confession I have never made a budget

[itlw8]

terrible I know I have flown by the seat of my pants for too long.... I keep a $500 cusion in my checking account because I do not balance it..... internet banking has helped there I keep track daily but still debit cards could cause a problem so I keep a cusion and tell dh we have no money.

We live on a budget but I have never written anything down so really I have no idea how much I have each month so I pay bills first and then put the rest on the debt..

OK it is NOT working... I promise we will and yes I said we as dh has no idea of what we owe or anything we will be sitting down and writing a budget and listing all monthy bills.

I got to thinking what if I died he would have no idea about our money at all...so we are starting with a written budget.





One question do I write down the house payment as it is owed each month or do I write it down with the $100 extra I pay each month ?

[Russ]

You are not alone. I have not done our budget yet but have grand intentions of doing so. Since you are starting, then so shall I! I'm replying and quoting myself in my sig so I will hold myself to this.

[Greebo]

Ok, I'm gonna be blunt here - please understand, this isn't judging, this is just me reacting right now.

terrible I know I have flown by the seat of my pants for too long.... I keep a $500 cusion in my checking account because I do not balance it..... internet banking has helped there I keep track daily but still debit cards could cause a problem so I keep a cusion and tell dh we have no money.

Ok - so red flag here - you've had to lie to DH about the money situation. This tells me you need to start working WITH DH on the budget/money situation, as a partnership. It won't be easy, but trust me - divorce is harder, and a marriage based on lying won't last.

We live on a budget but I have never written anything down so really I have no idea how much I have each month so I pay bills first and then put the rest on the debt..

Honey, if it ain't written down, it ain't a budget. Lets be totally honest with ourselves here, too, ok?

OK it is NOT working... I promise we will and yes I said we as dh has no idea of what we owe or anything we will be sitting down and writing a budget and listing all monthy bills.

Good. Now listen carefully:
Your first months budget will NOT work. You will have about 20 emergency budget meetings int he first month, and about 10 in the second. By month THREE, it will start working. Just like it takes time to tame a wild horse, it takes time to tame a wild money flow. But you are doing the right thing to get started.

One question do I write down the house payment as it is owed each month or do I write it down with the $100 extra I pay each month ?

Start with listing out:
INCOME - one line per income source, and how much it works out to per month. For variable incomes, use minimums.
EXPENSES - the household living expenses - food, rent, utilities, car, etc. NOT debts - but everything else, including the stuff you spend money on now you don't need. The idea is to get a complete picture of where your money has been going.
DEBTS - Total balance, interest rate, MINIMUM payment (not what you pay extra).


If you feel comfortable, post that here, and our seasoned experts will offer advice on where to go next.

[chris w]

Doing a budget may be difficult at first but it does get easier - promise.

typically you would list your income and then subtract all bills, food, gas, etc from it.

for those that have never done this may want to start by keeping track of all the things you do pay for.

Even for the next two - four weeks, write down every penny you spend. this will 1. give you an idea of where your money goes and 2. shows you where the money is just blowing out the window.

I usually will list each paycheck and then list bills that are due that date so they are paid on time. I divide the household stuff like grocery , gas, ect evenly between all paychecks, etc.

When I first did the budget I sucked at it. But I was determined. Now I see that I was just letting my money do whatever and now I control it and it works for me instead of the other way around. I was even able to parttime instead of fulltime!

good luck and remember the first 3 months are the hardest but if you are determined to do you will.

[freebs]

I have never wrote down a budget either. I know what comes in and i know what bills to pay. Whats left pays for groceries, gas, things like that. I dont have any credit cards the only credit i have it my computers bought on payments. I know dh wouldnt know where to start if he had to take care of the bills. He asks if we have money as he never spends unless he asks. Pretty much all he spends on is fuel for his truck to go back and forth to work.

[itlw8]

the good thing is I have never lied about what we owe in fact it is posted right next to the computer so he sees it going down each month He is also my support We grocery shop at Walmart and he helps me stay out of the other side of the store unless we have something on the list.



We have more than enough to pay the bills each month but I am so disorganized it would be easy if I was sick or something for disaster to strike fast in fact a few years ago I had my knee replaced and being on pain meds for a few months made my mind fuzzy and we were late on several payments I should have shown him our finances before that. Then giving him the responsibility of taking charge of the finances.


variable income and expenses is part of the planning problem . I have a family childcare so it can be feast or famine being self employed I do figure everything over a certain amount is extra but it is easy to get used to having it for months and then have a lean time.

I guess I should have said we live within our means not on a budget.. I also had to realize that our son is an adult and bailing him out was not in his our our best interest. He blew his chance not me.

And if I keep a written budget then if he ever asks I can show him how to organize finances.

[Greebo]

the good thing is I have never lied about what we owe in fact it is posted right next to the computer so he sees it going down each month He is also my support We grocery shop at Walmart and he helps me stay out of the other side of the store unless we have something on the list.

Ok, this is sounding better. However...I'm gonna bring this up again in a little bit: "I have never lied about what we owe "

variable income and expenses is part of the planning problem . I have a family childcare so it can be feast or famine being self employed I do figure everything over a certain amount is extra but it is easy to get used to having it for months and then have a lean time.

Thus the importance of a written budget, so you can prioritize and cover the essentials first.

I guess I should have said we live within our means not on a budget...

And now we're back to that quote: "I have never lied about what we owe "

I am interpreting "what we owe" to mean you owe debt. I am further assuming, so correct me if I'm wrong, that the debt includes cars and credit cards, and not just your house.

IF that is correct, then it's blunt force honesty time: No, darlin, you do not live within your means. Being able to pay the credit card minimums - or even over the minimums - is not living within your means. Being able to pay cash for everything is living within your means. If you are carrying a balance on anything - cars, credit cards, even yes your mortgage, and you can't write a check at the end of the month to pay it all off in full, you are outside your means. Trust me on this, this is $360,000 dollars of currently outside his means talking.

Again - not judging - just trying to wake you up to the harsh truth so you can address it with fully open eyes.

I also had to realize that our son is an adult and bailing him out was not in his our our best interest. He blew his chance not me.

If he's not changing and doing what he needs to do to fix his own life, then you are 100% right on this!

And if I keep a written budget then if he ever asks I can show him how to organize finances.

True - but just remember--- the budget needs to be something you both agree on. You're in a partnership, which means he gets a vote too. You need to get him involved in the budget meetings - even if its to say, "Here's the budget I've proposed, do you have any changes?" and he reads it carefully and has only one change. He needs to know what's going on. Otherwise you will be two horses pulling the cart in different directions - and that won't work for long.

[larabelle]

I am not sure how you managed without a budget. I just can not function without one. What works for me is keeping my budget on an excel spreadsheet and being diligent about noting EVERYTHING on it. I note each bill as well as the date it is paid. One good thing about my doing it this way is at the end of the year record keeping for tax deductions is easier. Also when I start to get a little depressed about how long it will take me to pay everything off I look back to where I was in January and I feel a WHOLE lot better.

[itsahumanzoo]

I am not sure how you managed without a budget. I just can not function without one. What works for me is keeping my budget on an excel spreadsheet and being diligent about noting EVERYTHING on it. I note each bill as well as the date it is paid. One good thing about my doing it this way is at the end of the year record keeping for tax deductions is easier. Also when I start to get a little depressed about how long it will take me to pay everything off I look back to where I was in January and I feel a WHOLE lot better.

I don't have a written budget either. Would you be comfortable sharing what your spreadsheet looks like? My DH works well with Excel so that would be a great place for me to put the budget. I don't mind if you want to blank out your actual info, I'd just like to see an outline as I have absolutely no idea where to start.

[freebs]

I don't have a written budget either. Would you be comfortable sharing what your spreadsheet looks like? My DH works well with Excel so that would be a great place for me to put the budget. I don't mind if you want to blank out your actual info, I'd just like to see an outline as I have absolutely no idea where to start.

yes me too!

[itlw8]

And now we're back to that quote: "I have never lied about what we owe "

I am interpreting "what we owe" to mean you owe debt. I am further assuming, so correct me if I'm wrong, that the debt includes cars and credit cards, and not just your house.




True - but just remember--- the budget needs to be something you both agree on. You're in a partnership, which means he gets a vote too. You need to get him involved in the budget meetings - even if its to say, "Here's the budget I've proposed, do you have any changes?" and he reads it carefully and has only one change. He needs to know what's going on. Otherwise you will be two horses pulling the cart in different directions - and that won't work for long.

Yes credit cards very low interest and I am ashamed to admit it was not our debt... I was silly enough to bail out ds to a tune of $3000 and we moved him home to get on his feet then major problems with his car and he had to drive ( no public transportation) so out came bank of mom again so I am almost done paying off ( cringe) $8000 of debt ( 0% but still) that was not mine If I were brave enough to pull up our cc for when he had it for emergencies I am sure it is double or triple that amount. I know he will take forever to pay us back.


We had no car loan until recently. my paid for van was totaled and we had planned on waiting 1 year more so the savings was not there... stupid I know it was only worth 3800 His truck is paid off and we will be building that account to be ready if it dies though it should last much longer as he drives mine that gets tons better gas mileage and I work from home.


mortage is another past stupid we did together the house only cost 32000 when we bought it but 30 years later we are still paying... actually it was almost paid off and we put on an addition this time were are making double principal payments.

And the finance thing I was referring to was my son who can not seem to get his financial life together but I will not be an enabler from now on.

Dh and I are on the same track he just leaves it to me and I think he needs to KNOW whare we are even If I still take care of it. I don't want him to be my Grandma and have no idea of how to pay the power bill. But you are right we have not been working together. he just handed over all the responsibility and puts gas in the car and keeps an extra $20 for spending money. The joke is his check is auto deposited and I have spent it ( paying bills online ) before he is even off work.

And Yes I know living with in our current income and saving and paying off debts as fast as we can does not make up for past wrongs.


The cold hard fact is if I had told him ( our son) no I would not have a car loan ( guess who had the accident) no cc debt and all that money would have been paid on my mortage.... ouch.


When the phone rings and they ask for mom they need money or a child is sick when they ask for dad something is wrong with the car.

[Greebo]

Then it sounds like you're making the right decisions now, and that's what matters. The past is the past, the future is changed by what we decide in the present.

Anything we can offer in the way of advice, knowledge, or moral support, you'll get freely here.

[Cricketlegs]

terrible I know I have flown by the seat of my pants for too long.... I keep a $500 cusion in my checking account because I do not balance it..... internet banking has helped there I keep track daily but still debit cards could cause a problem so I keep a cusion and tell dh we have no money.

We live on a budget but I have never written anything down so really I have no idea how much I have each month so I pay bills first and then put the rest on the debt..

OK it is NOT working... I promise we will and yes I said we as dh has no idea of what we owe or anything we will be sitting down and writing a budget and listing all monthy bills.

I got to thinking what if I died he would have no idea about our money at all...so we are starting with a written budget.





One question do I write down the house payment as it is owed each month or do I write it down with the $100 extra I pay each month ?

I use the green columner pads from walmart and I write what I owe,what I paid, and a balance if any so I know at a glace the amount owed, and extra debt paying, and the balance.

With just regular bills I write the amount and then what got paid.

A tip--when something is paid for the month I highlight the payment made so I can see at a glance what is yet to be paid for the month.

[frugalfriend]

Good for you in making a step in the right direction. I have just spent the past few days working tediously on a budget. It was a real eye opener, as our monthly outgo was more than either dh or I thought. I am on top of things now more than ever.

[Cricketlegs]

Also, the thing to remember is the past is the past and tomorrow is a chance to get it together--it is never to late to get on track.

Everyone starts somewhere.