Wife Wants to Buy Car B4 Doing Debt Snowball (AND Pressure from In Laws to Buy)

[quilt938]

I plan on re-taking this course (dropped out when my mom got really sick and passed away but was loving the course prior to that) but it was just me doing it - single - all decisions were basically mine alone. One thing I remember the leaders telling us is that a budget has to be agreed on by BOTH parties involved - not one coming up with what's important and being the dictator. (now I happen to think the spending allowance and entertainmnet budgets are pretty darn generous esp in the snowball phase) but your wife hasn't had to live like that and it's a HUGE step for her - like suddenly being on a diet. she's probably at the phase where she realizes there might be a problem financially and will cut back some but not fully..if so then you as a couple are not after the same goals. she's ok with debt to get what she wants and you're not.

now as for me..I understand the desire for a vehicle. a simple but reliable vehicle of my own is important to me. also to my SAHM friend. others don't see it this way but both of us do. freedom to be out and about is basic to some of us and feeling 'stuck' brings up all kinds of bad feelings. most purchases are not out of need but out of want or another need other than what it appears - buying lots of clothes isn't because she needs something to wear but because it fills some kind of emotional need. some of us can't flip a switch and suddenly become frugal overnight. even with a car being a priority I think I could tough it out 4 months to be debt free then finance and pay off asap but something is gonna have to give on her end -either the 'fun money' or entertainment or something to pay for a car.

my friend I think would do better with a small reliable car but she insists on her jeep - status symbol I guess- though it's expensive to repair. she's talking about doing financial peace with her hubby(he suggested it I think) and I'm hping the fur doesnt' fly with them because she likes to spend - probably more than I do - and cigarettes..sigh...he already harps on those - plus he eats fast food on workdays. she sees things I blow $ on - it's always easy to find faults with anothe rperson's spending but harder for our own.

but some mad money and transportation are important to me - without either I'd feel trapped no matter how great the marriage.
eta: forgot to say - it's different if the person without the vehicle is the one not wanting it - say for instance if your wife thought the expense unnecessary and didn't want a vehicle and was ok with that decision - but in your case she doesn't agree with this.