What would you do?

**freedeal** · 02-16-2006, 08:53 AM

I was getting ready to put $400 extra on our debt reduction but when I picked my son up from school yesterday I started talking to one of the parents. She and I have taked about 10 minutes each week for 5 years. She has never told me about any financial problems until yesterday. She wasn't poor mouthing she was just venting. Anyway, her mother is paying her house payment and her computer died she did eBay up to this point pretty much to feed her family. She doesn't have money to fix the computer and buy groceries. Her husband is a car salesman and sales haven't been good. Also, he is on the waiting list for another industry job where he will make a lot more money but it could be 2-3 months before that comes through. He will get the job another position just has to come up.

I thought I should take part of the money and buy her groceries. We live very comfortable and my reasoning to get out of debt is two fold - one to pay for my kids college so they have no student loans and the other is to be able to help people in need.

Sorry so long, but would you reduce the amount extra you have to put on your debt snowball and help someone out or not.

I really want to help.

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-16-2006, 09:09 AM

Well that is your own decision to make, if you living comfortably now and CAN help her out, then by all means do what you think you should do.

You can buy her groceries that is such a sweet gesture and well the kids have to eat but you can also maybe help in other ways such as:

~ Finding a local food bank for food
~ Sometimes food banks have other items such as clothing, etc..
~ If they have no income they apply for assitance till hubby gets another job, this can help her fix her computer too!

Down here in PA we have a local food bank but inside the food bank you can get help with many things like diapers, clothing, rental assistance, bus passes and stuff like that.

I just have to say that your a wonderful woman even thinking about helping, you know it's the right thing to do but dont strap yourself, there are tons of places out there that can help her with food, money, medical assistance, etc..

**pammy** · 02-16-2006, 09:18 AM

I was once struggling very badly and was determined to not ask anyone for help. My sis, for unknown reasons, gave me her extra groceries one night, about 3 bags worth. You can't imagine how much that meant to me. I cried so hard. And have since returned the favor to her in the same situation, and she's told me how much it meant to her. I see nothing wrong with helping someone like that. They didn't ask you, but you feel in your heart to do that, no one can fault that. And it would mean so much to the person recieving it.

Not trying to tell you what to do or anything, it's your money, but I've been on the recieving end of this type of kindness and wanted to share from that perspective.

**Emerald_Mommy** · 02-16-2006, 10:39 AM

Well, you can probably do both. Like put a smaller amount toward the debt and buy her groceries (not extravagant processed food but good, healthy, nourishing food).

I wouldn't blame you whatever you decide but that is probably what I would do. HTH!

**NoDebtMom** · 02-16-2006, 10:41 AM

A grocery store gift card may be an alternative, too....
Very generous and kind of you!

**KimSecret** · 02-16-2006, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by strugglingmomof3
Well that is your own decision to make, if you living comfortably now and CAN help her out, then by all means do what you think you should do.

You can buy her groceries that is such a sweet gesture and well the kids have to eat but you can also maybe help in other ways such as:

~ Finding a local food bank for food
~ Sometimes food banks have other items such as clothing, etc..
~ If they have no income they apply for assitance till hubby gets another job, this can help her fix her computer too!

Down here in PA we have a local food bank but inside the food bank you can get help with many things like diapers, clothing, rental assistance, bus passes and stuff like that.

I just have to say that your a wonderful woman even thinking about helping, you know it's the right thing to do but dont strap yourself, there are tons of places out there that can help her with food, money, medical assistance, etc..

I agree with Tracy. I mean you could pick her up some essentials and all to hold her over, but then also help her find a local food bank, church or whatever that can also help her until her Dh gets the new job.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do. BIG HUG to you for being so thoughtful.

**Darlene** · 02-16-2006, 11:27 AM

Helping her & her family would be a lovely thing to do.

**FreesiaE** · 02-16-2006, 11:37 AM

If you can buy her some groceries, I think that would be great. I am a big believer in karma, "what goes around comes around"--whatever you want to call it. You could also maybe put in a sheet of contact resources for various aid programs in the community. Can you let her borrow your computer for Ebay auctions until she can get her computer fixed? I'm not sure how well you two know each other, but that way she could get some income again.

**pkellyc** · 02-16-2006, 12:09 PM

I have been helping out my neice who is a young mother. Her family of 3 is living on $800 a month. I send over care packages all the time. The last package my sister and I gave her included a couple of bars of Ivory soap and a bottle of soda with the food. Well you would think we gave her a million dollars. It turns out she had not had soda in months and what a treat it was. She also just loves Ivory soap. The way she went on and on just made me feel so bad. I did not have a clue that she was so bad off until she came to borrow $40 for a perscription after losing her job. Who would have thought a lousy bottle of diet Coke and a couple of bars of soap would make someone so happy? So I say go for it.
I am a believer in everything we do comes full circle maybe not to us directly but for the next person who needs a helping hand.

**freedeal** · 02-16-2006, 01:00 PM

I called my husband at work and told him what I wanted to do. He completely agreed. So I ran by the grocery store and bought a giftcard since I have no idea what they need. I will take it to the school today when I pick up my son. I put it in an envelope and will give it to her before the kids get to the car.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I will also offer to let her use my computer for her eBay. I may wait until next week to mention the food bank, etc. until next week. I would hate to overwhelm her.

Have a great day.

**Michele Annette** · 02-16-2006, 01:28 PM

I think that's absolutely wonderful for you to do!

**madhen** · 02-16-2006, 01:37 PM

Just a thought, but most college libraries have computers that have free access to the internet. No fees involved, except possibly parking lot costs or bus fare (probably cheaper than parking).