XDH, VA and DS' SS#

[ansley]

My XDH is retired national guard and not old enough to get his military retirement. He has been retired for about 1yr and now wants DS' SS# to fill out some VA papers. I know he has been trying to get military disability for about 2yrs but I don't know if that has anything to do with this. I have physical custody and get to claim DS on my taxes. X got mad at me a few yrs ago when I caught him telling me a half truth and called him out on it. Now he will not answer my phone calls. I found out about the SS# business because he text our son and DS had to ask me what his SS# is.

Does anyone have any idea why he might want DS' SS#? He got 2 credit cards in my name right before we divorced and I just don't trust him.

[beks37]

If your XDH won't talk to you, but to your son...have your son ask him what he needs it for. Maybe he'll tell your son the reason. If you two are on the outs, then sharing your son's SS# may be dangerous. He can use that to file on his taxes and if he files first, he gets the credit. Then you would have to fight it out with the IRS. I hope you can find out the reason!!

[Russ]

I'm not suggesting you give it to him, but doesn't he have the right to know this?

[MomToTwoBoys]

Is there actually anything wrong with him to warrant filing for military disability? If he had an honorable discharge with no other ailments, they won't give him disability at all. I had an honorable discharge, but I also was on light duty and had two surgeries while in the Corps that guaranteed me 30% disability. Still, it didn't take two years to get it.

I would also have DS ask your X what the # is being used for. I wouldn't give it to him, especially if he has a history of abusing other people's identities to get what he wanted.

[ansley]

beks37, I don't want to put DS in the middle. I have a court order stating I claim ds. After the CC deal, I have no problem taking him to court over it.

Russ, why does he need it? If he needs it I don't have a problem in the world giving it to him. DS is in school, taken the act and has his driver's permit. It is on file with the military as X's DS. I don't see needing it again anytime soon.

MomToTwoBoys, X hurt his knee during Desert Shield Desert Storm but if I remember correctly he hurt the same knee on the job he had back then. My understanding was he wasn't approved on the knee then he start in about his hip. He has been big into martial arts the past few yrs. So, I don't think his knee and hip can be that bad but that’s an uneducated opinion. He has tried to get one over on the military before and was told he was lucky they didn't do anything about it but stop the housing pay. I thought that may hold up the disability as they would be looking at him closer.

When he text ds he said it was to fill out a VA form. Of course there are benefits X may qualify for, like he may be trying to get a VA loan or money for school but I wouldn't think he would need DS' SS# for that.

[McD]

A VA form could be many things, not just related to disability. For instance, the GI bill is ran through the VA as well. Due to the changes in the GI bill that make educational benefits transferrable to dependents in certain situations, the form may ask for the soc. That's just one scenario.

On the VA website, there are 16 pages of various forms. If you are interested in looking at some of the forms, they are available here. It may be beneficial for youto look over the forms, especially if you can fidn out the form that ex-dh is filling out, so you feel more secure in giving him the soc.

[nancycg56]

I don't think he would need your son's SS# even if he WAS claiming disability, would he? It seems really weird to me and I wouldn't give up the number without knowing EXACTLY why he needs it.

[ansley]

I only mentioned disability because that is the only thing I know of that he is working on. I can't get CS from military disability so I don't see why they would up his amount on a non custodial child. So why would they want the SS# and why can't they get it from his military records? I know X and his DW were looking to buy a house (VA loan) but he wouldn't need DS' SS# for that. The GI bill, as of 1998, he had used his allotted amount but I know it could have been upped since then. If he were going back to school he wouldn't need DS' SS# and DS is only in the 9th grade and not sure where he wants to go.

I talked to a retired MP but he said he couldn't help much because he thought NG got the same benefits as the full timers, they don't.

[McD]

The military and VA records don't coincide as much as you may think. When I go to my bank to fill out a loan app, I still have to write my name, dob, social, etc on the paper application so that they have a verification of it, as well as my signature even though they already have it because they have all of our accounts. But that way, if I provided fraudulent info to them on that app, they have a dated, signed signature on the app they can come back on.

The VA is the same way. As a former soldier, they have my social, but when I started using my GI bill, I had to put my social down on the enrollment form.

As to what he form he is doing and why, I can't tell you. I would really stronly urge you to either talk to the ex if possible, or have the son prompt him for more info. If you haven't, take a look at the link I posted that has all sorts of VA forms listed. Something may pop out at you as something that could be applicable to your ex.

[ansley]

I did look at the link and I didn't see where it stated what the forms were for, just the form name and the questions you would expect on most forms (Name, address, DOB, etc). Most of what I looked at also seemed (but did not state) to be for full timers or current military.

I have seen DC torn apart by parents bickering and I don't want DS in the middle but I also don't want him on the hook for a VA loan. I know he could fight it but he would have to file charges on his dad (or cause charges to be brought) or just pay it so he wouldn't have to. X will not answer my phone calls and gets all pi**ed if I question his "word", when I do talk to him.

I mostly ask the question so that I have some idea of what he can and can’t do. He has pulled one over on me several times because I know nothing about the military (ex: the military will not take CS out of my (his) check. The military will not put DS on tricare (military insurance) and etc.).

[ansley]

I did look at the link and I didn't see where it stated what the forms were for, just the form name and the questions you would expect on most forms (Name, address, DOB, etc). Most of what I looked at also seemed (but did not state) to be for full timers or current military.

I have seen DC torn apart by parents bickering and I don't want DS in the middle but I also don't want him on the hook for a VA loan. I know he could fight it but he would have to file charges on his dad (or cause charges to be brought) or just pay it so he wouldn't have to. X will not answer my phone calls and gets all pi**ed if I question his "word", when I do talk to him.

I mostly ask the question so that I have some idea of what he can and can’t do. He has pulled one over on me several times because I know nothing about the military (ex: the military will not take CS out of my (his) check. The military will not put DS on tricare (military insurance) and etc.).

ETA: I just called family support, he said there is a new tricare bill that was being voted on but he wasn't sure if it had been passed yet or that included dependents. He also said that seeing as DS is already in DEERS he couldn't think of anything else.

[McD]

I get what you are saying ansley, and I think it's very admirable of you to keep your son out of the middle of it. That's really hard to do sometimes.

How old is your son? The reason I ask is because if he is a minor, he cannot be responsible for ANY debt (that's why banks require cosigners on checking accounts, car loans, etc). Loans that are backed by the VA are generally held to a higher standard by the VA because of their investment. I cannot imagine them allowing a minor to be a cosigner or a primary on a loan.

And as I mentioned earlier, even though the VA and the military already have the info in their records, the forms are still required to be filled out with all the information again for legal purposes.

[ansley]

Okay, I broke down and called VA. The only thing he may need DS' SS# for is the disability. He will get an extra $168 for each child. He is still responsible for CS but the disability cannot be garnished so it is up to him to pay it. DS should get tricare. Now I have to find out what drs take it and how that works.

[McD]

That is awesome news! I was actually coming to look for this thread to suggest that you call them, to at least make them aware that there is a possibility your ex will be sheisty with your son's soc.

I have always had fabulous experiences with TriCare. The one time I didn't have a good experience, I was able to get it resolved immediately.

This might help you:
TriCare Website

[ansley]

I get what you are saying ansley, and I think it's very admirable of you to keep your son out of the middle of it. That's really hard to do sometimes.

How old is your son? The reason I ask is because if he is a minor, he cannot be responsible for ANY debt (that's why banks require cosigners on checking accounts, car loans, etc). Loans that are backed by the VA are generally held to a higher standard by the VA because of their investment. I cannot imagine them allowing a minor to be a cosigner or a primary on a loan.

And as I mentioned earlier, even though the VA and the military already have the info in their records, the forms are still required to be filled out with all the information again for legal purposes.

DS is almost 16 but 2 times I have heard on the DR show of parents using their underage dc's ss # to get houses, autos, loans, utilities and etc. Just because DS is 15 doesn't mean X can't abuse the SS#. He supposedly still loved me and wanted our marriage to work when he got the cards in my name and maxed them out on baseball cards. I just don't trust him.

It is good news for him. He gets an extra $168 a month and it will make it harder for me to get Child support. We have made it 12yrs without tricare so I don't see that as worth trading CS.