Buyers remorse over a hat and scarf?

**imagine** · 12-29-2008, 05:54 PM

I think I have buyers remorse over a hat and scarf I bought for Daughter. At least I think the guilty feeling is for buying them.
We headed to the big city for the day. Planned a while ago. My mother came down for the trip too.

We returned Son's shirts and got the same two back in a bigger size - fair exchange $0

Then we bought daughter a scarf and hat and jeans. She wanted a girl stocking hat not the boy hand me down from brother. We said okay and she looked high and low for just the right one. We also looked for a pair of jeans as her current jeans were to tight. She found what she wanted at Gymboree- Hat on sale for $6.99 and Jeans on sale for $6.99 and we impulse bought the matching scarf.I always wanted a scarf to match my hat growing up so..... I splurged. Scraf on sale for $6.99. (total spent $22.53) I let her know the hat and scarf were a birthday present. We let her have them now though. Her birthday is a month from today.

Didn't find me any jeans at the thrift store.

But I have a guilty feeling for spending today.

Maybe it is from the fact that the transfer from on account to another account didn't make it in a timely manner ( been happening more often with that bank) And the Automatic Withdraws for bills bounced. So I spent the morning calling the gas and the insurance. Paying them. We have the money but were treated like we don't . Do you know how hard it is to convince the gas company that you would like to pay ALL the bill not just enough to keep the gas on?

We moved the Automatic draft to another bank account at a different bank so this wouldn't happen again.

Or is my buyers remorse from something else?
Maybe today I would have buyers remorse over a loaf of bread.

I don't know how to interpret this feeling.

**Momto2Boyz** · 12-29-2008, 06:11 PM

It just sounds like a bad day in general. If you had the money, then don't feel bad about buying the scarf, especially if it was a birthday present. It sounds like you got a good deal, and were being smart about it! Don't beat yourself up!

**Ilovesewing** · 12-29-2008, 06:19 PM

I am not a spender and hate shopping so just about any purchase I make is met with guilt afterwards. It doesn't matter how much I 'need' what I have bought I will feel guilty for spending money. Could this be how you are feeling? On top of the fact that you had to re-arrange funds to pay your bills it could make for yucky feelings.

I think if your prices were good, and you didn't spend a lot overall, then you don't need to feel badly. When you start feeling guilty look at your dd's face and how happy she is. And move on.........

**imagine** · 12-29-2008, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by Momto2Boyz

It just sounds like a bad day in general. If you had the money, then don't feel bad about buying the scarf, especially if it was a birthday present. It sounds like you got a good deal, and were being smart about it! Don't beat yourself up!

Yeah, it has been a bad day.

After I posted and we cleaned up dinner. The dishwasher broke, mid-cycle. I was reading the youngest her bedtime stories (actually she was reading to me) the power flickered only in the kitchen and the dishwasher stopped. Hubby couldn't get anything to work on it. He is hoping it is only the dishwasher and not the electricity. Old house so that would be an expensive thing and quite plausible.

Tomorrow is an new day, Right? In three days it will be an New Year

**imagine** · 12-29-2008, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by Ilovesewing

I am not a spender and hate shopping so just about any purchase I make is met with guilt afterwards. It doesn't matter how much I 'need' what I have bought I will feel guilty for spending money. Could this be how you are feeling? On top of the fact that you had to re-arrange funds to pay your bills it could make for yucky feelings.

I think if your prices were good, and you didn't spend a lot overall, then you don't need to feel badly. When you start feeling guilty look at your dd's face and how happy she is. And move on.........

I'm generally not a spender. So the feeling you described might be it. Example When we rent a movie if we paid for it is hard to enjoy it because it/I put to much pressure on it to be great. That doesn't happen with rental from gift cards or from the library.

**mama2James** · 12-29-2008, 11:52 PM

This is just my humble opinion, but the way I look at it is that I am frugal in order to provide a better life for myself and my family. Part of a good life is enjoying yourself and giving joy to others. You made your daughter happy by giving her a hat and scarf that she likes. They are practical items that she will use often. Honestly, money is just a tool, a means to an end. You can't take it with you, as they say. So don't beat yourself up...if you can never buy a small gift for your daughter without feeling bad, what's the point of all this frugalness anyway?

**fixer** · 12-30-2008, 12:41 AM

I can relate to buyers remorse. Dw and I are constantly fighting it. We always feel we don't get our monies worth and disappointed in what we buy. When you work hard to save, it becomes difficult to part with your money. I feel this is the dark side of frugality.

**imagine** · 12-30-2008, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by fixer

I can relate to buyers remorse. Dw and I are constantly fighting it. We always feel we don't get our monies worth and disappointed in what we buy. When you work hard to save, it becomes difficult to part with your money. I feel this is the dark side of frugality.

The darkside. Yep that would be it.

**imagine** · 12-30-2008, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by mama2James

This is just my humble opinion, but the way I look at it is that I am frugal in order to provide a better life for myself and my family. Part of a good life is enjoying yourself and giving joy to others. You made your daughter happy by giving her a hat and scarf that she likes. They are practical items that she will use often. Honestly, money is just a tool, a means to an end. You can't take it with you, as they say. So don't beat yourself up...if you can never buy a small gift for your daughter without feeling bad, what's the point of all this frugalness anyway?

Thanks for the reminder

**Cricket1** · 12-30-2008, 09:30 AM

Well, look at it this way--a hat and scarf are very useful items. $6.99 for each is not a lot of money. Divide it by the number of times she'll use them and it probably comes out to fractions of a cent for each time used. I think that maybe all the other crap happening made you feel a little down. I'm sure dd will be toasty warm now!

**imagine** · 12-30-2008, 09:39 AM

So I didn't sleep much last night tossed and turned.

Did some thinking Here are some of my thoughts.

I think the calls and notices from the bounced Automatic withdrawal affected the way I thought. I know that we had the money for now but it felt a little to close to the financial edge for me. The safety net that would have caught the delayed transfer and prevented the bounce wasn't there. The cushions that use to be just aren't as substantial. We did have a big cushion before. Five years ago we lived on half of Hubby's Salary and saved the rest. But we never saw him and so we downsized everything (except the house) to take his new job ( which we get to see him often/everyday) His new salary was half the old. The past five years the children have grown and become more expensive as well as prices have grown but not so much Hubby's salary (almost no raises). The simplifying we did voluntarily doesn't feel so voluntary anymore.

So I think the entire day was just to much for me.

1) one of the very few trips to the big city that always end up costing money. And planned for splurges that come with being able to find things you can't find locally.
2) the phone calls and bounced Auto withdraw the whole to close to the financial edge for me not as much of a landing cushion as I wish
3) then a possibly big expense of the dishwasher or electricity

I think now that I can name it I can tackle it.

**imagine** · 12-30-2008, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by Cricket1

Well, look at it this way--a hat and scarf are very useful items. $6.99 for each is not a lot of money. Divide it by the number of times she'll use them and it probably comes out to fractions of a cent for each time used. I think that maybe all the other crap happening made you feel a little down. I'm sure dd will be toasty warm now!

I think you are right the whole day just piled up in my head.

I think we were posting that thought at the same time. LOL

**Dancing Lotus** · 12-30-2008, 09:53 AM

yeah know I did almost the same thing the week before Christmas. My dd needed new shoes , we were out and she fell in love with a pair of boots she saw. They were on sale for 12.99 and she loved them so I let her get them. Then the next day I was questioning why I had done that. When a kid needs new shoes you get something practical like tennis shoes. Now she is going to have to wear those boots.

This is the kind of cycle I wish to get out of. I don't want every purchase to be about need vs want. And I don't want every want to a regret later on. It's so hard to keep frugality from becoming an obsession.

I say let this one go and enjoy giving your daughter an early gift.

**imagine** · 12-30-2008, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by AnnK

yeah know I did almost the same thing the week before Christmas. My dd needed new shoes , we were out and she fell in love with a pair of boots she saw. They were on sale for 12.99 and she loved them so I let her get them. Then the next day I was questioning why I had done that. When a kid needs new shoes you get something practical like tennis shoes. Now she is going to have to wear those boots.

This is the kind of cycle I wish to get out of. I don't want every purchase to be about need vs want. And I don't want every want to a regret later on. It's so hard to keep frugality from becoming an obsession.

I say let this one go and enjoy giving your daughter an early gift.

Is your daughter enjoying her boots? Did you ever get over the why did I do that feeling?