Having a difficult time

**pammy** · 06-19-2006, 11:39 AM

So I've been MIA around here for a while. I still lurk and read, though.

I've been a member of another debt reduction board for many months. As we're trying to get out of debt I've been back and forth between there and here. Still learning, still trying new things. We've been following Dave Ramsey's baby steps.

Here's where I'm having difficulties: This journey is pretty difficult. People slip, backslide, fall off the wagon, mess up... however you want to put it. Yet, when you own up to it this other board really jumps down your throat. Hard. It is tee-totally 100% that exact way or else.

Now, here's my thoughts... *Warning,

* This journey is hard enough to get through without always being afraid to write what you feel. I know most of this on the net is pretty much anonymous. But why go through the trouble of posting day in and day out if all you're writing is a big ole lie? People are human and make mistakes, are they not? Yet, when they admit their mess ups they get blasted in cyber-world. Is that really helpful? I just feel we all need encouragement from each other, whatever road you are on. I feel we need to help pick someone up when they fall. NOT kick them when they are down or have done bad. It was even suggested to lie or keep it to yourself. Huh? I'm just debating to myself really if the other board is a place I really want to go back to, a place that encourages you to, basically, lie. *off soapbox*

Everyone is different and they have different goals and dreams. It might not be the same as the next person. I'm just really wondering if there is one 'perfect' plan that you MUST follow exactly, that fits everyone. Aren't we all (the one's following Dave Ramsey's way) still aiming for the same things, to be out of debt and take charge of our financial futures? Is it that way, and only that way, or the highway??

Anways, enough of that babbling. I'm really here to say that this board is great for S U P P O R T! I really do appreciate that about this board. Cyber-hugs for all around. Thank you, from me to you all.

**homesteadmamma** · 06-19-2006, 11:53 AM

You are so right, it is difficult getting out of debt. And I don't care what anyone says - people fail. I've done it many times. They fall off the bandwagon, they might splurge, they might add something to their cc, they might not follow all the rules to getting out of debt - it's a FACT OF LIFE. Getting out of debt takes time and we need to encourage each other through it, rather than blast them because they make a mistake or don't follow Dave's program, Mary Hunt's program or other programs or heaven forbid they don't follow our ways to getting out of debt. It's what works best for each individual. Some will get out of debt quickly, others will take a longer time.

We need to be encouraging each other as we continue on this journey. It's not an easy road.

Hang in there okay, we are here to encourage you, no matter how long it takes. I know you haven't posted much of late, yet I also know from your past posts, you've been working hard to getting out of debt. I applaud you for the work you've done so far.

**MirandaK** · 06-19-2006, 12:19 PM

That's what I love about this board...everyone may have a different way of doing things but they are so supportive even if you go a different route!

**Dixie** · 06-19-2006, 12:22 PM

Sometimes I feel like I'm living a lie even belonging to a Frugal board. I'm basically a spendthrift who wants to be frugal.

**Sara Noel** · 06-19-2006, 12:24 PM

I hear negative feedback from time to time on how I run the sites, but the primary focus is to share and support. The fastest way to get removed from here isn't spamming...it's disrupting the enjoyment of the forums.

Frugality is a delicate topic for some. Debt reduction is a serious topic. No one needs some freak behind a keyboard hurting others. I encourage diversity, but don't have tolerance when it comes to people trying to undermine my rules here or causing problems. Plenty of other places allow it. Hoping that you can still enjoy the other community you visit.

As always, I encourage people to continue to share with me when they experience anything hurtful here or on any of the network sites. I can't address issues if I'm not aware of them.

**babetteq** · 06-19-2006, 12:25 PM

Getting and staying out of debt is hard. Otherwise there wouldn't be boards to help people do it. Our entire culture is based around trying to make poeple spend as much money as possible - even if they don't have the money to spend.
I think that if a board is not supporting you, then why go to it? Read a book, talk to poeple who will actually help, not just make you feel shamed. Because THAT is not helpful.

big hugs to you
babs

**Sara Noel** · 06-19-2006, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Dixie

Sometimes I feel like I'm living a lie even belonging to a Frugal board. I'm basically a spendthrift who wants to be frugal.

Dixie, We like you anyway. lol

**Darlene** · 06-19-2006, 12:45 PM

Glad to help you any way I can.

Nice to see you posting again.

**starsapphire** · 06-19-2006, 12:52 PM

No matter where you are in your frugal/financial journey, just being here reading/posting on this board is a step in the right direction.

I haven't been a member of this board for that long, but reading/posting here has helped to cement it into my mind that I WILL have my CC's paid off by the end of this year. Reading other poster's posts and siggys that they have paid off their cars or CC's have made me envious and determined to do it also.

Its not always easy. I have to dip into my EF yet again this month to do it but thats okay. It will not be this way forever. Just for 5 1/2 more months.

I've never had a negative post inspire me towards a positive outlook or goal. Thats what I like about this board. Most everyone is supportive of each other.

**celina** · 06-19-2006, 01:04 PM

hey i belong to a homesteading board... and i dont homestead just long too....and well by submerging yourself here..i'm sure you've picked up a few things....

**pammy** · 06-19-2006, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Sara Noel

I hear negative feedback from time to time on how I run the sites, but the primary focus is to share and support. The fastest way to get removed from here isn't spamming. It's disrupting the enjoyment of the forums.

Frugality is a delicate topic for some. Debt reduction is a serious topic. No one needs some freak behind a keyboard hurting others. I encourage diversity, but don't have tolerance when it comes to people trying to undermine my rules here or causing problems. Plenty of other places allow it. Hoping that you can still enjoy the other community you visit.

As always, I encourage people to continue to share with me when they experience anything hurtful here or on any of the network sites. I can't address issues if I'm not aware of them.

You won't here me give negative feedback on how you're running this place, I think this board is great!

Hope I didn't come off the wrong way, I think this site's great. And the reason why I posted that other situation, cause I think everyone here is basically NICE to everyone, and I for one appreciate that. Totally another board that I was talking about.

I've seen some differences here posted before, but can't remember anyone being all out hurtful to someone else. It's just not constructive. This board's great and I thank you for doing a great job here.

**christina33** · 06-19-2006, 01:59 PM

This board is supportive and that is the great thing about it..The journey is hard and the struggle is long .. I backslide.. sometimes it is for a day or longer but reading this baord always helps me to get back on track.. So keep coming back because we will support you

**nodmicks** · 06-19-2006, 02:09 PM

I think this board is the best!!! Keep posting away Pammyboat! I love reading them!!!

**Sara Noel** · 06-19-2006, 02:22 PM

I knew you didn't mean here. I just meant, hopefully that type of thing won't happen here often. It does happen though. I do the best I can to have it happen infrequently.

FV isn't for everyone. lol That's for sure. What I do know is that its success is partially attributed to how I run things.

I make decisions daily and always have the best intentions for the community overall.

I started FV when my own little family was experiencing tough financial times. I understand what it's like.

As a community there will be countless topics that we don't all agree on and there will never be just one way of thinking or doing;however, there will be respect because I demand it.

Integrity is everything.

People can have free for all forums somewhere else and that's the great thing about the internet... There are lots of places to visit for all sorts of things.