Combining Bank Accounts

[Stella]

I am getting married next year and we have been thinking that we need to combine our bank accounts. I am looking for advice on how you manage the spending of your spouse. I know it seems like a silly questions but we have both just been accountable for our own spending. For the past three years we have lived together and split the rent 50/50. He pays for all utilites and I pay for groceries and we each pay our own car payments, insurance and such.

How did all of you agree on spending habits? My mom gives my dad $100 week cash and thats his to spend save or whatever.

[Kitten20]

My boyfriend and I share our money, but we do have seperate accounts. The rent, utility bills, etc. either come out of one paycheck or another though, depending on who got paid when the bill is due (all budgeted out in advance). I take care of our finances soley. We discuss major purchases together. Small purchases, he usually calls me about to make sure we have the $$. I am pretty on top of it all, so I can tell him immediately. Generally I just make sure that he's left with $50/wk of "free money" to do as he pleases.

[Kitten20]

I realize I didn't really answer your question! Hah. I deal with the finances mostly because I am better at it and don't stress as easily. Honestly though, sometimes I wish he took care of all of the number crunching b/c it gets tiring and it is stressful. I would just sit down with your hubby-to-be and work something out. Congrats on your marriage and good luck.

[gentledenny]

i think you need to sit down and discuss everything about money before the marriage. I do not think you should combine accounts til after the marriage if at all. Is very hard to keep track if both are not very careful. It is the end of month, he finds the best motorcycle deal of the month and he knows there is still 200 dollars in the account, on the same night you just found out your daughter did get a date tomorrow to the prom and you aint got time to make a dress so you head to ROSS. i mean hey this is special and you know you got 200 in the bank.

[pita1213]

we have one checking account. all the paychecks go there and all the bills are paid from there. sometimes i really think i need to put dh on an allowance, but he's gotten better about spending. if there's an issue with spending on random stuff, i'd suggest both of you get a weekly allowance of money to do what you want and the rest stay in the checking or savings account. if you both have an allowance, it won't seem like one is being punished for spending habits.
talk with you SO and decide how things are going to be paid for. is all the money going to go into one account and everything get paid for out of it? or do you want to open a joint account and both put in a certain amount from each check to paid for things like rent and food but maintain your current accounts for car payments, etc. or you can just keep things the way they are.
my dsis and her soon to be ex kept seperate accounts. she paid for certain things and he paid for certain things. in their case it ended up being hte best way as he started spending money on stupid stuff but couldn't access her money. but that's a whole other issue.
if the 2 of you decide to have a joint account, i still recomend you still keep your current accounts open. i have one only in my name that is going to be our EF account. since it's only in my name, it doesn't show up in the list of accounts when we log into the bank online. it's an out of sight out of mind thing for dh. he knows it's there, but since he doesn't see it regularly, he doesn't see it as money to spend.

[lisettelovebug]

Me and Dh had a joint checking/savings account even before we got married that we both had money direct deposited into. Then we also had our own spending accounts. This kept it seperate and made it easier. Dh would often buy $1 items on his debit card so this made it easier for me to keep track of and less chance of him messing up the checking account. We just have a regular debit card for our joint checking - no checking card with symbol. Then we both have our own accounts with visa check card which are connected to the savings. This way if one of us messes up, they transfer the money over and only charge $2 instead of $20. Now that I am a SAHM, we only have his income coming in and he direct deposits $30 into his individual account, $50 into savings and the rest into checking.

[annymoll]

We have a joint checking and we each have a personal checking account. Same for savings.

[Marie78]

I am thinking about this same thing. We each make around the same amount of money and have our own benefits through our jobs. We have individual accounts and share most expenses equally. There have been a few times where I have been out of work in the last couple of years and my fiance has had to contribute more $ towards the expenses.

I liked the idea of combining our income last year and now I am rethinking this idea. We both are on equal footing financially at this point, and I would like to keep it seperate until we are officially married, at which point we will probably open a joint account for our joint expenses, but keep our own accounts too (at least I will).

[Telephus44]

We do the his, hers, and ours accounts. When we were first living together, we each had our own paychecks deposited in our individual accounts, and once a week we'd each transfer the same amount into the joint account (so that the joint account was always half my money and half his money). That account was strictly for rent, phone, etc. We each paid for our own gas, car payments, credit cards, etc. If we wanted to go out to eat, once of us covered it from our personal account.

After we got married we kept the same system, and it worked great until we started to have really uneven income (we always had uneven income - he out-earns me - but we ended up in a situation where he out-earned my by a LOT) and at the same time we ended up having a lot of credit card debt on his card for joint expenses since we didn't have a joint credit card - so we revised our system so that the majority of our paychecks are deposited in the joint account and we each get the same $$ amount of allowance money. This works out great for us because now we don't have to bicker about how much I spend on makeup or he spends on computer stuff. Also, any extra bonus income now goes to joint.

We didn't change this system until we'd been married for three years or so - it was just a natural evolution of our situation.

[Darlene]

Not a silly question. Big thing is communication, never be afraid to talk about money matters. Talk about where you both see things 1 yr, 5 yrs, 10 years down the road & how managing your money gets you where you want to go. Need to have similar thoughts on money and how it's spent/saved or you're in for a rocky time. Talk often because things change and things come up that you need to budget for.

When we decided to get married everything went into one account & everything was paid from it. He doesn't like to go shopping so I know what is in the account is what is really there. If he did cash a check it's recorded in the register. Big purchases are discussed. I'm the bill payer & if I see that things are tight this week/month I'll let him know so he's clued in. Again there is that communication.

I'm just of the mind if you are as one you should be able to trust each other & have never understood couples having many accounts. Just my thing. Married 23 years next month and looking forward to sharing life and bank accounts with him for many years to come.

[Stella]

Thank you for all of your answers. It's just scary when you have just been able to do whatever you want with your money because it yours, to thinking about someone else also dipping into the pot.

I do have one more question, did you combine your saving accounts also? We both have signifigant savings accounts and I am wondering if we should keep them seperate? My idea is leaning towards taking out $XXX of each of ours and start that with opening a joint account and leave the rest seperate. On the other hand it would be nice to have EVERYTHING joint.

Any comments on that?

[annymoll]

Thank you for all of your answers. It's just scary when you have just been able to do whatever you want with your money because it yours, to thinking about someone else also dipping into the pot.

I do have one more question, did you combine your saving accounts also? We both have signifigant savings accounts and I am wondering if we should keep them seperate? My idea is leaning towards taking out $XXX of each of ours and start that with opening a joint account and leave the rest seperate. On the other hand it would be nice to have EVERYTHING joint.

Any comments on that?

I would keep the personal savings accounts as they are.I would not dip into either to open a joint account. I would open a joint savings once married.Congrats on the upcoming wedding!!

[MandiDawn]

I just got married in July, but we dated for 8years, 6 of which we lived together - We have seperate accounts. We both work, and make roughly the same amount of money. We divided up the bills so we are paying equal amounts and then all extra money is ours to do as we see fit. If he wants to buy some part for his motorcycle, fine. It don't take away from me wanting to buy some new clothes or whatever. Maybe someday it will change, but we are both happy with it. I think that's key - as long as you are both comfortable, it dont' matter what others think.
I think the biggest thing for me was, no way was I handing my money over to my DH, I want to and like to budget, so therefore, I cannot expect him to do something (give me control of money) that I myself was not willing to do.

[Libby]

This subject hits home with me but I have never gone through and opened a joint account with anyone. Maybe its b/c of my past where its been demonstrated that I cant trust anyone else or they wont be held accountable for their spending. Its your personal choice but I can honestly say I dont think Im a big fan of putting ALL your eggs in one basket up front....maybe after several years of marriage or if there is necessity to do it asap.

My ideal situation to start off would be like Telephus. His/Hers/Ours. As long as you both agree got put in the same amount of money off of each paycheque and agree upon what it is to be used for this should work out. You each pay your own credit cards, spending etc and you're held accountable. If you spent all of your money you are NOT allowed to dip into the OUR money b/c that pays the bills etc. Its like an allowance system.

This can get broken down on several levels and be as detailed or as simple as you want it to be.....just dont be afraid to talk about it as Darlene said. I feel if you're afraid to talk about finanaces with your fiance, are you really able to be married?

An ex bf and I had started planning our lives together in every aspect. Since Im such a bargain hunter and generally more creative with the bucks he let me plan a budget for him and he'd try to stick to it for the most part - which surprisingly he did! There are always exceptions but I was the one who paid his bills (using his money) or reminded him to do so and taught him to think of the upcoming events in the near future etc. His bills were always being paid and on time and w/o late fees AND he had money to spend etc. I got him to be financially responsible and curbed a lot of his excess/unnecessary spending.

He has thanked me for this many times now but honestly its been a while, I wonder if he's kept it up or is back to just 'getting by' again OY!

[Edna_E]

One thing to keep in mind is that individual accounts remain available in case of death - I know, we NEVER like to plan on that - and in some states joint accounts are supposed to be frozen until probate. I've always thought that was terribly short-sighted on the part of some legislators (like there are no bills that need paid?) but would check inot the details where I live if I were you. Ohterwise, I'd opt for his-hers-ours for the sake of ensuring that everything never gets frozen - also that can be convenient in cases of fraud.