Which infidelity is worse? Financial or physical?

**Greebo** · 03-18-2010, 01:55 PM

Heard an interesting and somewhat surprising statistic today on an older Dave Ramsey podcast (2/23/2010 - hour 2 - 20 minutes in)

2005 study from Harris Interactive commissioned by Redbook:
Nearly 25% of married or engaged adults believe that openness about money is more important than sexual fidelity.

"It's one thing to fool around, it's another to fool around with my hard earned cash."

I'd personally put them at about equal - but what does FV think?

**IntlMom** · 03-18-2010, 01:59 PM

I voted, but this is an easy one.

Physical. End of story.

It's too intimate and too personal.....money is just money.

**Greebo** · 03-18-2010, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by IntlMom

I voted, but this is an easy one.

Physical. End of story.

It's too intimate and too personal.....money is just money.

I have to wonder, based on the answers, how many of the respondents at Redbook were men.

**ladykemma2** · 03-18-2010, 02:29 PM

as someone who divorced her spouse because of sexual infidelity, i'd say sexual.

**stinkbug** · 03-18-2010, 02:50 PM

I divorced my ex because of his spending.....among other things, but that was at the top of my list. He has filed BR twice since....and doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in. Struggling with no support as a single parent was easier than being married to him!

**daughter of pearl** · 03-18-2010, 03:05 PM

Financial. Absolutely.

And by infidelity, I don't mean "has different spending/saving habits than mine", I mean duplicity or dishonesty.

Lived with a gambler for a number of years, asked all the right questions, got a pack of lies, and am still rebuilding almost 6 years later.

Definitely, definitely financial.

**krbshappy71** · 03-18-2010, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

as someone who divorced her spouse because of sexual infidelity, i'd say sexual.

Ditto. We were poor as dirt but I was willing to hang in there until that happened. He purchased things without asking, rang up credit without asking, but none of that "infidelity" hit me to the soul like the sexual infidelity.

It wasn't the last straw, it was the only straw needed. I don't put up with that in my life.

**ktsmama** · 03-18-2010, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by IntlMom

I voted, but this is an easy one.

Physical. End of story.

It's too intimate and too personal.....money is just money.

This is exactly how I feel! Normally you don't die over money, but after an sexual infidelity you are apt to get any number of non curable diseases.

**ktsmama** · 03-18-2010, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

Ditto. We were poor as dirt but I was willing to hang in there until that happened. He purchased things without asking, rang up credit without asking, but none of that "infidelity" hit me to the soul like the sexual infidelity.

It wasn't the last straw, it was the only straw needed. I don't put up with that in my life.

Are you sure you were not married to ********. LOL Sounds just like my ex. We divorced for the same reason.

**ncarr** · 03-18-2010, 03:33 PM

I think they are equally important. i could not live with someone who betrayed me period.

**monkeywrangler71** · 03-18-2010, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by stinkbug

I divorced my ex because of his spending.....among other things, but that was at the top of my list. He has filed BR twice since....and doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in. Struggling with no support as a single parent was easier than being married to him!

Same here.

I can handle being poor and struggling to get by, but I can not be with someone who holds my head under water when I'm already drowning.

I have a tremendous amount of anxiety regarding finances, so I would consider financial infidelity to be a deliberate attempt to hurt me where I am most vunerable.

I wouldn't want my husband to cheat on me of course, but I would be more likely to attribute that to weakness rather than malice.

**Mom2-3** · 03-18-2010, 04:17 PM

I think they are both important. That being said, I could make it work with financial infidelity. I would not live with sexual infidelity.

**mauimagic** · 03-18-2010, 04:38 PM

Totally agree with Mom2-3.

Interesting question - Had an off the top of my head answer - sexual infidelity of course, but then when I thought more about it - they both count.

**janeysaurus** · 03-18-2010, 05:35 PM

I can live with sexual infidelity, whether a one off or a full-blown affair. Financial infidelity can screw me over in so many ways for a very long time, especially if married. It'd potentially take years and years to recover, whereas if someone I was with merely cheated sexually, it's easy enough to leave and forget.

If the economy was structured differently where money and credit didn't have such intimate, lasting ties to how we live, then sure, I can see sexual infidelity being worse.