I need advice....

**daddys3chicks** · 01-10-2005, 05:22 PM

.....I am going to be honest here. We have a mountain of unsecured debt. We have a mortgage on our home which has already be refinanced and a second. I have a $1000 payment due on one CC this month - I called to get the interest rate reduced, but since it was over the limit, it has to be under for 6 months before they will reduce it. I don't want to get another cc to try and transfer because the last time I did that it just got us in deeper.

At this point DH is withdrawing his entire 401K balance on a hardship and we will probably have to use the girls savings accounts too. I am so depressed and embarrassed by this.

We have a friend at church who is a certified financial planner. I had been thinking that we need to suck up the pride and call him for help. Interestingly enough Dh just mentioned the same thing to me.

I guess I am asking for any advice, experience. Please don't beat on me for the debt. I know it's unreal and that is why I am here.

Thanks

**homesteadmamma** · 01-10-2005, 05:36 PM

Oh sweetie, no one will beat up on your because of the debt. We all have debt (well most of us) and often many of us have found us in the same situation as you are.

I would call your certified financial planner and seek his advice if you trust him. There is nothing wrong with asking for advice when it comes to finances. The best advice we ever got was from an advisor at our bank. He was thorough and gave us sound advice that we follow to this day.

Praying you can get through this difficult time.

**gkp1031** · 01-10-2005, 06:33 PM

Cheryl, I've been there and done that.

When I was in that situation, I called my credit cards and explained to them that I was having a hard time making the payments, etc. I was able to get my monthly payment lowered and they did lower the interest rate. Most credit cards that I've dealt with are happy to get some money from you rather than none at all.

Another option, call Consumer Credit Counseling, they will contact your credit cards on your behalf and set up a payment that you can manage. The one thing with this is, once your on that program, you can't use those cards anymore. Your payment will go to Consumer Credit Counseling and they will distribute it to your creditors. There is a small fee, but when I did this, it was worth it. The fee was less than $5 a month, this was over 10 years ago though, not sure what it is now.

Feel free to pm me if you want, like I said, I've been there, done that, so I know what your going through. :hugs:

**forestdale** · 01-10-2005, 06:40 PM

Cheryl, there no need to feel embarrassed. Many people come here to find skills to get rid of debt. Many of us are in the boat with you.

I would advise you to look through the threads here as there's a lot of info about easing debt.

Also, if you have a financial planner at hand, and if you trust him, take his advice. Remember though, not all financial planners are great, try to find out if this one is ok before you ask his advice.

And last of all, but definately not least, ask gina or any of the other ladies who have been in your situation and have worked their way out. There is nothing like first hand info.

Good luck Cheryl! I know you can do this.

**Bessiemae** · 01-10-2005, 06:52 PM

Most folks have some sort of debt. Fact of Life for most of us.

Mortgage. Car. Credit cards. Medical. Taxes. Sorta like "everybody poops"..everyone does it, but noone talks about it.

A financial advisor MAY be helpful, but I would question fees, services, certifications, etc. What may be better for you is to speak with a Consumer Debt Couselor. It's FREE and they can assist you with working with the creditors.

Me? I have little self control, so I keep all credit cards/ATM at home and pay by cash or check. Cash means a trip to the bank, since I don't use ATM's anymore. Requires planning.

I no longer charge ANYTHING on credit cards and am working on paying them off. Got quite a ways to go, yet, but I do see progress.

We also have money taken out of each pay before we even see it. Can't see it. Can't spend it.

Again, it's set up to be a real pain to access...requires more planning and access only M-F 9-4.

It will get better! Guaranteed!

Before emptying 401K's brainstorm on bringin' in more $$..as long as doing so doesn't cost you $$$. I work part time , but weekends so Dh takes care of the kids and no child care. Child care? House cleaning? Ironing?

Big Hugs! And a Cup of Tea?

**Jayne** · 01-10-2005, 07:00 PM

Oh Cheryl ,hon, I am so in the same boat, as are alot of us here.....Look at the bottom of my siggy and you will see....hang in there hon, and p.m. me if you need to talk

**Mom23boys** · 01-10-2005, 07:11 PM

Cheryl. I think we have all been where you are right now at one time or another.

If you could get the financial advisor to help, I would. That sounds like your best option.

Hang in there. It will get better.

**Darlene** · 01-10-2005, 08:06 PM

Yep, happens to many people. Besides what has been mentioned above, no unnessessary spending. Use it up, make do or find a free way to do it. Have extra services on phone, get rid of them. HBO or mega cable get rid of it. Back to basics.
Learn about snowballing your bills and more...You can do this! http://moneycentral.communities.msn....1&all_topics=1

**Chea** · 01-10-2005, 08:11 PM

You've gotten great advice to far so no need for me to reiterate. Just know that you can conquer this debt!

**mylittle4** · 01-10-2005, 08:43 PM

Dont be embarrassed coming here and talking is GREAT for inspiration and to keep ourselves from spending. You can do this. Take all the great advise givin and remember we are all here for you.

**RuthNY** · 01-11-2005, 08:23 AM

Cheryl, you haven't lived til you have your bill collectors call your neighbors, or how about this one, you haven't lived till you're outside mowing your lawn and have a bill collector walk up to you and ask to talk.

Those two experiences got me in line and to this day I refuse to let myself get that bad EVER again! But my point is, you are NOT alone in this! You are here asking for advice on how to handle this and that is the first step. You'll fix this, and you'll never want to go back to this way of life again, I swear!

**Diana in Wisconsin** · 01-11-2005, 09:45 AM

Cheryl:

The only thing I would really stress is to not touch that 401K money. You will never, ever make up the short term gain of paying off your debts by doing that. You're sacrificing your financial future. And what's to say that you won't get into money trouble again? Until you and your husband assess and address what causes you to lie so far beyond your means, you are ripe for the pickin' to get into debt all over again.

If it's not too late, please don't touch that money! Not even as a last resort. (I was a Financial Planner in another life.)

But, feel free to have the payments stopped. It's going to effect your tax base, because you'll have more taxable income coming in, though, so plan for that so you don't end up in tax trouble, too.

Consumer (unsecured) Debt effects every single corner of our money lives. It's a tough nut to crack, but people get it straightened out all the time.

Don't be discouraged, but DO get some professional help on this. You'll be glad you did!

**Michele Annette** · 01-11-2005, 10:01 AM

Cheryl,

I know everything will work out in the end. We have gone though rough times with debt where I have drawn from my 401K in the past...not the greatest decision, but it's already done and over with...but my 401K is back up now and I won't ever do that again! Please don't feel embarrassed to come here with this. I wish you the best on your financial goals!

**nodmicks** · 01-11-2005, 10:07 AM

cheryl

Hugs! I've been there and we are currently working our selves slowly out of the hole the last few years.
Our biggest help was following Dave Ramseys principals.
www.daveramsey.com
Investigate the total money make over board. It did us a mountain of good.
Hugs!

**AmyBoz** · 01-11-2005, 04:14 PM

Cheryl,
Please explore every other option before touching the 401K. I TOTALLY agree with Diana. I would call your financial planner friend (if they'll advise you for free) and have a long sit down, with all of your papers in front of you. Don't be embarassed. It's what this person does for a living!
I've got debt too. Check my siggy for mine. But, we're working on it, and so will you. You can do it and we'll be with you every step of the way!