I need some encouragement

**Mom23boys** · 05-31-2006, 10:49 AM

Wanted to send you a hug.

**sarcophagus** · 05-31-2006, 03:56 PM

Thank you so much everyone!! I've tried the computer software and its just not for me, but i do have a notebook, which i once used religiously but don't anymore, I'm gonna start again!! I tend to write everything in a different notebook but it has everything i write down on random pages...not very helpful.

The newest dilemma, or lackthereof, DH has decided to quit his job ( I laid down the line and said not until you have another one). Well, he has another one which I think he will enjoy far more than the current one, however, it may pay less. That's gonna make everything even more difficult!!! Especially because we will no longer have medical and dental coverage...

I don't think it would work, letting DH handle the bills...he can't even pay his own unfortunately, i always have to remind him when his bills are due.

I've suggested using envelopes to him, but he's afraid of leaving money in our apartment, given the neighbourhood we live in where people tend to get shot/beaten/robbed...another reason why we MUST pay down our debts so we can move...

Oh so frustrating, but thanks for your encouragement, please, more advice if you've got it!!!

THANKS!!!

**frugalfarmwife** · 05-31-2006, 11:35 PM

Yikes, might not want to leave money in the apartment then, that could be a problem! What we do here is I PERSONALLY have the check card (debit) and hubby gets $5.00 here and there, if he needs something he has to ASK for the check card. Hubby does also have a CC we use for fuel only but he behaves with it and we pay it off monthly so pay no interest on it.

I wish you luck on the job front with him, that would have me tearing my hair out! I know how fortunate I am with a hubby that actually enjoys his job and has great benefits. Hopefully your hubby will settle into a routine soon.

kj

**Lorri** · 06-01-2006, 12:27 AM

Hope it all works out for you soon.

**sarcophagus** · 06-01-2006, 07:04 AM

Ok, so obviously I needed something drastic to scare DH. So, I decided to go through the monthly statement and add up all the unnecessary purchases, withdrawls and unknown purchases. What i got was a huge shock for myself. We spent in the last month alone...$1147...on needless crap!!!

I feel so ashamed. When I told DH, he didn' believe it, I showed him the numbers and now he does...hopefully this will turn things around a bit!!

**Lorelei** · 06-01-2006, 07:14 AM

Try not to feel ashamed. If you're spending that much without adding to your credit cards, that means you'll be able to get out of debt fairly fast. Just cutting that excess spending in half would give you over $500 a month to put against debt.

If that all went on credit cards, then hopefully it IS the wake-up call DH needs and will provide more motivation for you. Better to get a wake-up call and change than to continue spending excessively.

Good luck! You can turn this around.

**sarcophagus** · 06-01-2006, 10:58 AM

OK, so here is my plan. I'm going to open a "secret" savings account. Any money left over, and I mean down to the cent, is going in there where DH does not know. I'm gonna suprise him when its high enough, maybe that might inspire him as well. Of course, this is after a payment on our loans.

I hope to pay at least $600 on Dh's student loan a month, after the credit cards are paid off. We desperatly need to pay his off, he's neglected it for 3 years and his credit rating is terrible, we need that back up or we'll never get out of this place.

I plan on spending $120 a month on groceries. I work in a grocery type store and get a 15% discount, so all my shopping is gonna be from there (except when meat and fresh veggies are needed, we don't sell them).

I know it sounds terrible, but i can't skimp on my pets food. I give them good quality food and i have learned that giving animals slightly more expensive food will save you $$ in the long run on vets bills.

I have also started to take vitamins for the days that I can't eat a good quality meal.

I'm gonna call the cable company and cancel the cable, and I'm gonna call the cell phone company to try to get better rates.

I can't think of anything else. I already shop at thrift stores and the dollar store.

Thanks for your kind words!!

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-01-2006, 11:09 AM

You go! Sounds like you have a great plan in mind. You might want to look into opening an online savings account at ING, the interest rates are GREAT, right now the regular savings is at 4.15%

Good luck!

kj

**sarcophagus** · 06-01-2006, 12:04 PM

Thanks Frugalfarmwife, I'm gonna look into that!!

I've got a question...I have my credit card maxed out and I'm paying 18% interest on it, would it make more sense to transfer that debt to my student loan, which is only 4%? I have enough, plus I'm expecting some money in a few months???

Would that make sense?

Thanks

**ewokgirl** · 06-01-2006, 03:57 PM

Since you said you're in school for another year, can you move into student housing? Most colleges have apartments for married couples for cheap. Not necessarily the nicest digs, but that's not really the point right now.

Why won't your DH eat sandwiches or leftovers? Does he just not like them, or do they make him feel poor or what? Is he trying to live the good life in the eyes of his coworkers? Just trying to understand his insistence on eating out every day. And I'm sorry, but if you're having to take vitamins to compensate for poor nutrition on some days, yet he's eating out to the tune of $10 every work day... well, something is seriously wrong with that picture! Have you mentioned that to him? That just made me mad to read.

My DH would love to eat out every day, but he knows our budget won't support that. We compromise. I make meals that create delicious leftovers, and he has money to eat out once a week.

I think you're smart to cancel the cable. I'm a SAHW, and that's the first thing we did when I quit teaching. Yes, we sometimes miss the sci-fi and Disney channels, but realistically, we don't need to watch that much TV anyway.

**marei** · 06-01-2006, 09:29 PM

With your husband changing jobs this might be your golden opportunity since there will be less money. Figure out what he can take for lunch and no more $10.00 lunches every day. I'm sure somebody has already mentioned this before but it is a really good idea to track all spending for a month just to see where it goes and then you have a better idea where you can cut back. I might keep that secret bank account a secret for a long time - be sure to tell them not to mail statements to your home. I used to work in a bank and when were asked this we just made a notation and it never happened.
Good luck to you, sounds like you are really trying hard and I hope you get some co-operation.

**sarcophagus** · 06-02-2006, 05:56 AM

Well, everyone, Dh got the new job. He has a trial day on Monday. If the employer likes his work then he's hired, if not then he keeps his other job. Hopefully he likes him!!!

To explain, especially to Ewokgirl, DH didnt lack for anything growing up. His parents were poor but he still got everything he wanted. I think they sent the wrong message because now he thinks that you can still afford things if your poor, which you can't, he didn't see his parents struggling to give him everything at the cost of themselves at times. I'm trying to help him see this. He does not like eating sandwiches because he hates them. The bread meat combo is not his favorite. He doesn't like leftovers but I've never asked why. I sent him with leftovers yesterday and he ate it. He IS willing to try these things, it just takes time.

I also mean for him to take vitamins as well since I'm laying down the law about eating out so much. He got the eyeopener when he saw how much WE spent (not just him, mostly him, but i'm also guilty).

I'm trying to live through example, like yesterday I bought lunch for 0.55 cents. I also found free coupons for a case of pop and a 2L. I made sure I should him how proud I was of myself. Its slowly working.

Thanks for you replies!!!

**carolyns** · 06-10-2006, 02:02 PM

i would say hang on until you are out of school then you will be able to live a more comfortable lifestyle when you are able to work after graduation. one year is not a long time to wait!