Pep Talk Needed

**daughter of pearl** · 08-11-2008, 11:04 PM

Hi folks!

So I am coming up to payday on Friday, all bills are current and there is $100 in EF...of Friday, my plan is to put another $100 in EF, take $300 for household (food, laundry, transportation, gifts, incidentals) and put $700 on my Visa...

I have this weird voice in my head that is saying "You're caught up again, why are you stressing? You can afford to splurge a bit..."

Who is this little voice, and how do I make her shut the %^#* up?

I need to keep going but she is very loud and perisistent...

Any suggestions (short of a lobotomy!)?
Janet

**Cricketlegs** · 08-12-2008, 12:29 AM

OKAY LISTEN TO ME NOW!

That voice will drain every ounce of joy and happiness from your life!

Do you have $1000 in the EF? no?

Then you aren't caught up. Your bills may be current but you are NOT where you need to be.

If your radiator explodes tomorrow, where will the money come from?

If you say your Credit card you are really in trouble!

Remember, get current, make baby EF, snowball, 3-6 months Ef etc.

No where does it say splurge!

NOW< if you have budgeted it in and the numbers work-give yourself a small allowance, one you can afford in cash and have a little fun.

Please don't fall off the frugal wagon!

**missmanny** · 08-12-2008, 03:55 AM

Take a deep breath.... now- YOU CAN DO THIS.

all you need to do is think about how it will feel once all of your debts are gone, there is your EF in place and you are home free.

Once you've done that you can splurge all you want. Trust me this is the only thought that keeps my voices under control.

You'll get there, just log in here when you need a kik in the pants. That always keeps me focused.

**Greebo** · 08-12-2008, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by daughter of pearl

Hi folks!

So I am coming up to payday on Friday, all bills are current and there is $100 in EF...of Friday, my plan is to put another $100 in EF, take $300 for household (food, laundry, transportation, gifts, incidentals) and put $700 on my Visa...

Why not put $800 in your EF and pay the minimum on the Visa?

Why? Because if you only have a BEF of $100 and something goes wrong, you're going to have to use that Visa again.

Build up a BEF of $1000 and CUT UP the visa, cause now you won't need it.

I have this weird voice in my head that is saying "You're caught up again, why are you stressing? You can afford to splurge a bit..."

Yep - old habits die hard. But it's wrong - YOU CAN NOT AFFORD TO SPLURGE. You have credit card debt. That means you have lived beyond your means. (Any kind of debt means that, honestly.) In short you have SOLD your future to buy the present. If you want to HAVE a future, its time to pay the price now.

Who is this little voice, and how do I make her shut the %^#* up?

Go to http://www.daveramsey.com/tdrs/ - click on the Archives tab (you may need to flip between tabs a few times) and listen to one of his 3 hour shows. You will hear plenty of stories of people who thought they could afford to "splurge a little". Listen to enough of those horror stories, and your little voice will shrivel and die in the corner of fright - you'll be too afraid NOT to get out of debt.

And keep checking back here - we're all rooting for you, your own personal online support group!

**joyofsix** · 08-12-2008, 06:20 AM

Stick your fingers in your ears and scream "Lalalalala"

Seriously, do something nice for yourself that's frugal. Make a great cup or tea or adult beverage and sit under a tree with a book for an hour. Soak your feet and do your own pedicure. Call a friend and chat. Do not spend $$$$$ frivolously. Listen to the previous posters.

**Ceashels** · 08-12-2008, 09:52 AM

Can you imagine having your BEF almost fully funded this month? That means not having to worry about getting an alternator fixed on the car, or replacing a tire or getting the fridge fixed without going into more debt and paying interest to some big bank company.

They don't deserve to make more but you deserve to have financial peace of mind. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Your future is waiting for you and you have the opportunity to get some money saved (BEF), pay down your debt, and then come up with ideas of how to spend and save and give the paycheck that you'll get when you aren't paying someone else out of it first.

We're cheering for ya'!

**ladykemma2** · 08-12-2008, 09:58 AM

i gave you a sample budget, can you post what you decided? have you given yourself any pocket money?

give yourself some pocket money, and pay your emergency fund first. there is a psychological thing that happens when you have a chunk of change in the bank. it makes the "I want to go shopping" desire to go away.

edited to add: here is the suggested budget, padded so that single people don't go berserk from loneliness and deprivation and can have a little life. i think what you have done is used your pocket money to pay the emergency fund, now deprived, you are going bananas. How do I know?, Been there, done that...

baby emergency fund 1000.

rent 800
phone 75
phone 45
transport 50
insurance 30
internet 45
s loan 50
visa 100
mc 355
groceries/supplies 350 (you made this number 300)
pocket money 200 ( you put this towards the EF) 0

total 2100

that leaves 700 for snowball

i would knock out that student loan first, then that leaves 700+50 for the next snowball. than 700+50+100 for the biggest snowball. you will be debt free quickly.

**mombottoo** · 08-12-2008, 11:27 AM

You are experiencing what all of us have experienced and still do whether we admit it or not...I am of the firm mind that there is no such thing as extra money, because there is always somewhere it could go. I agree that you should pay the minimum on your cc pymt and put the $700 you were planning on sending them into your EF.

Once your EF is funded then work whole hog on debt repayment without taking on any new debt. I am also a firm believer that a person should continue to add funds to their savings until they have 3-6 months living expenses covered in addition to paying down their debt...but, that's just my opinion.

You can quite the voice in your head by reading a good book if you like to read...you can borrow one from the library so you won't need to buy one

!

**dcompton** · 08-12-2008, 11:50 AM

I agree with ladykemma 2 that you need to somehow find yourself a little allowance money in the budget. That voice will never ever go away if you feel totally deprived. There are cases where the situation is so dire that it must be done, and then all you can do it grit your teeth and carry on. But if you feel like you can never go out for a cup of coffee with a friend, or spend a little for an occasional treat at the grocery store, or buy a new towel to brighten up the bathroom, or rent a movie, it will be extremely difficult to hang in. Just be sure the treats are in the budget and they are not expensive ones. Of course, it's great, and better, to find free treats, but life is not boot camp, and relaxation is not necessarily indulgence. A small allowance for fun is really your "mental health fund."

**ladykemma2** · 08-12-2008, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by dcompton

I agree with ladykemma 2 that you need to somehow find yourself a little allowance money in the budget. That voice will never ever go away if you feel totally deprived. There are cases where the situation is so dire that it must be done, and then all you can do it grit your teeth and carry on. But if you feel like you can never go out for a cup of coffee with a friend, or spend a little for an occasional treat at the grocery store, or buy a new towel to brighten up the bathroom, or rent a movie, it will be extremely difficult to hang in. Just be sure the treats are in the budget and they are not expensive ones. Of course, it's great, and better, to find free treats, but life is not boot camp, and relaxation is not necessarily indulgence. A small allowance for fun is really your "mental health fund."

yes. i made her spending plan according to a blend of dave ramsey and the debtor's anonymous principles. sometimes the gazelle intense dave ramsey method is too extreme.

there is something psychological that happens when you have 100 bucks in your pocket. when your "Inner kid" knows that she can go shopping any time she wants to and she can have the widget, that's frequently all she wants.

there is something psychological that happens when you have a prudent reserve (emergency fund) in the bank. the "gimmes" go away.

from debtor's anonymous: Spending Plan

The spending plan puts our needs first and gives us clarity and balance in our spending. It includes categories for income, spending, debt payment and savings (to help us build cash reserves, however humble). The income plan helps us focus on increasing our income. The debt payment category guides us in making realistic payment arrangements without depriving ourselves. Savings can include prudent reserve, retirement and special purchases.