Killing the bird in the hand

**dcompton** · 01-13-2007, 08:05 PM

I have finally made the decision to quit my part time job.

I have been doing some editing for a group of nuns I used to belong to. They were mandated (several years ago) to get all their historical documents translated into the various languages the congregation uses (the originals are in Italian). This is a project that could go on for years and years. I tried to quit last year (I seem to send them an annual letter of resignation in January), and they talked me out of it. They insist they don't want anyone else to do it since I know their language and have the background to understand the context of the documents. I caved in last January, told them they would have to pay me more (which they agreed to), and I carried on.

But I am very, very tired of it. This open ended project on top of my full time job is exhausting. I never seem to have any free time, and if I make time, I'm always thinking I really ought to working on the editing instead of just sitting around listening to NPR and playing Freecell! Spoils the fun. And the apartment is always in a state of wild disarray because I just don't have the time or energy to stay on top of it.

The income has been very helpful, and I am uneasy about tossing it overboard. It was always a nice psychological cushion -- in a bind, I could always spend a few more hours working on their projects, and it certainly helped pay off some debts. But I've decided enough is enough. I have been doing this off and on, always reluctantly and not very happily, for eleven and a half years. That is way too long. So I have written the sister in charge, telling her I will not accept anything new, and will decide in a few days what to do with what I have now (three BOOKS!). I will probably just finish up the first rough edit and give it all back to them. I can get most of it done, I think, this coming week since I have have an extra day off, if I type til my fingers fall off, or certainly by the end of the month.

As I said, I'm nervous about burning this bridge, but I really want to be free of it. I cannot even imagine what it will feel like not to have that hanging over my head, with no end in sight for years. I'm trying not to think about this work bringing in the Last Check

from them!

And now I will have to get REALLY serious about this frugality business! I'm counting on all of you for inspiration. But most of all, I just can't wait for this dreary job to be over with. I'm sure it's the right decision. Sorry for the long post, but writing it out makes it seem real.

**PrairieRose** · 01-13-2007, 08:21 PM

I can relate to how you're feeling. I had a job a few years ago that got to be such a drudgery that I dreaded it something fierce. You probably won't miss the money much b/c you can make up for it with frugality---the things you didn't have the time or energy to do while doing the job. Just relax and think about having some time for yourself for a change.

**Darlene** · 01-13-2007, 09:23 PM

Everyone needs change to grow. Time for you to spread your wings & fly.
Know that you gave them your best and I'm betting you'll fly high with fresh air & a gentle warm wind piloting you onto a new adventure. Enjoy!

**Nada.Leona** · 01-13-2007, 10:05 PM

We're here for support, sister! I'm glad you've made this decision, if it is as dreary and dragging as you're saying it is. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of anything else. Keep us posted, we're here to help each other!

**marie_squared** · 01-13-2007, 11:23 PM

ive actually been thinking about picking up a part time job for the past couple of weeks but come back to the same idea at the end of the day. the time that i would spend outside of the apartment and the extra money that i would earn.. where would i really spend it? would it all just go towards convenience packaged food cause id be too tired to make things from scratch? would my frame of thinking change from actually wanting to stay home and watch a movie with dh to feeling that i "deserve" a night out to the movies and maybe dinner since i work so much and then any real extra income that ive brought in is gone in a few hours, never to see my wallet again...

i can see where it would be tough to turn down a nun. but you gotta think, they know that too and theyre gonna want you to stay, be firm with what is right for YOU.

**danni** · 01-14-2007, 12:58 AM

If you really don't want to be there you should leave.
I stayed at my full-time job even though I absolutely hated it and started having anxiety attacks. I'd be trying to take a breath and couldn't get any air, they got so bad that I would almost pass out. After that I finally decided enough is enough and quit the full time job and when I talked to my other boss about more hours he offered me a supervisors position.

Anyways what I'm getting at is, don't wait till things get really bad deal with them now. Hope everything works out for you.

**JustJoy** · 01-14-2007, 09:58 AM

I agree with danni! I had a F/T job making 35K a year. The benefits were awesome too, but my health both mentally and physically began to suffer big time. The company I worked for started doing lay off after lay off and each time more and more work was piled on me. This went on for over a year and right before I quit I was doing the work of 4 people with no extra pay or time! I would come home in tears everyday. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and my anxiety was thru the roof. DH and I discussed it and decided to see if we could make it on his salary alone. It was rough in the beginning, but it's been almost 5 years now and we are doing pretty well.

to you! I'm sure things will work out fine

**Stormy** · 01-14-2007, 10:30 AM

Good for you!

There are times in our lives when it's time for change; no matter what others may want us to do. You know what's best for you and you've made a choice that fits what you need. Letting go isn't always easy, but when we let go that allows room for God to bring other things into out lives that we would otherwise miss out on. And I'm sure that He'll provide someone else who can do the job for them; and by you moving on, they'll be able to find that person who will find joy, peace and contentment in doing the work for them.

**Telephus44** · 01-14-2007, 02:42 PM

WTG OP! MY DH did the same thing this December. He was doing some part-time consulting work for a former employer - great pay ($55/hr) and not a heck of a lot of work, and he could do it from home, but he just got frustrated at having to deal with customers and other things that weren't in the job description but seemed to "pop up" all the time. Even though he made about $5000 in three months, we decided we didn't need the money that badly and the stress level wasn't worth it. So go you!

**Cricket1** · 01-14-2007, 09:44 PM

If you dread it, give it up. Think of how happy you'll be typing your fingers off to us instead of doing the books!!!! The nuns probably won't be surprised--you told them how you felt last year and I'm sure they knew that throwing more money your way wouldn't keep you happy forever.

**Daisygirl** · 01-17-2007, 05:49 AM

I think you made a wise decision. I got fired from a job I hated because I did not have the nerve to quit. The feeling of relief was awesome. As for not knowing what to do with yourself, well, I had that problem too. It actually caused anxiety having downtime. I simply made a list of projects I wanted to get completed and tackled them one by one. Now my house is totally redone except for one wall in the stairway. It feels so good to have all that finished.

Congratulations! A new chapter of your life is beginning~!

**bumplett** · 01-17-2007, 08:15 AM

congrats on the decision & good luck!!

**FrugalMomof3** · 01-17-2007, 08:32 AM

I think if you want to give this job up then give it up, it's your choice and you know what's best for you. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

**TheRootedNomad** · 01-17-2007, 09:14 AM

Let go and enjoy.....we'll love hearing from you more in you're FREE (with no I should be working) time!

**Cele** · 01-17-2007, 09:20 AM

While you're under no such obligation, perhaps the transition would be easier for all involved if you helped identify your replacement. Seems like it would be a fabulous job for a graduate student in theology or someone in seminary. Then, you could stay on as "the answer person" with an agreement of say, no more than two hours per week.

Everybody wins--you keep a little extra income without burning a bridge, a deserving student gets a source of income, and the Sisters get their translations.

Just a thought...