Confession

ladydi · 03-29-2006, 09:28 PM

Well I broke down today and bought stuff. I bought a pair of jeans, 3 bras, and a pair of shoes. Last night I was trying on a bunch of my pants and none of them fit (I gained a ton of weight over the winter

). So today while I was in the mall (bad idea), I stopped in to one of the stores and tried on a pair of jeans. They fit, so I bought 'em. Then they had bras on sale- buy 2 get one free- well I couldn't very well pass that up now could I?

Then as I was leaving I saw a pair of summer shoes that I just "had to have". Moral of the story: First of all, do not go in the mall. I struggle with this because I literally work across the street from it, but I haven't been in there for three months on purpose. Second, if I absolutely have to go in there, I need to focus on what I'm there for (I usually go there to go to the bank). I'm trying not to beat myself up over this and one of the the positive things that came out of it was that I did NOT put these purchases on my credit card. I paid in cash-but of course that money could have gone to debt.
Anyway, I feel better now that I confessed. It would have been easier to keep my little shopping spree to myself. Still, I can't help but feel that I failed. I guess another positive is that now I have a pair of pants that fit! Time for a diet.
Thanks for listening to me!!!

jzkitten · 03-29-2006, 09:37 PM

Ladydi, I'm right there with you. I broke down yesterday and bought me a pair of jeans that actually fit. The way I see it we have to have something to wear that doesn't cut into us. At least we didn't go further in debt. That's a good thing!

Kelly0411 · 03-29-2006, 09:50 PM

Don't beat yourself up about this! Life is here to enjoy and at least for me, if I work and work and work and don't give myself a treat once in awhile the results would be much worse!

chatterweb · 03-30-2006, 01:39 AM

I get badgered all the time at work and at home for not shopping for new stuff and for not taking time to enjoy life right now.

Well, I am enjoying life, I hate to shop, and I have a $75 gift card for Macys from Christmas and I still won't shop!
I commend you for buying new stuff, if it tickles your fancy, do not let it bother you mentally, otherwise, why even bother shopping?

I love to shop, but, for Real Estate, so, right now, I am window shopping!

Jenna · 03-30-2006, 03:24 AM

Hey, at least you paid in cash. Sometimes you need to buy new clothes.

frugalfarmwife · 03-30-2006, 04:48 AM

Don't beat yourself up, it sounds like you needed a small break AND the pants, and if you're like me it was time for new bras too

So I'd consider the shoes the little splurge and feel good about it.

Besides, looking at all you've paid off so far this year in your debt line you DESERVE a splurge, you're doing great!

kj

freedeal · 03-30-2006, 09:13 AM

I think this shopping experience was a positive for you. You were able to see all the things you have learned while trying to reduce your debt. You paid CASH!!! That's a big deal. You NEEDED pants. You now have bras and summer shoes. So you have the items so you won't have to go back and look for a pair of shoes, etc.

Think about this. How much would you have bought if you weren't aware of your finances? How much would you have bought if you were charging it on a credit card?

See you are a winner already.

Lorri · 03-30-2006, 09:29 AM

YEAH what freedeal said....great way to look at it

MessyKat · 03-30-2006, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladydi
Still, I can't help but feel that I failed. I guess another positive is that now I have a pair of pants that fit! Time for a diet.
Thanks for listening to me!!!

You have NOT failed! I think sometimes we get so caught up in what we should do that we never do things we want to do. I don't think a new pair of jeans and 3 bras and some shoes are extraviant spending.

Don't feel guilty, you've done okay. You did not go further into debt, so GOOD FOR YOU!

MandiDawn · 03-30-2006, 12:48 PM

I think we all need some new stuff once in a while - and you need jeans that fit!!
You paid cash - that's the important thing, you didn't go deeper into debt. And think, last year, would you even have had the cash to pay for that stuff? Or would you have HAD to put it on your CC? that's what frugality is, saving in some areas so you can enjooy other areas.

ladydi · 03-30-2006, 07:23 PM

You guys are THE BEST!!!! Seriously, this forum is sooooo fantastic. You are all so understanding and validating. Who needs a therapist when you can just log on?

Regarding my little shopping expedition: it's true, I could rationalize the pants- and as someone else said, I never buy bras. But the shoes- definite indulgence. No way I can rationalize those. But yes, I guess I needed it. I have managed to scrounge up about 10k to put towards my debt since the beginning of the year, so I guess I was feeling a bit deprived. I was seeing a lot going out but nuttin' comin' in!! And yes, as someone else said, I paid cash and never in a million years would I have done that 4 months ago. Why bother when I have plastic? I guess I have learned a lot.
Back to business though. You all make me want to succeed at this; thank you for that!!

wendy · 03-30-2006, 07:31 PM

Just be glad you didn't have to buy ugly maternity clothes.

I can't wait until I can start losing weight and buy NON MATERNITY clothes. In the past, I've hated shopping because they don't make shirts long enough for me, but I'm actually looking forward to shopping...and even exercising!!

Minner77 · 04-21-2006, 02:14 AM

Sorry to sound a different voice, but...I think.... that other than the jeans, which were really needed, I'd suggest you take the bras and the shoes back, except that I just checked the post date and it's probably too late for that. You needed jeans, so I would've said great! Buy an extra pair if you finally find some that really fit, and spare yourself washing them over and over. But buying bras just because they're buy 2 get one free is a sales trap, and you didn't mention that you actually needed them, or the shoes.

I clearly don't know your own habits, so I'm not saying this is you, but so many people treat themselves to just this one thing and then just that and then just one little more --- but they're really not treats if they're part of a routine, or if they add up to these big CC debts I keep seeing. (People are often shocked to see just how often they buy themselves one little thing). We pay our CC off in full each month, which is a huge reason we have money to play with now. (Only use it in the first place because DH likes the handy list of where the money's gone!)

Interestingly, my DH makes a quite comfy salary and I've been a SAHM for years. Just started teaching a few writing classes at a local college because the opportunity fell into my lap, so I finally make a nice little sum to add, but for years it's been only his salary and we've still done fine, partly because it was nice to begin with, but also because we're disciplined savers and spenders. I could, if I wanted to, be one of those full-time shopper types, but that doesn't float my boat. Frankly, I have the money to be more indulgent, but I've learned to ask myself what better things we as a family could do with the money. Makes it easier to pass on yet another pair of adorable sandals, neat tote, cool sunglasses, etc. There are other things I want more, such as space in my house and fewer things to clean! (And, the house we'll soon be building on the land we bought.)

[If it makes you feel better, I get weak-kneed around books, and have to be restrained.... I am by no means militant about this! And, DH is a bit too, um, what's a good word.... tight?.... sometimes, I think, but let me tell ya, having a financial cushion is the best feeling in the world. And, since his employer is none too stable right now, we might have to fall back on some of what we've stashed, so we'll be that much more grateful for biting the bullet. Oh! And like you, when we were first starting out and I knew I just could NOT spend --- I just flat out quit going anywhere but the grocery store.

Cheers!
Mary