1st DH on board budget results

[ansley]

Church 526/526=0
Mortgage 404/404=0
Electricity 174/179.63=5.63
Water 56/0=56 (we had a credit)(6mo adv, lots of leaks)
Gas 26/15.97=10.03
Phone 76/76
Cable 89.60/89.04=0.56 (DH wants this)
Trash 15.50/15.50=0
Grocery 400/554.30=154.30
Car Payment 243/242.54=0.46
Car Gas 453.57/393.02=60.55 (I was off work 4 days)
Car Insurance 100/99.91=0.09
Car Repairs 0/81.51=81.51 (DH needed a battery)
Doctor Bills 45/0=didn’t get paid
Dentist 45/0=didn’t get paid
Child Care 320/348.09=24.09
Toiletries 151/181.04=30.04
School Supplies 50/91.42=41.42
Blow Money 1 261.25/259.43=1.82 (DH and non-negotiable)
Tools 0/50=50

If I did that right it comes out to be -223.48

There are 5 of us. DH, DS15, DD8, DS2 and DW

[Greebo]

I do not understand what your number system means.

[Greebo]

Is this intended to be:
What we paid / what was owed = difference?

So you paid $500 to your church but didn't pay the medical bills?

I'm fine with tithing, but I'm not fine with tithing when it means you cannot meet your financial obligations to others.

[ansley]

budget/spent=+ or -

DH and I tithed in the beginning and needs were always met somehow. We stopped and things went downhill. We started again and the budget wasn't covered but more from a truck we didn't need, blow money for tabacco products and junk food than from tithing.

Malachi

"6": For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

"7": Even from the days of your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them. Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the LORD of hosts. But ye said, Wherein shall we return?

"8": Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Greebo]

Psalm 37:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4

and
Exodus 20:15


Both of which predate Malachi, so if you want to use O.T. biblical references, here are two older than yours.

And note, I am not saying to stop tithing. I am saying that you need to pay your debts first.

[ansley]

Psalm 37:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4

and
Exodus 20:15


Both of which predate Malachi, so if you want to use O.T. biblical references, here are two older than yours.

And note, I am not saying to stop tithing. I am saying that you need to pay your debts first.

Dentist and hospital bills are still in ins. I was trying to get a head start. Are you saying I should steal from God.

Exodus 20:15 Thou shalt not steal. Bills are not due and if they were I didn't say I was filing bankrupt or just not going to pay.

Psalms 21: The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth. See my response to Exodus 20:15

Ecclesiastes 5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. See response to Exodus 20:15

[ansley]

I expected to get hit hard with the truck, cable, blow, over 100 per person on food but tithing is a religious issue. That would be like me telling a Jewish friend he should work on Saturday (If I remember correctly their holy day) just because I don't believe that way.

[Greebo]

How can you steal from God? Isn't the world his anyway?

Anyway if the Doctor and Dentist bills aren't actually DUE yet, that's a different matter. When you said:

Doctor Bills 45/0=didn’t get paid
Dentist 45/0=didn’t get paid

it sounded like they had bills due that didn't get paid. If they're not due yet, no problem yet.

But you've still got a conflict to resolve - because the Bible says you need to pay your debts. That includes Romans 13:8 (New Testament) which says that a Christian should owe no man anything, btw. That one is indisputable as far as I know, and I am *reasonably* well versed in scripture even though I don't believe in it myself.

So do you disobey God by not paying your debts when they're due or do you disobey him by not tithing the full amount while following his other commandments?

Or you could obey God both ways and cut the blow money...

[Greebo]

I expected to get hit hard with the truck, cable, blow, over 100 per person on food but tithing is a religious issue.

Seems to me your budget has room in it from other places to meet both biblical obligations.

[Nishu]

Your bills aren't getting paid and your husband is demanding 261 in blow money? Always makes me sad to see these things. You guys really need to get on the same page.

Can you borrow tools or put off your projects?

That tithe is kicking your butt. We've been down this road before so I don't think we're going to talk you out of it. Here's what I would do if I were you: I'd keep a tally of what you owe to god. Post it on a notebook paper and put it on the fridge, "What we owe to god." Just keep track of it and pay it off when you have funds available.

Then, set yourself an hourly wage and ask for volunteer opportunities at the church. They probably need people to sit in the nursery, mow the lawn and clean up after hours. Sunday school teachers might need assistants or they might need help preparing for class every week. Maybe the church runs a thrift store than you can help in. You can even put the kids to work doing it. Family time, character building and money saving all at the same time. Pay your debt to God in hard labor and a joyful heart. Talk it over with your church leader if you're uncomfortable with it.

Then, deduct your volunteer work (hours x hourly wage) from your 'debt to God' tally.

That is what I would do.

[Greebo]

That's a pretty good idea, Nishu. After all - Tithing goes back to the days before money where one was giving up one's crops, cattle, etc. to the temple, or making burnt offerings. Nothing says that tithing has to be on a cash basis now, either.

[ansley]

"8": Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

That is how you steal from God.

You are right; we shouldn't have gotten into debt to begin with. A truck I didn't want, a tool bill I didn't know about, a mortgage because we could pay the payments but not rent (it is about 200 more a month to rent a house like ours. 100 more to rent the cheapest that isn't gov. housing) 15,000 medical before ins about 8,000, I hope, after ins that I am glad you can pay out of pocket but I can't.

I would rather steal (seeing as you see late payments with finance fees as stealing) from the medical world that steals from me to pay for deadbeats than to steal from God.

DH will not give up or lower his blow money. I have not had blow money in over 8yrs trying to make sure everything got paid. The one time I had $5 in my wallet; DH took it out to buy his tobacco products.

[Nishu]

Have you looked into marriage counseling? I think some church leaders provide it as a service to their members.

[ansley]

Your bills aren't getting paid and your husband is demanding 261 in blow money? Always makes me sad to see these things. You guys really need to get on the same page.

Can you borrow tools or put off your projects?

That tithe is kicking your butt. We've been down this road before so I don't think we're going to talk you out of it. Here's what I would do if I were you: I'd keep a tally of what you owe to god. Post it on a notebook paper and put it on the fridge, "What we owe to god." Just keep track of it and pay it off when you have funds available.

Then, set yourself an hourly wage and ask for volunteer opportunities at the church. They probably need people to sit in the nursery, mow the lawn and clean up after hours. Sunday school teachers might need assistants or they might need help preparing for class every week. Maybe the church runs a thrift store than you can help in. You can even put the kids to work doing it. Family time, character building and money saving all at the same time. Pay your debt to God in hard labor and a joyful heart. Talk it over with your church leader if you're uncomfortable with it.

Then, deduct your volunteer work (hours x hourly wage) from your 'debt to God' tally.

That is what I would do.

Our church pays for most of that and it is hard to get any spots. Also they are locked in for a year as of business meeting in mid Aug.

DH works on farm equipment and the tools are required. He was an auto mechanic but farm work pays a lot better. Farm work also requires larger tools.

The only project going on right now is the hole in the bathroom that we can't really put off any longer. Winter will be here before we know it and this house stays cold anyway. But I did find out I could just spray the walls down with bleach to kill the mold.

The same page, I'm just glad he actually tried to work with a budget for a month. Usually a few days in and he is bragging about blowing my budget. That, by the way, we worked on together.

[Greebo]

Someone just isn't listening.

Nishu just came up with a FANTASTIC way to make offerings of time.

I pointed out that there is ROOM in your budget to tithe AND pay your debts.

I would rather steal (seeing as you see late payments with finance fees as stealing) from the medical world that steals from me to pay for deadbeats than to steal from God.

DH will not give up or lower his blow money. I have not had blow money in over 8yrs trying to make sure everything got paid. The one time I had $5 in my wallet; DH took it out to buy his tobacco products.

DH's addiction is more important than God's law that commands you to repay your debts to others as well as tithe.

Got it.