Okay, I am reading More Than Enough. And, I think it is a good book, but i am having a hard time getting past the hope part. How do you renew your hope?
Writing down all of our debts, watching them shrink as we manage to put a little here and a little there...., working daily to keep expenses down and making a mental note of those little things, encouraging those around me and lots of prayer Cheryl
__________________
~48 yr. old sahw, livin' it up in our empty nest, smack dab in the middle of everywhere.~
*We're debt freeeeeeeee! (including the house)*
I think you renew your hope (at least this is what I've found) is by learning from past mistakes, not dwelling on the past and moving on.
Learning from past mistakes - you do this by not repeating them over and over again. You do this by setting goals, working daily to keep expenses down and by reading what you can to help you learn even more. It means cutting back and giving up things that we might be use to. There have been times when we've gone without purchasing any hobby supplies, gone without gift giving, etc. Although tough, it can be done.
Not dwelling on the past - once you've learnt from those mistakes, the past is the past. There isn't anything that can be done about it. I found you need to learn to live today. A great quote our oldest dd gave us is "yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
What's done is done!!!
Moving on - you then set some goals (short term, six month and then long term. We found making small goals to begin with helped us to see there was hope for the future. We found when we could pay off one debt, there was hope again. We found when we did the above (learning from our mistakes) and we had a few extra $$, there was hope again. I firmly believe there is always hope.
I forgot - lots and lots of prayer. I also found if we could find quotes on "hope", scripture verses on "hope" and spoke them out, it helped me to see there is always hope.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia
Hope is so important, and I'd have to say the same thing, learn from the past. Don't hang out there and beat yourself up, do what you can to move forward.
I also ditto keeping a journal, a spending and feelings diary as spending and feelings can be closely intertwined.
Learning to get the jollies out of savings (I like to look upon my successes of the past, sometimes digging out old threads of mine, like the one where I turned a sale on a double size sheet into 6 lovely pillowcases and counted up the dollars I saved) rather than trips outside the house to the mall or grocery store, where the savings get spent too darn quick for my liking.
I used to like going out just looking around, "shopping" for nothing in particular, seeing what's new yada yada. Found some "bargains" that way that later ended up in my giveaway pile and wondered where the money went.
I learnt that garage sales were bad like that for me, and that by menu planning, and doing a big shop per payday that I could save by staying out of the stores.
So for me, hope is built on success. Dwelling on the things I'm doing right, refining them. But first redefine success. Success is not wealth, success is turning a double flat sheet into 6 lovely new pillowcases. Success is finding a deal on flour or toilet paper and stocking up using money saved from menu planning and some work that way.
Paying attn to where I'm shooting myself in the foot, avoiding those traps-- things like telling myself "this once" or oh my what a bargain, can't pass that up. If it isn't on my grocery list, I shouldn't be buying it. If it isn't on my we need this list (ie shoes or undervests or socks) then I shouldnt' be buying that new wool jacket at the Tabi sale (one of my weaknesses)
and generally enjoying life along the way in whatever way I can. Finding my pleasures in non money related ways.
Understanding that this too shall pass, I shall get out of this bind, and find NEW ways to shoot myself in the foot.
There is an old saying that suggests there are three things necessary for happiness:
- Something to do
- Something to hope for
- Someone to love
Something to do. As well as being a wife and mother to your girls, have you thought about getting a part time job that could bring in some much needed cash to help you through this?
Something to hope for. If it were me, I'd be hoping for work to help me get back on my feet. I'd be hoping for better times ahead for my family. I'd be hoping to learn everything I could from the experience. What are your hopes?
Someone to love. You're lucky that you have several people to love and even luckier that people love you.
Connect with Facebook
More Than Enough
Linear Mode
