"wedding loans" is this for real?

**Squidge** · 03-09-2011, 05:14 PM

Oh dear. I think it's such a shame that, often times, a couple can feel under pressure to have a huge, blow-out wedding because it's the "thing to do". What an unnecessary financial stress to put on newlyweds

I have a colleague who is having three - yes, three - separate wedding ceremonies; one in her home country, one in her parents' home country and one in her husband's home country. It's what they really want, so I'm impressed they are going for it and making it happen, but I can only imagine the cost.

**mndtrp** · 03-10-2011, 07:52 PM

Planning and being in one wedding was more than enough, I can't imagine doing 3.

**Libby** · 03-10-2011, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by AnnK

Way to start things off right, WITH LOADS OF SENSELESS DEBT. UGH

Amen sister! Don't most couples try to get rid of debt before they get married??? I certainly don't want to clear any debt to rack it back up especially over 5 hours in one day.

Originally Posted by Squidge

I have a colleague who is having three - yes, three - separate wedding ceremonies; one in her home country, one in her parents' home country and one in her husband's home country. It's what they really want, so I'm impressed they are going for it and making it happen, but I can only imagine the cost.

A former coworker did something similar to this. A wedding here for their friends and family and a wedding in each of their home countries b/c both of their families could not afford to fly over to another country to celebrate. But their home ceremonies were less North American style and more of a family celebration.

I can't remember where I read this but the average spent for a wedding in North America is $28,500.

I just about died when I read that and am really glad that my wedding is not going to be anywhere close to that price tag!

**krbshappy71** · 03-11-2011, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

how to get a loan to pay for a wedding | ehow.com
people are taking out loans for weddings. How insane is that?

hahahaha i loved instruction #1 !!!!!!

**lparker** · 03-12-2011, 12:38 PM

Now, it's been a couple years...but, we rented the American Legion hall in town for our reception -$50 (not much more than that now) and my cousin had a band - $100. We did not cater - $100. My Aunt made the wedding dress - $0. Wedding cake - by one of our Mother's friends - $0. We had about 80 people there. A co-worker of mine lent me his pick-up camper - $0. A one week trip to NC and up the Blue Ridge Parkway - $ not much. In 1972.

**Squidge** · 03-12-2011, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by mndtrp

Planning and being in one wedding was more than enough, I can't imagine doing 3.

It's the planning that seems the most daunting to me! They've done really well with it, though. Virtually no stress - all very calm and happy

Originally Posted by Libby

A former coworker did something similar to this. A wedding here for their friends and family and a wedding in each of their home countries b/c both of their families could not afford to fly over to another country to celebrate. But their home ceremonies were less North American style and more of a family celebration.

I can't remember where I read this but the average spent for a wedding in North America is $28,500.

I just about died when I read that and am really glad that my wedding is not going to be anywhere close to that price tag!

Yeah, I think it's a similar situation in that the couple I know are trying to accommodate their families as much as possible, but it's more for practical reasons (not having to organise a huge amount of guests to fly here) than a cost issue for those attending. My colleague and her husband will have one small ceremony here, but the other two - one of which is already over - are pretty big affairs. It seems like so much to get in place.

Libby, I read that in the UK it's on average £16,000. It just seems like so much to spend on a few hours.

**Mrs K** · 03-12-2011, 03:36 PM

Well, I'll surely be the odd one out but here goes: we got married in October 2009. We had the huge fancy bash we wanted with 250 guests (both have big families). All in all the whole thing cost us a little over 30k. However we had saved up and paid for the whole thing in cash. Also since we had been living together for 4 years we asked that should guest want to give a gift, we prefered money rather than, say, a toaster.
I do think it preposterous to take out a loan to pay for a wedding, but I think people have huge weddings because they want to not because it is the thing to do. I also think it is a question of priority. Personnaly, I loved planning our wedding. I love that day. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

**Squidge** · 03-12-2011, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Mrs K

Well, I'll surely be the odd one out but here goes: we got married in October 2009. We had the huge fancy bash we wanted with 250 guests (both have big families). All in all the whole thing cost us a little over 30k. However we had saved up and paid for the whole thing in cash. Also since we had been living together for 4 years we asked that should guest want to give a gift, we prefered money rather than, say, a toaster.
I do think it preposterous to take out a loan to pay for a wedding, but I think people have huge weddings because they want to not because it is the thing to do. I also think it is a question of priority. Personnaly, I loved planning our wedding. I love that day. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I agree with you 100% in that if it is what a couple really wants, then they should absolutely go for it. No-one else has the knowledge or the right to decide your priorities for you, in my opinion. My SO and I choose not to run a car so that we have more 'fun money' and we deliberately keep a sizable enough chunk of our budget for eating out and date nights. Not everyone would agree that that is the “right” thing to do, but we believe it is completely appropriate for us as a couple in our financial situation.

What I have seen, though - and forgive the anecdotal evidence here - is some couples who are pretty much forced into having humongous bashes because it is what the extended family want and because it is a culturally expected pressure. Maybe this isn’t such a big deal where you are, but it is especially evident in my Catholic NI upbringing where families are generally large and...a little demanding

. Couples would rather start off with financial strain and debt than risk fracturing their relationships with their relatives by having the wedding they want and that's what I find sad.

I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but it sure is for some.

I’m glad you had such a lovely day and it was everything you wanted. That's really all that's important.

**lparker** · 03-12-2011, 07:21 PM

While optimism is good, I can't see investing a lot of money into something that has a 50% chance of failing within a few years. If you base your marriage on how much money you can use to get it started.................but that's all sour grapes...I didn't have $500 to spend on mine.

**NikoSan999** · 03-12-2011, 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by lparker

Now, it's been a couple years...but, we rented the American Legion hall in town for our reception -$50 (not much more than that now) and my cousin had a band - $100. We did not cater - $100. My Aunt made the wedding dress - $0. Wedding cake - by one of our Mother's friends - $0. We had about 80 people there. A co-worker of mine lent me his pick-up camper - $0. A one week trip to NC and up the Blue Ridge Parkway - $ not much. In 1972.

Now, it's been a couple years...but, we rented the VFW hall in town for our reception -$200 ( not much more than that now) and my husband had a band - free. We did not cater but mother and I and a couple sisters cooked the food ourselves and on invitation we put if you would like to bring a covered dish we would welcome it. I did buy the wedding dress - $99 and veil $29. Wedding cake - made by mother ( HUGE ) - $0. We had about 76 to 80 people there also. After the reception we went to Waffle House and sat a couple hours in " OUR " booth. We left next day from Ohio and came to Florida to his parents house - $ not much. In 1989.

**gmarie** · 03-13-2011, 12:19 AM

DH financed my engagement ring! Does that count?
We didn't take out a loan for the wedding, but I started including our available credit as cash in our wedding budget. I had lost my job several months before the wedding, but it didn't stop us from going forward with the wedding as planned (open bar and all!) We were so smart!

**Luckybustert** · 03-13-2011, 04:16 PM

The cost of weddings is obscene to begin with and taking a loan to fund it seems ridiculous to me. I'd rather use that money for a down payment on a house or a nice honeymoon or both.

**mndtrp** · 03-13-2011, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by gmarie

DH financed my engagement ring! Does that count?

I did, as well. However, I only did it to get 10% discount, plus 6 months no interest. I had the cash to pay it off, as with all purchases, but spreading it out with the discount seemed wiser.

**bast** · 03-18-2011, 10:11 AM

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

In the unlikely event that I ever get married again, it will be by Elvis in Vegas. It's cheaper and less stressful than fussing over loads of money and a million details, which I hate doing anyway!