OK -- does anyone else have a problem with their "poor deprived dh" Oh that man drives me mad!!
I FINALLY had a day off today and what do we do?? Argue of course! We worked out at the gym and then he wanted to go to the thrift store. No problem....didn't get much but didn't need much. He offered up pizza....sounds good so we got 2 $5 pizza. Then he wanted to go to the video store. Now we have Netflix but b/c he drove around with all 3 dvd's in his truck we don't have any new ones to watch so I reluctantly said ok lets go. So we get to the video store and of course he wants 2 dvds. I said lets just get one and wouldn't you know thats all it took!
He's ranting on about how I'm possessed by money and if he could change just one thing about me... well! How easy for the one who doesn't take care of the finances to be pissy to the one who does all the work! I hang my clothes to dry, use the libary, take my lunch to work DAILY!
This man is just vaguely aware that we have income in and bills going out! How dare he attack me!! Why when I met this man his car was just repoed and now look at us!! We have a nice home, he drives a newer car. Shhhh but we actually have a savings acct!!.....hummph! Damn ingrates for all my work I tell ya!
Just had to rant girls......grumble grumble!
__________________
~Heather~
Healer in Training
We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know.
W. H. Auden
I know. The one who doesn't DO the work doesn't realize how much work it truly is.
But I don't respect the amount of time my DH gives to certain family jobs either -- I go for a nap, wake up, and he's still got his head under the hood of the car.
May be time to sit him down & show him the bills & the checkbook. Just to look at but not touch.
__________________ ~*Darlene*~
Live Well~Laugh Often~Love Much
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia
Well Sweetie,
I'd be handing the checkbook over to him along with the bills and have him do all the work in paying them and seeing just how much is going out. Worked on my hubby! BTW, I never took control of the checkbook again and now hubby is Mr. Frgal to the core!
When things like that happen here, I look Himself straight in the eyes and run down the bills being paid, the ones needing to be paid, upcoming events that need to be addressed, when the taxes, insurances, and other yearly bills are due, and then sweetly ask him how much OT he'd like to work so he can watch all the DVDs he'd like to. Facts, with their corresponding figures, can't be denied. He did our finances for 4 and a half years. Then he gladly handed the checkbook over. He's not wanting to take it back, so I make sure he's aware of the situation, remind him of our goals, and offer alternatives that we can compromise on. Generally he settles down pretty quick. When he doesn't, we chat some more and figure something out. It's not fun, it's not easy, and I don't like always being the "pragmatic, realistic, grown-up", but someone's got to and we already found out that it's just not something he can keep his mind around.
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Ungrateful dh's..... grumble grumble
May be time to sit him down & show him the bills & the checkbook. Just to look at but not touch.
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