked.

Even if the security clearance doesn't get yanked, it sounds bad enough that his command will get inolved. If you have a creditor that does business regularly with military members, they know they can just make a phone call to someone in his chain of command to light a fire under him. (That actually happened to us. When my second child was born I had severe PPD and neglected a lot of things, including our finances. When my husband came home from work and said that the people at Military Star called his command and he got 'counseled', it was a wake up call.)

I don't mean to frighten you, but I didn't see you mention this so I wanted to point it out. Your situation sounds pretty bad, and I don't think your husband realizes how close he is to getting some extra attention from his bosses.

Good luck, and please stick around. You'll get a lot of tough love and great advice.

**angela1435** · 07-19-2011, 01:58 AM

Yes he does require a clearance. I'm not too worried about this. All of our credit cards are current. We make the minimum every month. I do pay all the bills, it's just that we keep overdrawing and using the credit cards tombuy groceries and gas. It's not even that we don't have enough money to pay all the bills, its that we aremso bad with money that we don't budget and we spend spend spend.

Today I cut up all the credit cards except one. I know, I know. But I am so scared to not have that back up. We are totally broke right now. But my husband and I agreed that it will be cut up after he gets his next paycheck.

I know I'm not going at this with as much intensity as some, but I feel like I am making progress. Usually I would have put more money on the credit card. I did put gas on it because it was a need. But other than that I have been good. I am cleaning out the pantry and freezer instead of going grocery shopping. The sad thing is we have been eating better because I am not buying fast food. Sad how unhealthy we have been eating.

Thanks again everybody. You guys have been really helpful.

**Josephhgoins** · 07-19-2011, 08:51 AM

I think as long as you make actual progress you are good to go. Although it took just a short time to get in all this debt it will take a very long time to get out.

Something to think about....You have spent a bit of time living well beyond your means, you now have to spend a bit of time living well under your means in order to get out of debt.

**Nishu** · 07-19-2011, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by angela1435

Yes he does require a clearance. I'm not too worried about this. All of our credit cards are current. We make the minimum every month. I do pay all the bills, it's just that we keep overdrawing and using the credit cards tombuy groceries and gas. It's not even that we don't have enough money to pay all the bills, its that we aremso bad with money that we don't budget and we spend spend spend.

Your credit report shows that you have maxed out credit cards. It will also show that you have a recently opened card that's maxed out. Their security clearances get reviewed periodically. If it's up for renewal, it might come up.