Embarrassed, but moving forward..

**mama2James** · 01-01-2012, 03:11 PM

I am the money manager in our household. And I have to face the fact that I have not done a good job lately at all. It would be easier to place blame, and claim that I CAN'T do a good job if DH won't cooperate and continues to spend money on his wants etc.. The plain truth is, I have lost control of the finances. I spend too much on wants as well, and his spending is no excuse for me not being organized. We are behind on at least 3 accounts, one of which I didn't even know about until today. I bought DHs college books on an empty credit card in Sept and then promptly forgot about it. The e-statements go to an email that I don't check any more...bottom line is the account is now closed. This is so unlike me.
We are in a bit of an odd spot right now financially.. DH is a full time college student. We are getting by on his GI Bill, my full time income and whatever he is able to make picking up hours when they are available.
The first step is facing up to the situation. I scheduled payments on two delinquent accounts today. A third one will need to wait until tomorrow, the banks are closed today.
Going gung-ho and trying to map out a down to the penny budget and plan is just not going to happen right now..too much chaos.. but I will start by listing what is owed and sharing what I find with DH. We did talk the other day about committing to no new debt unless it is for an absolute necessity ie shelter, food, transportation. I cannot guarantee that DH is 100% on board (due to other issues we are actively working on)..but I can lead by example and present him with the facts.

**hnybny91** · 01-01-2012, 06:18 PM

At least you recognize this and are willing to take the steps necessary to fix it and that means you are way ahead of the game then some others are. Kudos to you and hugs

**brenda67** · 01-01-2012, 06:24 PM

Don't be so hard on yourself! You see the problem's and are looking to fix them..Nobody is perfect and you recognize the flaws in your situation..don't sweat it life is to short..Hugs,Brenda

**Ceashels** · 01-01-2012, 06:34 PM

Many times sitting down and facing the numbers is the most difficult part. You've done that and are laying out a plan. I think that is awesome.

It is another step in the right direction.

Kudos.

**Ponderer** · 01-01-2012, 07:22 PM

If you do something and learn from it, call it a lesson. If you keep repeating it, then you would have to call it a mistake.

Good job on the lesson learned!

**ncarr** · 01-01-2012, 08:17 PM

Hang in there! Identifying and accepting the problem is the hardest part *hugs*

**hmcart** · 01-01-2012, 08:24 PM

You are in the right direction and the right place. We sat down and did the math and realized we had been spending too much on things we didnt need. As of today we wont be eating out or wasteful spending. We have a plan and it sounds like you do as well!

**MTS04** · 01-01-2012, 11:38 PM

Been there, done that on the forgotten account. Glad you caught it sooner than later. I know it can feel embarrassing, but believe it or not, you're human and mistakes happen.
Glad you're moving forward and grabbing the bull by the horns. Good luck to you!

**khaski** · 01-02-2012, 08:24 AM

Take it as a learning opportunity and move forward, as you're doing. The fact you are not just pointing fingers but instead taking personal responsibilty for your part it in points to success down the line!