lately, wanting to debt

[ladykemma2]

lately, i have been feeling like i want to buy something i cannot afford. usually jewelry or housewares. I lack for nothing.

i recognize an unmet need for beauty in my psyche somewhere. In counseling I learned to acknowledge the inner kid (8-12 years old) who wants to cause problems, and identify how to to give her what she wants. She has been acting up since the divorce was final "how about me... what about me...?" )

I am a debtor's anonymous/jerrold mundis fan.

here are some affirmations I have been using to stop this behavior.

It is wrong to spend money i do not have.
I do not take something without paying for it.
I do not overspend my income.
I have sufficient for my needs.
the universe supplies everything i need in abundance.
heavenly father knows what i need and want
I ask heavenly father for what i need and want.
I create beauty in my life.
I can find a way to have the desires of my heart.

it's keeping it at bay one day at a time.

what affirmations or techniques do you use when you want to act out with money/overspending?

[Frugal Nurse]

I do the silliest thing.
I actually go to a store~ shop, toss things in my cart.
Look at it and say.. 'I don't really need this'
and leave the store (without the cart of course).

I get in my car... and say... "I just saved $200! I'm so good!"

Most of the times.... the need is out of boredom.

You want jewelry? organize your jewelry box and you'll soon realize that you didn't need it.

Of course... THAT's coming from someone who only wears a wedding and engagement ring.

Another thing I do when I am feeling deprived (as my mom would call me.. depraved), I would go to a fancy underwear store- like Fredericks or Vic Secrets. I'd buy a matching pair - it kind of makes me feel pretty, squelches that urge, and well.. hey! we ALL need underwear right?

Need vs. want.

[emily_hope]

I get those urges, also. It's hard to talk yourself out of it at times. Sounds like you are doing a good job of it though!

[tbs727]

I look at the bills I already have *sigh*

[perSue]

i'm really impressed with not just the confessions here but also the ability to keep yourself grounded in knowing what you can do to help yourself!

i dont have this problem, but was curious about the thread... and have actually learned something myself!

i have the problem of denying myself/the house things that aren't necessarily "needed", but would come in useful.

i guess i've got the opposite problem: i dont spend when it's ok to spend and when it's necessary.

[Jamauk]

lately, i have been feeling like i want to buy something i cannot afford. usually jewelry or housewares. I lack for nothing.

i recognize an unmet need for beauty in my psyche somewhere. In counseling I learned to acknowledge the inner kid (8-12 years old) who wants to cause problems, and identify how to to give her what she wants. She has been acting up since the divorce was final "how about me... what about me...?" )

I am a debtor's anonymous/jerrold mundis fan.

here are some affirmations I have been using to stop this behavior.

It is wrong to spend money i do not have.
I do not take something without paying for it.
I do not overspend my income.
I have sufficient for my needs.
the universe supplies everything i need in abundance.
heavenly father knows what i need and want
I ask heavenly father for what i need and want.
I create beauty in my life.
I can find a way to have the desires of my heart.

it's keeping it at bay one day at a time.

what affirmations or techniques do you use when you want to act out with money/overspending?

I'm a big fan of affirmations, and I'd like to make a suggestion - your first three affirmations are made in the "negative" - and affirmations always work better when written in the "positive". Could you reword your first three to say something like:

I only spend money when I have budgeted and accounted for the expense.

I only take things that I have paid for.

I spend within my income and by doing so I am eliminating my debt.

[ladykemma2]

i'm really impressed with not just the confessions here but also the ability to keep yourself grounded in knowing what you can do to help yourself!

i dont have this problem, but was curious about the thread... and have actually learned something myself!

i have the problem of denying myself/the house things that aren't necessarily "needed", but would come in useful.

i guess i've got the opposite problem: i dont spend when it's ok to spend and when it's necessary.

yes, there are "recovering debtors" and there are recovering "spending anorexics".

do you know what (or who) in you is causing this? have you ever looked at your spending anorexia and what's that about?

[ladykemma2]

I'm a big fan of affirmations, and I'd like to make a suggestion - your first three affirmations are made in the "negative" - and affirmations always work better when written in the "positive". Could you reword your first three to say something like:

I only spend money when I have budgeted and accounted for the expense.

I only take things that I have paid for.

I spend within my income and by doing so I am eliminating my debt.

thank you. i have retyped the amended affirmations and taped them to bathroom mirror. much obliged!

[Samigirl]

I do the silliest thing.
I actually go to a store~ shop, toss things in my cart.
Look at it and say.. 'I don't really need this'
and leave the store (without the cart of course).

I get in my car... and say... "I just saved $200! I'm so good!"

Most of the times.... the need is out of boredom.

You want jewelry? organize your jewelry box and you'll soon realize that you didn't need it.

Of course... THAT's coming from someone who only wears a wedding and engagement ring.

Another thing I do when I am feeling deprived (as my mom would call me.. depraved), I would go to a fancy underwear store- like Fredericks or Vic Secrets. I'd buy a matching pair - it kind of makes me feel pretty, squelches that urge, and well.. hey! we ALL need underwear right?

Need vs. want.

That's so funny about your shopping cart. I used to drive my husband crazy doing this. I'd fill up the cart with things we "needed". Then, instead of checking out...I'd chicken out...and end putting half the items back on the shelves.

[ladykemma2]

i left out something. I have been treating 8-10 year old ladykemma with tiny yankee candles, and such, but she really wants to put something expensive on layaway at helzberg. she still feels cheated after this horrible year of divorce.

the teenage part of me wants lipstick, makeup, clothes. She's easy to please.

the 21 year old me -- is the alcoholic. i am a recovering alcoholic. that was my rebellious late bloomer " twentysomething" "up yours" to the parents-- stoopid behavior to ruin my life.

sounds schizophrenic, but in counseling i learned that various age groups in one's life history, will do certain things to make the adult "you" do harmful things now. for me, it's about continuing to grow up. I'm 45 but doesn't feel like it sometimes.

some people drink, others do drugs, sex addiction, gambling, you name it. others act out in other ways.

when i was married to moneybags, i used to do a yearly layaway. as a teacher, each academic year i would reward myself with a nice piece of jewelry.

I'm having an A-Ha moment-- it would be about this time that i would make my final payment and pick up this year's piece. that is what is triggering this. (lightbulb goes off)

i miss this. it was the reward to myself for having to be so "adult" around these kids all year.

adultly, (not sadly), I can't afford this, at least not this year. and the adult in me needs to stay in charge.

thanks for this forum and the 12 step recovery programs.

[Jamauk]

That's a great realization!

Just as a teacher you need to stay in charge of your students - as the adult, you need to stay inside of your inner children, too. We all have them - you don't sound schizophrenic - some are just more vocal than others.

Right now my early 20's child wants out. She wants no responsiblity, no accountability, she just wants to run free. I realize this is because I've been having some stressful times at home, DH's schedule is getting to me and I really need a break from the kids.

Its just a matter of keeping the adult in charge. Good Luck and you will get through this!

[Frugal Nurse]

LadyK! you are soooo funny!! that was a great post!!

I think we all need to admit something here!!

[ladykemma2]

That's a great realization!

Just as a teacher you need to stay in charge of your students - as the adult, you need to stay inside of your inner children, too. We all have them - you don't sound schizophrenic - some are just more vocal than others.

Right now my early 20's child wants out. She wants no responsiblity, no accountability, she just wants to run free. I realize this is because I've been having some stressful times at home, DH's schedule is getting to me and I really need a break from the kids.

Its just a matter of keeping the adult in charge. Good Luck and you will get through this!

wow, that's a great realization! and add to that his job may be threatened by recession layoffs.

my 8-12 year old has very expensive taste!, always has...!

very nearly "tied on on" at helzberg. a debt "bender" . glad i didn't!
glad i talked it through.

thanks all.

[starsapphire]

I can see you have really absorbed the steps and the spiritual principles. You didn't debt relapse. Way to go!!!

One day at a time, right?