Mixed emotions...

[Anastasis]

I was updating my debt snowball and I have mixed emotions. I was nice to be able to see a couple of balances at zero and it was motivating to see how much I'd paid off (considering I just went back to work in July!) but it's still so depressing to see how little I've paid off in relation to the whole debt. Any suggestions on how to not let that get to me? I know I'll be able to pay it all off eventually but it feels like such a huge weight.


(Plus my boyfriend and I are talking about marriage and I have mixed emotions about inviting him into my debt mess - ugh).

[MissSeetonFan]

Understand the mixed feelings. We're doing great with the "normal" debt - car, credit cards, etc. But our medical bills are still kind of scary. We are getting them paid down though. Just don't get caught in the trap of ignoring the ones that scare you the most.

Also, TALK to your bf about the debt issue. If he isn't on board with helping even if it is just as moral support, you need to know that ahead of time. Also, find out where he is with debt and what his thoughts are about things.

[Sumacaroni]

You're doing great, keep up the good work. There's only one way to tackle it - one baby step at a time - and it sounds like you're working the plan. With your bf, I think you just have to lay it all out on the table (maybe even literally) and have the discussions...even we already-married folks have a hard time with that. Money issues seem pretty scary. Hugs and good luck! You can do it. You'll never know how he feels unless you talk about it!

[ddmartin]

I agree about talking to the boyfriend - you may find that he has debt that you are unaware of.

As far as the mixed emotions, change isn't easy even when we want it. Current state the boyfriend, the debt are knowns but a lot of change is happening or about to happen around you - an almost new job, a boyfriend who may be becoming a spouse, and debt that is slowly being handled.

As far as handling change there is no one way - personally, I like to escape into a book, my sister becomes a cleaning fiend, and I have a friend who has admitted to looking into a mirror and telling herself herself that she can handle anything.

[mndtrp]

Celebrate milestones, whatever those milestones are to you. It may be every $1000 paid off, every $5000, choose something you hit occasionally, but still feels like an accomplishment. Find something that you enjoy, that falls into your budget, that you only do when you have reached those milestones.

[Anastasis]

Thanks everyone for the advice and support! I appreciate it! Nice to feel less alone in this process...

With your bf, I think you just have to lay it all out on the table (maybe even literally) and have the discussions...

He's headed out here in October for a weekend - I think I will take your advice, print up the student loan statements, and show him.

As far as handling change there is no one way - personally, I like to escape into a book, my sister becomes a cleaning fiend, and I have a friend who has admitted to looking into a mirror and telling herself herself that she can handle anything.

Heh - I thought I was the only one crazy enough to deal with stress by cleaning!

Just don't get caught in the trap of ignoring the ones that scare you the most.

That's a really good observation - I think I've been experiencing that a little bit because it's the CC debt that stays on my mind (even though it's not much) more than the student loan debt.

Celebrate milestones, whatever those milestones are to you. It may be every $1000 paid off, every $5000, choose something you hit occasionally, but still feels like an accomplishment. Find something that you enjoy, that falls into your budget, that you only do when you have reached those milestones.

I like this idea! I think I'll do that!

[Sumacaroni]

Good for you, Anastasis - all good advice here. You'll find a way to overcome by continuing to give it attention whether with your bf or by snowballing the debt. Chipping away one step at a time.