Feeling like a moron

[hwmabire3]

As of November 2008, my husband and I had approximately $5,000 in credit card debt, mostly due to him being out of work for 7 months(we are a one-income household). One card in particular was really killing us with its 30% interest. I found a great new credit card that offered 0% interest on purchases AND balance transfers for one year and only 7% interest after that. I got the new card and transferred the full balance of the 30% card over. All was well with the world, and I felt like a million bucks.

Then, Christmas started coming. We had no money, so like an idiot, I started using the 30% credit card. We ate out a couple of times and bought 3 gifts for our daughter, but the biggest problem was me. I went on a shopping spree at Walmart and also online. Now, in my defense, a lot of the things I bought were needs, but there were a couple of things that were not. Particularly $150 worth of books. Anyway, long story short, the card that had no balance now has a balance of over $1,500, and we are now approximately $6,500 in debt. I feel so stupid that I went back to using the card, but at the same time, I know that most of the stuff I bought were things we really needed(new bedding, a food processor, a new blender, and some other small kitchen appliances) but I feel awful about it.

On top of all this, my husband is convinced that we need a new computer. He is fully aware that we do not have the money, but unfortunately, we have a credit card with Best Buy. I told him that we have two choices, we either make do with what we have until we've saved up money for a computer, or we buy a new computer and put ourselves further into debt. He hasn't made his choice yet, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be the computer. I just feel like every time we take one step forward financially, we end up taking two steps back.

Okay, rant over.

[Patty A]

I know how you feel, we are in over our heads again because its the first of the year and our EF fund was eatten up on car repairs. So I have to admit I have used the credit card to meet out of pocket deductible for our meds. Its so hard to do it, but it is something we can't do without. Having said that once you start to use the "card" again its easy to let it be the answer to all the problems. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over this, we all fall off the "frugal" wagon sometimes. The real trick is jumping back on. Leave the guilt behind and start again. Its a whole new year, time for a new you and me. Jump up, brush yourself off and start again. Tighten the belt where you can and do what you can. The guilt won't help, it will just eat at you. Your in the right place to get encouragement, and it does help to keep you on the wagon!

[madhen]

Have you considered returning any of the items you bought with the cc? For example, I know you said you needed everything you bought, but few people really NEED a food processor, and you might have to stop and ask how you "needed" $1,500 worth of stuff when you wouldn't have been able to get it, had you not made the money "available" by getting a new card. It might be something you really want and that might make life easier, but would you have bought it if it cost 1/3 more than it did? Because that is what you just did.

If you can knock that balance down with returns, your first monthly payment should be interest free, since most cards give you a grace period. You should try to remember how victimized and angry you felt paying that usurious interest on that card, and not give them the opportunity to victimize you again. Every time I get a card paid off now, I call and cancel the account, just to "stick it to the man." Makes me feel better than any new object could.

[mombottoo]

This is why you should close out an account when you use another account to pay it off. We all make mistakes and so long as we learn from them then all is good in the long run. I'm with taking whatever you can back to the places you got it from...I don't have a food processor or a blender so for me these two items are definitely not "needs"...wants maybe, but not a need.

As far as a new computer goes, mine is 7 years old. Is there any particular reason your hubby thinks you "need" a new computer? Last year for my hubby it was a Wii, and yes the spoiled brat did get one. It seems every year after Christmas he decides he "needs" to have something and it's usually not cheap ugh! This year he has all the sudden decided he "needs" a LCD HDTV and it has to be bigger than the regular TV we have now...now mind you the day after Thanksgiving I could have gotten a 36" LCD HDTV for less than $500, but he said we didn't need a new TV until the one we have dies. Now, he wants one and his excuse for not wanting the one that was on sale was because it was smaller (current tv is 37"), like an inch makes a big difference.

Mind you, I no longer have the $500 I was willing to spend on a TV so he is just out of luck...generally, if he crawls up my hindend enough I give in...but, this time I am standing firm because I'm just sick of this game playing crap every year and he can kiss what he likes to crawl up...if you get my meaning.

[larabelle]

Oh my!!!
Is there no way you can talk him out of purchasing a new computer...it will just make you deeper in the hole.
You just have to think of a way to talk him out of it.

[knitnmom]

Oh, how funny! My husband and I just went through this with a tv! What is it with men and their tv's?! Anyways, we have a 52" tv that died in the livingroom. It had been declining and we got it repaired about every 3 months over the last year. Well, the tv repair guy said the last time that the next time it died, it would be dead.

A couple of months ago, we finally had the cash to buy ourselves a nice tv for our bedroom. It was smaller, but it was still an LCD HDTV and cost $2400. We paid cash.

So, back to the dead tv. Over Christmas we moved the bedroom tv into the livingroom and that is where it still is. Hubby misses the tv in the bedroom and wanted to find a "buy now-pay later" deal. I finally talked him out of it, but it took me two days!! I just reminded him that our goal is not to incur any new debt, and even those "deals" are debt. I also told him that if it meant that much to him, that we can slow down our debt repayment and put that money towards a new tv, but, we should still pay cash for anything we buy. We are totally fine only having one tv- getting another is a want and NOT a need.

In the end, he realized I was right and we didn't buy a new one. Praise God!! It really is a constant battle fighting that urge to buy and spend! But, I'm glad that hubby and I can talk things out and come out agreeing on what to do.

[forHISglory]

I agree with Mad Hen.

[hwmabire3]

Have you considered returning any of the items you bought with the cc? For example, I know you said you needed everything you bought, but few people really NEED a food processor, and you might have to stop and ask how you "needed" $1,500 worth of stuff when you wouldn't have been able to get it, had you not made the money "available" by getting a new card. It might be something you really want and that might make life easier, but would you have bought it if it cost 1/3 more than it did? Because that is what you just did.

If you can knock that balance down with returns, your first monthly payment should be interest free, since most cards give you a grace period. You should try to remember how victimized and angry you felt paying that usurious interest on that card, and not give them the opportunity to victimize you again. Every time I get a card paid off now, I call and cancel the account, just to "stick it to the man." Makes me feel better than any new object could.

I won't be able to return anything...all the boxes have already been picked up by the trash men and I've used everything that I bought. Here's what I bought:
Food processor - I didn't have one and often needed one
Blender - Our old blender died and we drink a lot of homemade shakes
Countertop oven - Our kitchen oven died and we can't afford to replace or repair it, so I purchased a countertop oven so that I can bake.
Portable burners - Our cooktop in our kitchen died and, once again, we can't afford to repair or replace it, so we got the burners instead.
Miscellaneous household expenses - [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Seventh-Generation-Bathroom-Tissue-500-Sheet/dp/B000C7OHFK/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1235248530&sr=8-1"]Toilet paper[/ame], cat food, dog food, cat litter, paper towels, new sheets, etc.
The majority of my spending took place online at Amazon.com. They have my credit card info. saved on their site so I don't even have to have my card to purchase anything! After I started having buyer's remorse, I went to all the sites that I shop online at and I deleted all the cc info so that it wouldn't be so easy for me to buy stuff again.

I definitely get what you're saying about trying to return the stuff, but at this point, it just isn't possible. All these things have been used on a daily basis for the past 30 days.

I've made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Since my husband recently became employed, I will be able to start paying down the cards. Once I get them paid off, I'll have to hide them or something. According to Suze Orman, you're not supposed to close an account after you pay it off because it affects your credit to debt ratio and it can cause trouble on your FICO score.

[madhen]

Keep in mind that having too much available credit also affects your FICO. You can close one account every so many months, with no impact on your score. And it sounds like they are too tempting for you and your husband to have around. (I am not judging. They are too tempting for me, as well, which is why I close mine as I pay them off.)

[rowdy35]

well, you know what to do so you just need to do it. You need to pay off that debt. If I was in your shoes I would concentrate on increasing my income. that might mean Ebaying stuff, babysitting, elder care, or getting a job.

as far as a new computer goes it does not make sense to go into further debt when you are a one income family, but I do understand having a hubby who wants toys. Mine is the same way and he buys what he wants without consulting me sometimes and it totally drives me coo coo. I have to say he is a hard working man and he pays his fair share of bills but marriage is a partnership and theoretically both partners should decide on large purchases in a Perfect World. Of course, you and I both know there is no such thing as UTOPIA

[xtena]

It's too late to return things, as you've stated. But in the future, when you 'need' something like a small household appliance, consider thrift store, freecycle or Craiglist first. You'll save money and keep stuff out of landfills as well.

A few months ago I 'needed' a new waffle iron. I found one at a thrift store for five bucks. Unfortunately it was made in China, like all the new ones I looked at but at least it wasn't my original purchasing dollars that funded its manufacture. I cleaned it up and it works great.

I found out the other day that I 'need' a new food processor. The bowl of mine cracked and started leaking, and it's so old I have no hope of finding a replacement. So one of these days I'll find one at a thrift store.

[frugalbabe]

I cannot eat just one piece of chocolate, if I know there is a bag of chocolate in the house I will snitch a piece every time I pass it. It is a weakness of mine that I recognize so instead of torturing myself I simply do not keep chocolate in the house any larger than the occassional candy bar -- never a bag. You need to destroy this card. Now. None of this "but it will affect my FICO score". I'm not judging you because honey I AM you (just check out my siggy). If I have a card at my easy access I will rationalize my way into using it so simply put I have removed it from my use. And yes things do pop up where it is my knee jerk reaction to pull out my card and buy whatever it is that is a quick fix. It is amazing how creative one can get when forced to make-do or do without.

[ladytoysdream]

Credit cards are just way too tempting for some people.
We no longer have any in this house because the hubby was always tempted.
Everything we buy now is cash . Only big stuff, like a vehicle loan or the furnace
we bought this summer would be a loan.

I currently have a major problem with my current computer that is 10 yrs old this
month. It will go to a computer tech sometime soon for a checkup. If fixing is minor,
then okay. If fixing is major, then I now have that problem solved. I asked one of my
sons if he knew anyone who might have a used computer for sale. He found me one,
only 2.5 yrs old. It turned out to be, free to me
Lady who got rid of this one, said it was too slow for her. Gosh, it's faster than my
old one. I'm pleased . Another compaq presario

[fixer]

I don't understand why some men like toys. I work with a lot of them. It must be some sort of self-affirmation they get with the purchases. Everyone shows me their latest electronics and I show them a great shovel I picked up at a yard sale. To each his own I guess.

[magoo]

Please don't take this as me being snarky, but you couldn't afford to repair or replace your oven, yet you bought $1500 worth of stuff?