DH finally gets it!!!

**sarcophagus** · 09-06-2005, 03:39 PM

Today I got a desperate call from my husband. He had forgotten to pack a lunch for work and came to the sudden realization that he didn't have enough money to buy it either (I could've told him that)!! Anyway, we had a long talk on the phone and tonight we're gonna sit down and really plan out a budget. We're gonna agree on which areas needs improvement and think of ways that we can have fun without spending money!! I'm so happy!!

My one question is how are we gonna make this happen? I've read so much. I think our best route is getting a joint account, no debit cards, as well as individual savings accounts (DH wants his money after all). That way, after paying bills etc. we can put left over into savings accounts. What do you all think?

Do you have any suggestions for us...newlywed, first time cheapskates?

Thanks!!!

**Michele Annette** · 09-06-2005, 05:08 PM

Hi! Good for you on getting together with your DH to work out your finances. You may get some advice here, but do what's comfortable with you and your DH.

DH and I have seperate accounts, but that is what works for us. We have had all our accounts together and that didn't work out as well for us. You may want to have something in your name alone to protect yourself, in case of an emergency or to build credit. Whatever you choose be sure you are both open and honest with your money and work together. I wish you the best!

**Jerseygirl** · 09-06-2005, 07:01 PM

What works for us is: We each put a set amount into the "house" account each month, this covers all of the house expenses and leaves a bit of a cushion for repairs etc. Anything left after that goes into our own accounts for whatever we choose and to pay our personal bills. I spend too much on shoes, him on music equipment so now there is no arguements. We do have each other's names on each account to protect each other (so we always have legal access to each other's accounts, but we don't access it without permission).

**Telephus44** · 09-06-2005, 07:46 PM

We do the same thing as Jerseygirl, except that we don't actually have access to the other person's account, and since we still rent we call our fund "Joint" instead of "house".

All of our paychecks deposit into our personal accounts, and then we each transfer a set amount of money into Joint at a certain point in the month (his on the 15th, mine at the end of the month).

It works for us - I know everyone is a little different.

**sarcophagus** · 09-07-2005, 01:06 PM

Those are some good ideas incase DH feels that the joint account won't work.

The problem is that having our own personal accounts really doesn't work either. I end up paying all the bills and DH has total control over his earnings (ie. spends it on useless stuff then wonders where it went when he needs it). I'm not controlling his money because he asked me to nag him when he spends money so he stops. I think a joint account is the best way to handle it.
So this is what we agreed upon: A joint account for the bills rent etc. Once they are paid off what's left over at the end of the month gets deposited into individual savings accounts. This is gonna be calculated by how much we each put into the income...I put in 21%, DH puts in 79%...we'll have debit cards put on the joint account but none on the savings accounts. We will also have our credit cards and line of credits attached to our account....

Hopefully this works because our current system is less the stellar...

Thanks for all your ideas!!!

**Darlene** · 09-07-2005, 02:12 PM

Guess we're in the minority, everything goes into one account and everything is paid from there. No his or her money, just ours.
He lets me know if he needs anything & I shop & get it. If we need something we talk about it & get it. Christmas we sometimes have a certain $ ammount that we use to buy something for each other.
Glad you 2 are talking about money, it's the not talking that really can get you in trouble. good for you

**tbs727** · 09-07-2005, 03:25 PM

We also have joint accounts. It has been a struggle for us, b/c DH likes to spend money and I like to save it. However, he is coming around and getting better about his spending. it's good to know that separate accounts work better for some people. We may try that if things don't work out the way they are.

**AmyBoz** · 09-07-2005, 04:15 PM

We also have joint checking and savings. We pay bills from checking and save in savings. When I get cash from piano lessons or tutoring, I deposit half and then we split the other half 50/50 so we each have a little cash in our wallet. If I get paid again and we haven't spent our money, we just deposit it straightaway.

Doesn't work for everyone, but works for us!

**alabamagirl** · 09-07-2005, 05:59 PM

Another here that has a joint account and it works for us.

Just a thought on debit cards - I find it really helps me to limit credit card spending for true emergencies. I can use the debit as a credit when traveling on business and those other times I'm caught without cash.

Good luck - y'all will figure out what works for you with trial and error. The main thing is talking it out and coming to an agreement.

**PrairieRose** · 09-08-2005, 10:46 AM

We have joint accounts. We talk about all major purchases but if we want something minor we get it. Dh carries a couple of blank checks and some cash at all times and I carry the checkbook. I'm the bill payer around here so I know what we have or don't have.

It took Gripey a long time to come around to my way of thinking but he thanks me quite often for prodding him along.