Paying off another persons debt ~ personal challenge

**nodmicks** · 09-19-2011, 11:17 AM

A dear friend is for the most bed bound and on better days wheel chair bound now. She had steps going up a good hill that took 3 people and a good amount of time to get her down. She couldn't get the wheel chair through most doorways in the house. She also needed the bathroom handicap ready. It needed to be handicap accessible period. Her cost to live there are less than going into subsidized housing at 30% of her income.

A grant paid for it I thought. A grant paid for MOST of it. She was very upset the other day and told me she had got the rest of the cash on a cash advance on a CC. She had this CC from years ago when she could still make $ besides her $700 disability. It is the only CC she has ever had. The repairs were 100% necessary to keep living in the small ( very cheap taxes etc) paid for house with her physical limitations.

She has always avoided food stamps etc and lived very frugally on her small income. She said she was going to breakdown and apply because that was the only way she could make a monthly payment on the CC. She said she shouldnt have done it but really had exhausted her options for help. I sat there with her and had her call and cancel the CC and cut it up. I reassured her the CC co. can not garnish her disability income.

Dh and I have a tighter budget than it used to be due to costs rising and the FFEF re-rebuilding . We are still working to rebuild the FFEF after last summers fiasco of buying a 2010 car with cash and then having disaster after disaster drain most of the FFEF in a few months time.

We talked and prayed a lot about this. We are going to pay it for her. This is the only financial bind she has ever gotten herself into ever. When she was able she did so much for other people. She doesn't have a selfish bone in her body. She started crying when I told her we wanted to help her after she stopped her objections. She has helped with with my life more than I can say. Not financially but in every other way possible. With how good of a friend she has been all my life this is the least I can do to help her with a burden as her health continues to degenerate.

We are not willing to take money out of the FFEF due to being a 1 and .25 job household in a shaky economy but are willing to make the payments. She will try to pay what she can. I have all the billing info and will make payments as I can. I made an online payment last week. The balance is $3030 at 12.99%.

I guess I am sharing for a bit of accountability in helping me pay this off. I hope this doesn't come off as tooting my horn. I really just want the accountability. The FV was a huge cheerleader for me when I was paying off our own huge debts years ago.

Just a note. I know some may feel I am stupid for doing this. If so that is ok but I don't.

I plan to update here as I make the payments.

**Nishu** · 09-19-2011, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by nodmicks

Just a note. I know some may feel I am stupid for doing this. If so that is ok but I don't.

I plan to update here as I make the payments.

This is very different than paying off a bill for someone who continuously messes up. I don't think it's stupid at all. If only we all could be so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

**nodmicks** · 09-19-2011, 11:28 AM

Thanks for saying it isn't stupid Nishu! She has always been super responsible.

Honestly I am very blessed with her. Even with as bad as her life is she is such a positive person

My kids have learned so much about not giving up from her.

I forgot to mention my basic plan for now is to pay $50 a week on the debt. More if I can manage without endangering our own finances. I had been putting $100 a week towards the FFEF. I cut that for now to pay the CC. When I have extra $ not budgeted for it will be split between the CC and the FFEF.

**Josephhgoins** · 09-19-2011, 11:35 AM

I completely agree with Nishu. I wish you luck and hope it works out well.

Also, just a suggestion, you may want her to call the CC company and explain the situation to them. They may be willing to lower the rate a little or work out some payment plan.

She also may want to talk to social services as their may be something they can do, not sure what but something. For some reason I was thinking some family member had a similiar issue and somehow SS helped get them a no interest loan.

**daylily** · 09-19-2011, 12:23 PM

I think that is wonderful. I know when DH had the accident and we had no income, friends and family pitched in to help us until we could get back on our feet. It makes all the difference and I wish you the best.

**nodmicks** · 09-19-2011, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by Josephhgoins

I completely agree with Nishu. I wish you luck and hope it works out well.

Also, just a suggestion, you may want her to call the CC company and explain the situation to them. They may be willing to lower the rate a little or work out some payment plan.

She also may want to talk to social services as their may be something they can do, not sure what but something. For some reason I was thinking some family member had a similiar issue and somehow SS helped get them a no interest loan.

She exhausted her options with social services so far but it sure never hurts to keep checking options!

I will ask her to call the CC co. So far it hasn't been late since it just came due recently.

Daylily I am glad you had such kind friends!

**Iansmommy** · 09-19-2011, 12:47 PM

I don't think you are stupid at all. You are a very dear friend. And kudos to your friend for being so good with her money all of her life and taking responsibility for her debt. You both sound like wonderful people...

**frugalwarrior2** · 09-19-2011, 12:59 PM

Well ok I agree w/ helping a friend but
Is she still getting food stamps because she is exactly who deserves to get them. No shame there
And I would help her get anything I could before giving up money in your tight budget.
Could you get some food at a pantry/angel foods
Get her free or lower cost heat thru "thaw" programs
Call the community services and senior programs divisions.
Get her a deal on her CC or at least a better rate?

Just some ideas. I hope 1 will work. Then if not I do applaud you. And pray if you do. When DH was laid up I did my share and miraculous things just presented themselves. Good luck and no one thinks your foolish here either.

**khaski** · 09-19-2011, 01:17 PM

I think it's wonderful!!!!!!! one idea, to help her out AND ease your burden- might you do a fundraiser to help whittle it down? A big group yardsale, a spaghetti dinner? Would be working to the same end and require some elbow grease, but could help you help her too, without dipping into yur wallet as much if times are lean for you as well.

**Greebo** · 09-19-2011, 01:26 PM

I think it's a very nice thing you're doing for your friend, and am very glad that you're doing it in a responsible manner.

**nodmicks** · 09-19-2011, 02:18 PM

Our budget it snug but some of that is self enforced with sinking funds, more retirement etc. Though I fully admit rising costs are killing it! Especially medical bills. We wont be going with out anything that is a necessity. I'm willing to give up our meal or two out a month

I hope I didnt make it sound like we would be starving doing this. I figured $50 a week is a safe figure to pay on it.

Originally Posted by frugalwarrior2

Well ok I agree w/ helping a friend but
Is she still getting food stamps because she is exactly who deserves to get them. No shame there
And I would help her get anything I could before giving up money in your tight budget.
Could you get some food at a pantry/angel foods
Get her free or lower cost heat thru "thaw" programs
Call the community services and senior programs divisions.
Get her a deal on her CC or at least a better rate?

Just some ideas. I hope 1 will work. Then if not I do applaud you. And pray if you do. When DH was laid up I did my share and miraculous things just presented themselves. Good luck and no one thinks your foolish here either.

No she has never gotten food stamps before. She is applying now. She has never had a problem affording food as she budgeted very carefully and is a teeny tiny woman with a teeny tiny appetite. Us friends bring her meals a lot since she has gotten worse. Most days she can not do more than microwave.

What is a "thaw" program?

She is 39 so no senior. Is community services different from social services?

I dont honestly know if she can get a better rate. She has not been able to work in several years and just has the small disability income in that time frame. You know though there is nothing to lose by trying though! The worse they can say is no right and it just might work. The only credit she has ever had is this CC and a jewelry loan. The house was inherited when she was younger.

Thanks for the thoughts and ideas! Yep I sure do pray. I'm glad things worked well for you

Originally Posted by khaski

I think it's wonderful!!!!!!! one idea, to help her out AND ease your burden- might you do a fundraiser to help whittle it down? A big group yardsale, a spaghetti dinner? Would be working to the same end and require some elbow grease, but could help you help her too, without dipping into yur wallet as much if times are lean for you as well.

Thanks! I wish she had told me before she put it on the cc because that is exactly what we would have done. I think the yard sale is a great idea. It is getting kind of cold here but I bet we could get the Lions to donate the building!!!!

I thought about Ebay'ing some items also as I read your reply.

Originally Posted by Greebo

I think it's a very nice thing you're doing for your friend, and am very glad that you're doing it in a responsible manner.

Thanks Greebo

Glad ya'' dont think this is nuts. I had a mutual friend I discussed this with say I was frigging nuts and to let them send it to collections eventually since she isn't garnish-able. That would make my friend with the debt worry so much!!!