Suze Orman isnt always right

**Lora88** · 09-16-2009, 07:25 AM

I was watching a rerun of Suzes show the other day. She was advising a caller that the man she was dating was not the right one for her,. Why? becasue the girl had money and the guy was broke. Started me thinking about Dh and me 23 years ago. I had a house and some money in the bank Dh was literally broke he had exactly 20.00 dollars He had lost his job as he worked for his ex wifes uncle and when the marriage was over there went the job. No car he left it to the exwife for his kids. He had literally some clothes some tools and box full of certified unopened collection letters his ex had hidden from him Not exactly a great prospect from Suzes point of view. However I saw the good kind hardworking man he is and plunged on full speed ahead Many people thoght I was crazy but I knew Love would find a way. Was it hard? you bet we scarifeced plenty raised 6 kids along the way. Fast forward 23 years we have a paid off home 4 cars all paid no debt and money in the bank . If I had listened to Suze and people like her I would have missed out on this wonderful man who is the love of my life. What I am trying to say is money is important but maybe Suze should listen to herself and her "people first then money then things" quote and not be so judgemental people make mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance

**never2late** · 09-16-2009, 08:06 AM

I tried doing it Suze's way years back. She was big on paying yourself first, starting with 401Ks and things like that. I tried, but failed miserably. Sunk deeper in a hole until I found Dave Ramsey last year and his plan has worked wonders for me. I guess to each his own.

**2ndGenGranola** · 09-16-2009, 08:25 AM

I didn't hear her show but I can see her point. As with everything you have to take the whole situation into consideration. In your situation you could see that your DH wasn't a slacker and was more of a victim of the kind of spouse Suzy is warning the caller about.

**Greebo** · 09-16-2009, 08:42 AM

Interesting - I wouldn't want to judge Suze w/o hearing/seeing the segment myself, but it reminds me of a call I heard with Dave and a young woman in a similar circumstance, and Dave was quite clear that he would never judge a suitor for his daughter because of the suitor's situation (ie: having made mistakes) but instead upon the suitor's attitude about the situation.

**Lora88** · 09-16-2009, 10:19 AM

I think what I was trying to say is that people should not be judged by just their Fico score. Life happens and people get into all kinds of bad financial situations thru their own faults or other peoples. But if you are willing to work hard and have faith you can turn those situations around. I just cant see getting rid of someone you love just because hes broke . Has the world come down to only the fiancially fit deserve love? I find the whole idea of that disgusting.

**Contrary Housewife** · 09-16-2009, 10:58 AM

Well, I might not dump someone "just because he is broke" but I would want to have a good hard look at an adult who had nothing to show for himself after a certain number of years. A potential partner who habitually runs out of his paycheck before the week is over and who has no financial sense is going to be a poor choice no matter how kind and loving he is. Fixing that behavior is a tough job, as the hundreds of posts on this website on that topic will attest to.

I think in your case Lora88, your DH wasn't "broke" so much as he was at the end of his rope. He had earned a house and a car, and probably some money and it was taken from him.

**Lora88** · 09-16-2009, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife

Well, I might not dump someone "just because he is broke" but I would want to have a good hard look at an adult who had nothing to show for himself after a certain number of years. A potential partner who habitually runs out of his paycheck before the week is over and who has no financial sense is going to be a poor choice no matter how kind and loving he is. Fixing that behavior is a tough job, as the hundreds of posts on this website on that topic will attest to.

I think in your case Lora88, your DH wasn't "broke" so much as he was at the end of his rope. He had earned a house and a car, and probably some money and it was taken from him.

Not to down my dh but he was broke the car was a junker and he was renting an apt with ex wife The man literally had 20.00 to his name and more past due bills than you can imagine. My whole point was that anyone can turn their life around if they are willing to do the work to do so. You are right when you say fixing that behavior is a tough job.. But Suze Orman did not know this person from a can of corn all she had was his debt information that was what bothered me about the phone call . People dont always have alot of money to offer you but can offer themselves and in my humble opinion that can be worth considerbly more

**littleplum** · 09-16-2009, 12:49 PM

It would really depend on WHY he was broke. It sounds like in your husband's case, it was a circumstance that wasn't entirely of his making. It's not as though he refused to work and just went out and ran up a bunch of debt. Divorce often destroys finances, either as a contributing factor to the divorce, or due to finances being neglected during the dissolution.

But, yeah, I'm glad my husband didn't make me pay off all my debt before we married! We'd have been engaged until 2014!

(not really - we're almost done paying off all of OUR debt!)

**littleplum** · 09-16-2009, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by Lora88

Not to down my dh but he was broke the car was a junker and he was renting an apt with ex wife The man literally had 20.00 to his name and more past due bills than you can imagine. My whole point was that anyone can turn their life around if they are willing to do the work to do so. You are right when you say fixing that behavior is a tough job.. But Suze Orman did not know this person from a can of corn all she had was his debt information that was what bothered me about the phone call . People dont always have alot of money to offer you but can offer themselves and in my humble opinion that can be worth considerbly more

In defense of Suze a little bit - it bothered the caller enough that she sat on hold to ask a stranger on national television if she should marry him. If someone asked me if they should marry a certain person, I would tell them no, no matter what the particular situation was. If you can't make the decision on your own to marry or not, you aren't ready, IMO.

**Jamauk** · 09-16-2009, 04:53 PM

In my opinion, Suze is rarely right. I just don't care for her or the tone she takes with women. She claims to be "helping" women, but if you listen closely, you hear a lot of her prejudices and realize that what she is actually doing is talking DOWN to women. I don't like her.

**annymoll** · 09-16-2009, 08:21 PM

I do not know what Suze has to say. I have never listened to her. I would never marry a man who was broke.I do not like the idea of going into a marriage with this type of difficulty. I would postpone a marriage until the financial situation was better.Of course, that is my own opinion. We all must do as we see best.

**northernmom2boys** · 09-16-2009, 10:18 PM

I dont have a long winded post
I just cant stand her voice ahhh lol

**craftypam** · 09-16-2009, 10:28 PM

You were lucky enough that the person you married was interested in changing. There is a saying; the predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

**Nishu** · 09-16-2009, 10:56 PM

Originally Posted by northernmom2boys

I dont have a long winded post
I just cant stand her voice ahhh lol

Thanks.

My husband was broke and we were both horrible at managing money at the time. He had already had one credit card maxed and paid off by his grandma, and a student loan that was in default. We made a great pair.

At this point in my life though, I wouldn't marry someone who's broke. I don't intend to ever be broke again, and marrying someone who can't manage their money would just be shooting myself in the foot.