Private School for the kids.

[brocket]

I'm new to the forum and have my own opinions on education, but am in an interesting position regarding our child who is about to enter kindergarten in a year.

It is very common for our friends and neighbors to send their kids to private school. The cost can range from $650/mo to $2400/mo.

My wife happens to be a teacher at one of the private schools which offers a small discount at about $550.00/mo.

I feel some pressure to send him there, but I am also of the opinion that we should support our public schools and hopefully help make them the best they can be with out own support.

Anyone else face this social and financial pressure? I am also not fond of the idea of spending $550/mo for 8 years, as it would equate to a minimum of $48k, which could fund an entire college education.

Opinions?

[thesightofoneself]

"we make our own choices, we pay our own prices." - bound

if its what you want, then try it

things change all the time so what you choose now might change later

i got a decend education from public schools and community colleges. for free
but my education was from ny not fl. here, homeschool. sry.
state by state does make a difference

[Luckybustert]

I think you often get what you pay for and education is no exception. I don't have children in school anymore, but I do not feel they received an adequate education in the public school system when they attended. My personal opinion (and that's all it is, my personal opinion) is that most public schools are little more than day care services. Notice I said most, not all. I'm sure there are exceptions but my family wasn't lucky enough to encounter them. Even when I attended a public high school back in the late 70s, I saw so many teenagers who couldn't even read just being passed through to the next grade because no one wanted to deal with it.

I went back to school a few years ago and opted to attend a private university. It was extremely expensive, but having been to both private and public schools, I'm very glad I made the choice I did. The private school I attended focused on becoming successful in the business world, whereas the public schools I attended focused more on indoctrinating students into certain political and social viewpoints. I know which puts more food on the table in the long run, and I really didn't feel the need to be indoctrinated into any particular political or social view.

Your experience may differ. I realize there are some very good teachers in the public schools.

[bumplett]

We choose to send our kids to private school

We make this choice for our children, not for our friends, family or neighbors.

This should never be about what's "expected" of you - it should be about what's BEST for your children.

IF you are comfortable with the public schools in your area, good.

IF not, there are other options - private or homeschool.

good luck with whatever you decide.

[TigerGirl1226]

Our DD will be attending private, parochial school in the fall. My BIL's kids go to public school. They live about an hour away. For us the difference is that they have quality public education and for them to get to private school about be at least a half hour drive. For us, the private school is quite literally 2 blocks away. DD will go there from P-3 until 8th grade. I just like the stability of it. No changing schools when you get to certain grade. Here different public schools have different color uniforms and the private school has the same uniform throughout.

Like everyone else has said, it is an extremely personal choice, but for us it has been private school.

PS I graduated from a public high school (just for the sake of full disclosure)

[MomToTwoBoys]

I think it all depends on the state of the public schools in your area. A lot of parents have their own reasons for sending their children to either public or private school, whether it be for the child's sake or for the parents' sake.

I find that the public school system here in Calgary is tons better than the public school system where I grew up at in NY State. I had thought of sending my child to a charter school (private school, if you want to call it that) because we pay half of our taxes to public and half to private.

That being said, I'd take a look at how the public school curriculum is structured and what the teacher's credentials are. I'd talk to the principal(s) of the school(s) in your area and find out what the school's record is as far as state exam scores, individual assessments, etc. In other words, a background check into what your child would be experiencing for eight/nine hours a day is not a bad thing to help make this decision easier for you.

Private school is not for everyone and neither is public school. The parents' level of proactivity in their child's education is a big helping tool in making that child's learning experience either that much better or worse.

I went to public school. DH went to private school. DS6 is finishing first grade with a fifth grade reading level and DS11 is finishing up his last year of primary school in a specialized program (that you wouldn't normally get in the US unless you paid through the nose for it).

I think what it all comes down to is what's best for your child. It's not what others think is best nor is it what you think is good in keeping with the social standing in your neighborhood. Peer pressure isn't a good way to guide your hand in deciding what your child's future should be structured as.

[Lady_V]

It comes down to ... what do you BOTH want to do?

My DD went to public for kindergarten and first grade (the first time). That particular school failed in my eyes. Long, long story there. In short, they weren't helping her with her LD, they were telling her to copy her neighbors papers. The classes were too big 28:1

She went to Catholic school first grade (second time around) through the end of November third grade. The education was above in some places, but unfortunately lacked in others. The class size was smaller 16:1, but she was still lost in the herd in third grade.

I home-schooled third grade (Dec-Apr). In that short time I was able to catch her up to her grade level in math, and pushed beyond in art, music, cursive, reading and grammar.

She is finishing her third grade year in a private school (and will stay here until she moves on to another private school in jr. high). Her class is 10:1 and she is happy here.

I had a battle royal with my ex when I wanted to home-school, so being on the same page with the other parent is crucial.

Don't give in to social pressure... but don't send to public school just because you think it's 'supporting' them, they get your tax money anyways.

[frugal is fun]

I would have loved to send my son to private school however I just plain out can't afford it.

But like everyone said, its your decision, not your neighbors.

[McD]

I've actually been considering private school for the kids for a number of reasons. My concern is the religious aspect of private schools. Are there private schools not affiliated with religion? Or do the two go hand in hand/?

[ml2620]

My uncle always said when you pay for a private education, you are buying your child a peer group, and that is true. The parents and kids at my (Catholic) school tended to be on the same page as my parents with regards to values, rules and restrictions.

If you've got a good school system with good teachers and good kids from fairly stable homes, I say public school all the way. You can supplement your child's education with trips, tutors and cultural events with the money you "save" on tuition (of course, you've already paid it in your taxes).

A couple of things to think about.

1) Will your child go to public high school? 12-14 years old is a tough time to transition to public school and develop a new peer group. I think it's better to get your child in socially at the beginning by starting them with the same group of kids they will go to school with all the way.

2) That said, if my kid got into a bad crowd or needed a fresh start socially, I wouldn't hesitate to pull them out of public school and put them in private school. I don't know that pulling them out of private school to put them in public school ever solved a rebellion or other troubled-teen variety problems.

[mommy4ever]

I would say, you need to decide based on the schools around you. Are the public schools providing a good education? If so, are you both ok with doing it? Can you AFFORD private school?

I am in Canada, we have public, separate(francophone, Catholic), charter and private.I have 4 kids. Private is well beyond our means, as is charter. I have had 3 in the Catholic and 1 in public. I am not thrilled with either set of schools they've attended. My eldest is now in a Jr/Sr high school that I am very happy with with. It is a cross between public and charter. Fees are $200 for the year but you need to interview as some of the programs require a lot of focus. They are strict on bullying and any misbehavior, the teachers that are there WANT to be there, they have a passion for teaching and it makes a world of difference in the quality of education. Not only do I get a call when ds has been a bonehead and done something wrong, I have received calls because they want to let me know what a nice young man my son is. The teachers have always returned a call when I had concerns, the counselor is amazing and the kids lover her.

Where dd13 is in a school that has an onsite officer with high instance of bullying by not only the kids but teachers. For her, it doesn't affect her, the teachers either love her, or she is under the radar, and as an honor student, they don't single her out. She is also a little girl that radiates self confidence, as eccentric or eclectic in her choice of clothing or friends, no one bothers her.

The Catholic school my younger 2 were attending disintegrated under the last 2 principals. The teaching and students became very low. We have pulled the 2 younger kids and are homeschooling, where they are thriving. I did look at the charter schools, but I can provide them with a wonderful home education for a small fraction of the cost of the charter.

So in the end, it needs to come down to a dialogue between you and your spouse, to see what each of you expects of the children's education. Then investigate your options to see what is the best fit. There are some phenomenal public schools out there just as their our some horrid ones. I wouldn't put my children at risk to support the public in a school that didn't meet my standards or safety expectations. It is a catch 22. If we don't support it, it won't improve, but as it stands a child may be at risk in that system if we do support it. I know here, in my city, my country, there needs to be some major reforms in how it is run, education period needs to be reviewed.

[ladykemma2]

public schools ain't gonna kill 'em.

unless the schools are scary or dangerous. go take a walk around, go talk to the teachers and the principal.

i am a public school teacher in an inner city school. i would allow my kids to go there as long as they were in advanced, pre-AP, honors, or AP classes. no regular curriculum or associating with the losers.

one thing that is interesting about my school is that if you (I, we, they) are not careful, you will pick up the lower class manner of speech. this is alarming, especially if the child is expected to function in a more upper class society later. the minute my kid says "that's mines", that's it, we're done.

[Greebo]

I've actually been considering private school for the kids for a number of reasons. My concern is the religious aspect of private schools. Are there private schools not affiliated with religion? Or do the two go hand in hand/?

No - you can find non-religious private schools.

[Greebo]

It is very common for our friends and neighbors to send their kids to private school. The cost can range from $650/mo to $2400/mo.

Good for them.

My wife happens to be a teacher at one of the private schools which offers a small discount at about $550.00/mo.

So the bottom line would be what?

I feel some pressure to send him there, but I am also of the opinion that we should support our public schools and hopefully help make them the best they can be with out own support.

You don't get a choice on supporting them - you support public schools whether you want to or not.

As for what you should do - if you can AFFORD IT, without going into debt, and without staying in debt, and you can put aside money for retirement and have a growing emergency fund, knock yourself out.

Otherwise, you do what's right for YOUR family's financial future, and the neighbors can pound sand. The ones worth keeping will understand your choices.

[MomToTwoBoys]

public schools ain't gonna kill 'em.

unless the schools are scary or dangerous. go take a walk around, go talk to the teachers and the principal.

i am a public school teacher in an inner city school. i would allow my kids to go there as long as they were in advanced, pre-AP, honors, or AP classes. no regular curriculum or associating with the losers.

one thing that is interesting about my school is that if you (I, we, they) are not careful, you will pick up the lower class manner of speech. this is alarming, especially if the child is expected to function in a more upper class society later. the minute my kid says "that's mines", that's it, we're done.

This was honestly one of the reasons that DH wanted to put DS6 in a charter/Catholic jr/sr high school when he gets done with primary. He's concerned with the bullying and clique groups in some of the public high schools here. DS6 is really good at making friends, but doesn't take well to someone bullying him around or bossing him. It makes him act out and concerns his teacher, his AP, his principal and myself/DH. DH didn't go to high school in Calgary, but a lot of the kids that I have seen around are pretty foulmouthed and disrespectful.

I know some kids have a harder time transitioning to a different school and with DS6, we're certain that when the time comes that it will not be an issue. I didn't have a hard time because I made friends pretty fast, but I was also bullied.

For DS11, it was suggested that we go to both jr/sr high schools that are on the table for his autism program just to see how the schools are. With his disability, my concern is that he'll be ridiculed by kids that don't really understand. I don't think it's a matter of shielding him from that. It's a matter of keeping my own sanity in order.

I went to public school and hung out with kids that spoke in urban speak and lived in the projects. I grew up in the projects. While I've become well-adjusted and actually dropped a lot of qualities that I gained while being in that crowd of friends, I'm actually glad I was. It taught me a lot more street wise and credibility than if I had hung out with the AP kids.