Help I am so frustrated....vent

[hollyhill]

Will everything just STOP so I can get a handle on this!

WE started in about 20,000 debt when Dh lost his job and returned to school, we started to dig ourselves out of debt and gradually got it to under $10,000.... but as hard as I am trying to get rid of it entirely, emergencies keep happening. I use up the emergency fund and then some, making the debt hit 10,000 again. I am SO FRUSTRATED!!!!

I never end up with savings... and it feels like we are barely managing.


Some of the emergencies have been everything from medical issues, to needing a new hot water heater, to fixing the roof, to a daughter staring college (I know not an emergency but with no savings it might as well be... Dh spent all the kids education funds on his own education. It was necessary but still...)

So what do I do.
I have sold everything. Am as frugal as a church mouse.
I work, get laid off, work... etc.
Dh works, gets his hours cut back, works....
I don't work full time because I have to be available for all the emergencies that keep happening for my diabetic daughter. Dh blames me, (and her), it is just becoming ugly and emotional.

I need about $600 more a month, to get ahead, have some savings etc... and put extra aside for my daughters increasing medical costs. She is on an insulin that isn't covered right now... So another $150 per month.
Any ideas? I haven't tried e-bay or any work at home things, it has to be flexible to work with my job etc.
Of course the more I work the less time I have to be uber frugal (and be here)and it seems like I am trying to run down an up esculator. Dh isn't very helpful with my daughter or household anything...I have given up trying to change him (I know you can't change anyone etc etc).

I am just so frustrated, I am crying. Since my Dh lost his job 6 years ago and retrained we have never been able to get on solid ground again. Of course we now have 3 kids aged 13-19, and type 1 diabetes in my youngest daughter which we didn't have before. And what is covered by pharmacare is so restrictive. Only the most basic of supplies...the rest that may work better for her is out of our own pocket.
It is hard for us. But will be for her too, when she becomes an adult.

Help....

[nodmicks]

Holly I am so sorry you are going through this. I just want to offer you a big cyber hug!!!! I might get shot for saying this but if you can't bring in more cash I might let the debt sit on the back burner. I mean if you need that $ for monthly expenses to live you just need it. Is any of the debt things you can possibly get smaller settlement offers on?

I also understand the more you work the less frugal you have time too be. Same issue for me. The more I'm gone the more our costs go up. I do not know what to say about your dh blaming you and DD besides he needs to get a grip!!!!! His attitude is not right.

Hang in there Holly and I hope someone wiser than myself has some great advice.

[KimZ]

I don't know much about Canada but is there any type of program out there to help with the medical - like here in Florida we have Kid Care... I think it is based on income: Florida KidCare

Your daughter is college age... can she not help with her own expenses? Loans, Grants, Scholarships etc?

Do you have any gold/silver lurking around the house? I work for a Jewelry store and we buy that stuff all day long.

Food Do you have anything like Angel Ministries? Welcomespam! It is better fried than typed- Angel Food Ministries

Actually I just answered my own question....

here's a link and they have some of Canada on there :-)

https://www.angelfoodministries.com/hosts.asp

[hollyhill]

College daughter does pay as much as she can for her expenses. All books, travel and extras. She received scholarships and so our own cost ended up a measly $1470... but because we are living with so little extra.. it goes on our line of credit.

No all our debt is line of credit. No credit cards.

Pharmacare helps here, but not for everything. For instance they don't cover the third type of insulin she is on (it is considered a "nicety") which we found essential for her during the night, other wise she crashes and goes low. WE would like her to go on an insulin pump. Our government would pay most of it (our cost would be about $1000) but pharmacare doesn't pay for the monthly supplies. About $250 a month compared to about $80 we pay now for syringes and pen tip needles. Also our blood sugar testing strips would go up too.

I find if I don't pay down on the line of credit... another emergency comes along and it goes higher!! Any ideas how to get off of that roller coaster??? Put everything into a larger emergency fund... and pay from that?

Part of the trouble is my daughter often needs help at night, with extra testing food etc... so I am sleep deprived to boot (had one of those nights last night... which is why I am so teary eyed). I am exhausted.

[frugalwarrior2]

Holly sorry to hear your struggling again. Hugs at ya. We were caught in the same cycle due to DH's medical debt. We took the D.R. course and it helped immensely. We ended up cashing in a whole life policy we'd had for 20+ years but still have no FEF. WE just started paying DD's cosmetology school and Ins. as there are NO jobs here. That was an unexpected $2600. for Nail Tech. as she couldn't hack college.
The only thing I can tell you is write it all out and make the best plan you can,get some sleep and cut yourself some slack. This is a crazy time. Hug again.

[lotsadebt]

Have you contacted the Juvenile Diabetes Assoc.? Maybe they can turn you in the direction of some grant/assistance/research studies that will help pay for the cost of supplies. I know that there are newer pumps being studied,and ones that are now being used in the general population that self monitor glucose levels and either give and alert or self adjust insuling pumped in.
Call some of the pump manufacturers yourself.

I work in medicine and see these pumps daily I know they are expensive, but I know there are alot out there that get paid for by manufacturers/drug companies.

[nodmicks]

Awww more hugs Holly! I might not quite be getting this all right as I'm a bit sleep deprived myself the 3+ weeks so if I'm mixing this up forgive me. I buy 99% of my testing supplies like strips, lancets etc in bulk off of Ebay as it is much cheaper for me rather than paying my part after the ins co pays.

I'm not really sure what exactly a line of credit is. Is it tied to your house etc?

I have made some extra cash in my spare time doing surveys etc. One company has paid me out a few $100-$150 surveys all having to do with diabetes that have taken about an hour a day over a week or so. I can't think of the company off hand but I will give you the name once I get another email or check since they have all been about diabetes.


Edit:
dug through some deleted email one is focus forward online. The other just looked up but it is a USA members only site. The FFO has paid me out as much as $50 for an online diabetes focus study that was only 90 min

[mslolsalot]

I'm sorry you're struggling, Holly. It really sounds like the bigger issue is the lack of help and support. That's a tough one to deal with.

I know this is not likely a popular suggestion, but does your daughter qualify for student loans? It may just be the reality that you can't afford to pay for her tuition right now. I had student loans and I survived. It's not bad if you don't use them to pay for living expenses- and if you are in a better financial position after she graduates, you could help her pay the loans then. Just a thought.

I second the comment about contacting the Diabetes foundations/pharmaceutical companies. No one should be in financial hardship because they have an illness. There has to be some resource to tap into for that.

I have little to offer int eh way of suggestions, but I hope you can carve a small amount of "me time" out of your day to relax and help with the stress. GL!

[hollyhill]

Rodmicks if you ever get anymore of those surveys.. let me know!

In BC,Canada the pump is paid for by the government minus what is still left on your pharmacare minimum. The problem is the costs of the insets and supplies are not covered and are way more expensive than syringes. My daughter has been diagnosed for just over a year and is not stable and not a candidate for the studies which are catering to those who have had diabetes for longer and are young adults.

[Momto5RN]

i am sorry

if it helps any to know you are not alone- for 7 years we used credit etc when i was first dx with my fibromyalgia and unable to work. now i am working and trying to pay it all off- i have been working as much as i physically can without setting myself back and paying stuff down and just got hit with a dental issue that will run me about 3 grand

so for next few months all my working $ will be going to teeth issues and i cant physically do anymore than i am . so nothing will get paid down .

have you thought about doing childcare in your home ?
you could always take a child with you to go get your dd at school etc and if she is at home for a day due to medical issues its not like its a contagious thing the other parents would worry about .

what are your dhs hours ? does he know how to test the blood etc because he should in case there is ever an emergency and he needs to -this shouldnt be something you manage while he watches - can you work a few hours in evening at a retail store ??


have you looked into which glucometer has the cheapest strips- i know the ones that are newest and tend to be the freebes the hospitals had out or you can get free after rebate tend to also have the most $$ strips the maker of the glcuomter hopes to get you to take their and then their strips and testing supplies are used and cost alot.

to be honest if you are testing her BS for you you really dont need a pen and fancy lancets for sticking her and can use any lancets they usually use the pens so people dont flinch back when they are sticking themselves - they are a realatively new invention 20 years ago you just used a lancet to stick yourself.

[krbshappy71]

Is there Craig's List for your area?

If so, watch the Part Time and ETC jobs. Also watch the FREE section, some of the items people just don't want to deal with selling, you can pick up items for free and resell them.

I don't know how good of a neighborhood you are in, but I am able to list things for sale, put them on my porch, and come home to money. People have been very honest paying for their items and it keeps me from having to do a "meet & greet" every time.

This wont bring in the $600 you need each month, but can help out with the small stuff through the month.

Is there Freecycle group in your area? I just received 3 boxes of non-perishable food from a fellow neighbor. I don't care for going to a food pantry but I don't mind getting food this way from other people. I didn't put out a request for the food, I just watched the different offers through email and replied when someone offered it. I got chosen which will greatly help with food this month, then I re-offered the items I didn't need or wouldn't use. (which were picked up promptly by another person)

Just a thought, the more email groups of free stuff you can find and manage the better luck you may have at stretching things so you don't need that extra money. (for instance, I'm dipping into my food budget this month because I received that extra food and I had some medical bills arrive) IT ALL HELPS.

[shoiji]

I would also try looking into support groups for children with diabetes. Many times they have lots of information and where to get help with equipment or medications. Check with a local hospital or health care organization. Even clinics if you guys have them may be of assistance.

See if you can find the manufacturer name of the test strips and supplies. Many times they will supply free products.

Hope you find some help.

Try to hang in there with the financial situation. It always seems to be the worst before things get better. Believe me things do get better. Many of us here can tell you that and have been in similar situations.

[Sophia]

Hugs to you. Check to see if you have Liberty medical there you can look it up on line. My son is also type 1 diabetic and is now on an insulin pump. He had just turned 8 years old when he became a diabetic. He will be 19 next mth. I know how you feel not getting the sleep you need and all the expense and the worry about your daughters health. A lot of times with Liberty (depending on your insurance) you can get free supplies from them. Sending big hugs to you.

[nodmicks]

Holly I will. I had to pass a good one up recently as i was flying out of state.

[3tomboys]

I noticed that this was already offered, but I would contact the manufacturer of the medications, strips, etc. They often have programs to help in financial situations. Also, give you doctors office a call, they often have information on where you can get aide from support groups and manufacturers. you might also check there websites. I just got a coupon for 1 of the medications my husband is on for $15.00 off of the insurance copay. You might also check with local churches in your area to see if they have any meetings where they need babysitting. I did this when my dd's were little to earn a little extra and my kids got to play with other kids. It was only a few hours a week, but it did help and was not a big comittment on my part. I also picked up several babysitting jobs here there from the mothers outside of the church function. Hugs to you and your family while you are going through this.