What do you do????

[kellieetter]

I have hit a wall!! What do you do when you have tried everything you can but nothing works??? I have major debt and it seems like something always stands in the way of making larger payments each month!! I have tried to sell stuff, get a second job, our budget is as tight as we can get it, everything has been cancelled. What do you do when you hit that point???

[Michelle]

You keep on keepin' on...just keep plugging away. I've BTDT, and it seemed like we'd never be out of debt, but we just kept putting one foot in front of the other and eventually got out of it. Hang in there.

[fixer]

You do exactly what you are doing, keep trying. The fact you are discouraged shows how important this is to you. That shows you will succeed. Good luck and keep fighting.

[Gardengal18]

Yep, keep on working at it.

[ladykemma2]

I have hit a wall!! What do you do when you have tried everything you can but nothing works??? I have major debt and it seems like something always stands in the way of making larger payments each month!! I have tried to sell stuff, get a second job, our budget is as tight as we can get it, everything has been cancelled. What do you do when you hit that point???

i mean this in all kindness and i have a concerned smile on my face. I went and read your posts from the past 2 months. you put in a garden, purchased a waterfall, rocks for a border, plants and bushes, 4 dozen long stem roses for your anniversary, and new york strip steaks.

have you REALLY cut your budget? have you cut cable? have you dropped to trackphones? are you on cheap dial up? have you meal planned? have you cut phantom load? laundry expense cutting measures? a/c on 78? shop with a calculator to keep a running total?

to put this in perspective, i just got back from grocery shopping. i had to struggle to buy 5 pounds of cheap 80/20 hamburger meat. I had to put the clearance chicken thighs back or i would have gone over budget.

[MomToTwoBoys]

I agree that you keep on keepin' on. I've also BTDT for a really long time and the little things really do help. Since you have so much debt, it'll take longer to see the results that you want. DH and I struggled for over 5 years and just in the first five months of this year, we've paid off $8k in debt (not including the loan that my inlaws just gave us because that's still a debt - just a debt that carries 0% interest).

If what you're doing now doesn't seem to be effective, then you should look at alternatives. If you've cut everything and made a lot of changes, perhaps the changes you've made aren't the right ones. Tweak things a bit more and see what the results are. You'll get there!

[rowdy35]

this is what I do:

I have been pretty successful at this as my debt was at 340K in November 2007 & we don't have a high income (80K combined)

* maintain a debt / payments due spreadsheet & update it regularly
* set financial goals
* transfer cc & car loan debt to 0% to get relief off interest rates (not sure if you can do this)
* keep my husband on a cash allowance for his blow $ and only use cc's sparingly (I pay them off monthly)
* coupon/don't eat out/cook from scratch/buy used clothes/pack lunch for both of us daily
* work a full time and a part time job
* we do our own yardwork, maintain our cars, do it yourself home improvement, barter

It takes time, don't get discouraged. Just hang in there with us and keep on working it. You didn't get into the debt overnight and you won't get out of it overnight. Slow & Steady wins the race. You can do this !!

[Gardengal18]

i mean this in all kindness and i have a concerned smile on my face. I went and read your posts from the past 2 months. you put in a garden, purchased a waterfall, rocks for a border, plants and bushes, 4 dozen long stem roses for your anniversary, and new york strip steaks.

have you REALLY cut your budget? have you cut cable? have you dropped to trackphones? are you on cheap dial up? have you meal planned? have you cut phantom load? laundry expense cutting measures? a/c on 78? shop with a calculator to keep a running total?

ooooh, didn't know this.....I tend to have to agree with the rest of your post then. So sorry OP.

[hollyhill]

There has been some great advise given. I am doing all the above. And can't add much more... other than cut your energy costs and cut down driving to the min.

I hate it as much as you do. Unemployment, and debt are terrible terrible.... things..

[CrazyHomemaker]

BTDT - several times. Keep on plugging away. Be honest and cut back! Do the envelope thing. Before you buy (even groceries), ask yourself 'Do I really need this? Or, do I want this?' If it's a 'want', don't buy it. It's killing me not buying the extra 'wants', but I'm doing it. I'm on a mission, right now. DH wants to retire with 1-1/2 years to 62! (I have a long way to go before retirement.) To him, it doesn't look possible. To me, it looks possible, but not easy. He's scared. I'm willing to work with it. You're not alone in this. Borrow 'Debt Cures They Don't Want You To Know About' (half hot air and half help) by Kevin Trudeau or ANYTHING written by Dave Ramsey (my hero!). Hugs to you.

[kellieetter]

Before you judge maybe you should ask me how those things were done. To be honest if you have nothing nice to say don't say them at all. And all those who thanked you are just as bad as you. People like you are why I am starting to dislike this site, you can't simply encourage you have discourage, shame on you!

First off the steaks are from Angel Food Ministries, Second the roses where for my one year anniv. my husband has been saving for months in secret to buy me those, and the yard was a gift from my parents because my homeowners kept threating to fine me if we didnt do something with the yard...it all cost under $500.00 bc I am good at finding deals. Maybe you should get your facts straight before you run off at the month. That also goes for the people that thanked you.

For those that showed encouragement I thank you!

[forHISglory]

With all due respect.......
Sometimes good solid counsel will not always be what one wants to hear. Sometimes it must be what is hard to hear. Only surrounding oneself with yes-men will not give the advice that is needed.

I cannot pretend to know the motives of those who posted here, but I suspect that they wanted to give you some reality advice. You had many who gave you encouragement, and that is certainly needed. But please don't dismiss those who are taking time to give you some hard facts that need to be examined.

Don't give up, Kellieetter. Many of us here have been in your shoes, and we've lived to tell about it. Don't dismiss our experience. For example, my Hubby had saved up to get me an anniversary gift once. It wasn't roses, but was in a similar category: something that was lovely but wouldn't last. We decided at the last moment that it would be better for both of our consciences to apply that to our electric bill. So we flicked on the lights, said "Happy Anniversary!" and kissed. It wasn't the ideal, but it met our goal.

Take a deep breath, and determine to look around your home, your family, your lifestyle to find a new way. If the old way doesn't work, you need a new approach. FV is all about new approaches: doing things differently, setting different goals, looking at possessions and traditions in a different way. I know you are struggling; all your words and everything in between shout that out. Let me just encourage you to:
1. not give up
2. search for the new and different approach
3. accept advice in the spirit given.

My best to you!

[kellieetter]

Thank you forHisglory, it is not that I am not open to hear the hard reality of truth but when it is not valid that is my problem. I have cut everything out of our lives that I can, I struggle to feed us most nights, so when someone says "Well you bought steaks you must have money" they should ask themselves how did I get them? Every month we take the box we get from Angel Food Min and live off it until the next pick up, that is where I get my steaks and the rest of my food for $30.00.

And as far as my yard my parents who don't have much money themselves helped us out because we would have been in major trouble if we starting getting fined $100 a day (And by the way my yard is super super tiny it basically can't even be called a yard!). And what my husband did for our first year anniv was sweet and amazing, we haven't given any gifts for any holiday in over 2 yrs. so for him to save every penny for roses is just amazing and shows me how lucky I am.

Now knowing this do you think there advice would have been different? Do you think instead of casting a stone they would have said just hang in there? That is the problem I have.

[NewLeaf]

kellieetter, I am where you are now. We are on a tight tight budget and struggling to stay on it. We feel like we have cut back as much as possible- but after looking at some of the advice you were given I am going to look at my budget again. I also get something like Angel Food (mine is called Share).

Here is what I need to do for me :
1. meal plan again (got off track)
2. get the coupons back out and try those again
3. follow grocery sales better than I have been
4. cut down on my driving by planning my errands better
5. work on my stockpile (sale stuff only)
6. see if I can make do before I buy something (ex: I want a shoe rack....)
7. look at the cable,phone,tv and internet and see where I can cut back

It is going to be hard , especially #7 because the kids will be home for the summer. I hate couponing too, but I have a friend who will keep me accountable on that.

Hopefully the garden we put in will help. We are already getting peas....

I think these people here are really just trying to help. Please stay here and keep posting and trying.....

[forHISglory]

Thanks, Kellieetter, for accepting my words so graciously. I was (and am) not familiar with your budgeting and debt structure. Probably others did not know the entire story, either, but were trying to help based on the little information that they had. I probably would not call it casting stones, but I understand that you are pretty tender right now with your situation.

If you would like some very specific advice, you might try posting your budget. I have seen some solid advice come out of these postings. Understand that we still will not know everything about your goals and lifestyle and preferences, but you will be able to sift through the advice and choose what will work for you. For example, is your food budget $30? Do you feed both of you for this amount? Do you supplement that with additional groceries? A breakdown on this will yield several comments about how to perhaps do some changes that will benefit you. If you do spend only $30 on one Angel Food box per month, then I commend you! That is very creative! You could inspire others here on how you do that.

Keep plugging away!