Do I start budgeting in blow money for DH?

**MomToTwoBoys** · 08-25-2008, 01:21 PM

I've been doing a budget since May and every month, I look at the statements from our bank accounts and realize that DH is continuing to spend money on things that I don't budget in for. I did start budgeting in for gas and smokes this month. Here's our budget so far:

Income:

August 20th - $295.31
August 21st - $766.26
September 1st - $450
September 4th - $766.26
September 18th - $766.26
September 19th - $295.31

Total: $3339.40

Expenses:

1) Cell - $90.51
2) VISA - $118
3) Utilities - $240.43
4) Cable/Phone/Internet - $173.14
5) MDG - $53
6) Best Buy - $290.71 (Payment #2 on debt snowball)
7) Car Ins - $94.76
8) House Ins - $50.79
9) Prop Tax - $105
10) ADT (Alarm) - $33.59
11) Gym - $44.10
12) CC - $41.00
13) Life Ins (DH) - $12.95
14) Acct Fee (DH Chequing) - $15.95

Total: $2083.93

Additional Expenses:

1) Groceries - $720 (Covers from August 24th to October 4th)
2) School Fees - $65 (due by August 29th)
3) Smokes - $60/wk ($360 total)
4) Gas - $40/wk ($240 total)

Total Expenses: $3468.93

Somehow, we're in the hole! I don't get it. Did I add something in wrong? I am totally freaked out now. Then I realize I added in another $720 on top of what I had set out for groceries so

we'd somehow have spent $1440 for six weeks worth of food...

this is why I am so glad I double check my budget.

After redoing all the numbers and realizing I'm a moron for adding in an extra $720 for groceries, here's how we're looking:

Total Income: $3339.40

Total Expenses: $2748.93

Overall Savings: $590.47 (This does not include any overtime pay because his overtime varies from payday to payday)

Anyways, do I start budgeting in the eating out part that DH is doing or just give him blow money? The main problem is that I never know how much he's going to spend on coffee every month. That's the main source of his extra spending. I really hate the idea of coining it as the term blow money so maybe I need to name it something else. His "blow money" is actually putting us in a position where we can't contribute any more to savings. Sure, we have our EF in place. It's $1,000. Sure we have our debt snowball budgeted in. That part of our debt repayment plan is set in stone. The problem is that our budget for this month is also all sorts of weird because DH got shortchanged and gets the other half of his check today. All in all, after I add in the money for gas and smokes and the school fees we're up about $590 and that's with a third paycheck this month.

I hate this! I actually wanted to put money into savings. Am I just expecting too much?

**itlw8** · 08-25-2008, 01:53 PM

If it is getting spent each month you need to account for it

And if he is not onboard cutting it back it will be a problem because YOU think he needs to stop

together you need to find a way to control or plan for that spending.

**Greebo** · 08-25-2008, 02:08 PM

Are you guys actually on the same overall page but doing pieces individually, or are you trying to do this on your own?

**MomToTwoBoys** · 08-25-2008, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by itlw8

If it is getting spent each month you need to account for it

And if he is not onboard cutting it back it will be a problem because YOU think he needs to stop

together you need to find a way to control or plan for that spending.

I think I may just start planning on the spending. I can use his bank statements, get a general amount of what he's spending per week, and then budget that in.

Originally Posted by Greebo

Are you guys actually on the same overall page but doing pieces individually, or are you trying to do this on your own?

Well the setup of the budget is on my own. He and I talked about limiting his lunch fund by bringing from home and he's been good about that ever since. I think he's letting me do the budgeting because as he was growing up, he never did it himself.

**Greebo** · 08-25-2008, 03:02 PM

I think its past time that he was a part of the budgeting process. Its fine if you come up with the draft and then go over it together, but he needs to actually review the budget and give input.

Him being absent from the process isn't working, as evidenced by the need for this thread.

**EmilyD** · 08-25-2008, 03:19 PM

Total Income: $3339.40

Total Expenses: $2748.93

Sounds like you need to talk to dh and get him on the same page. When you do, give him an allowance and say "no more".

$60.00 per week? for cigs ... that is plenty of allowance .. no eating out or blow money, he is already "blowing" $60.00 a week

Good luck!

**missmanny** · 08-25-2008, 05:41 PM

I agree with others who think that DH needs some more imput into the budget.

It sounds to me as if you make a budget and he is with you in theory but then continues to spend little bits here and there.

If you gave him an anmount in cash (as agreed to by both of you) and he just spends that, it would probably be easier for you rather then guessing how much he would sepnd. based on what he spent last month.