would you let adult children back to live with you?

**ladykemma2** · 08-08-2008, 02:36 PM

there was a woman on "yahoo answers" yesterday who was asking-- how can she break it to her husband that her adult son was going to move back in, because (boohoo, sob, sob) he just can't make it in this tough economic climate. her husband is anti "boomerang kid" and feels kids should make it on their own.

there was a response on there i thought was pretty good, about does the kid have an ipod, well there's 1/2 a month's rent, everytime a song is downloaded on an ipod it costs, text messages cost, staying out of starbucks. basically is the kid wasting his salary?

what are your thoughts on letting able bodied kids come back to live with parents?

**azangie** · 08-08-2008, 02:40 PM

Been there, done that, never again!!!!

Wish I knew then what I know now. What a sucker I was for a hard luck story.

Won't happen again I tell you!!!!

**savvymom** · 08-08-2008, 02:43 PM

My dh, dd, and I are moving in with his parents at the end of this month. Relocating from Maryland to Tennessee. They are allowing it, we are all going to work together to make a difficult situation the best it can be. We only plan to stay with them at most until December, but because we are making a quick transition they are allowing us to stay there while we get settled.

We will be bringing all of our groceries with us and will be doing a good majority of the grocery shopping, we are also going to help them with their utility bill (since it will go up), we will be helping with cooking, cleaning, yardwork, and gardening. My point is, we aren't going down there to stay with them to be freeloaders. They have offered to help us get settled and we have accepted their assistance.

My point to this is I think it depends, if the adult son is expecting a free ride then I wouldn't take him in, but if he's willing to work and help and not stay forever, then I don't see a problem with it. Obviously I'm biased since I'm in the situation.

**joyofsix** · 08-08-2008, 02:52 PM

Not if it's just mismanaging money. In the event of divorce, illness, fire, etc I'd allow it but decide on how long and house rules before they unloaded the car.

**Russ** · 08-08-2008, 02:55 PM

Depends on the circumstance.

**Sonnenwende** · 08-08-2008, 02:57 PM

I had to do it when I came back from Germany. It took me nearly a year of non-stop job searching to find a full-time job I could feed my family on. The second I found it, I was gone. I am grateful my mother let me stay.

I would do it for my daughter depending also on the circumstances. My daughter will be the only child though. :p

**itsahumanzoo** · 08-08-2008, 03:03 PM

We've had to move in with DH's parents once, when I was pregnant with DS. We got close to having to do it again this time, but managed to find an apartment. I think for me, it would depend on the situation. If my kid was blowing all of his money on going out, buying gadgets, whatever, I would have a hard time letting him back in. First, I would advise him to sell some stuff, and if he still was doing poorly, then I might help him out a little bit. I just hope I can instill in my children that sense of frugality and simple living that my DH and I have picked up.

**JerryG** · 08-08-2008, 03:06 PM

My son still lives with me. So, yeah, he could move back in anytime. There are no issues. He does chores, errands, etc. that I ask him to and I'm looking for work right now, so he's paying all the bills. I won't ever give him a "deadline" to move out. We get along good but I know he'd like a place to host poker tournements and no, that's not happening here.

Flip side of the question - Would you ever move in with your kids??

**danni** · 08-08-2008, 03:06 PM

My 19 yr old dd and her 21 yr old fiance are living with us right now. we agreed to let them stay for awhile since they just moved here from another province. wBut they know the rules, they help with the chores and they pay rent to help with groceries and utilities. I think it depends on the kid and the situation.

**ladykemma2** · 08-08-2008, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by joyofsix

Not if it's just mismanaging money. In the event of divorce, illness, fire, etc I'd allow it but decide on how long and house rules before they unloaded the car.

my impression from this particular thread was mismanagment of money, not a catastrophe.

i don't have kids, but if I did, would allow it in crisis situation or to help someone get on their feet, perhaps three months only.

**Toonces2** · 08-08-2008, 03:08 PM

My kids are never going to move out, they told me so. I guess I wont have that issue! LOL!

**cissylu** · 08-08-2008, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by rcannon

Depends on the circumstance.

I`ve done it before with ds . Now it would be dgs!

**Lilolme** · 08-08-2008, 03:14 PM

To make a long story short...YES I would!

**itsahumanzoo** · 08-08-2008, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by JerryG

Flip side of the question - Would you ever move in with your kids??

I guess it would depend on the situation. I would love my mom to come live with me, but she has my dad and my siblings to worry about, so I'm not more special. If my mom was single I would love her to move in with me.

**nancycg56** · 08-08-2008, 03:25 PM

My oldest lives here and we don't have a problem with it ~ he pays his own way for everything, does his laundry, yada, yada, yada. I hardly ever see him ~ he works nights. He's welcome to leave whenever he wants.

I'm sure there will come a day when we kick him out but for now, we're good.