Mislabeling in school

**MissSeetonFan** · 11-17-2011, 06:21 PM

How often does this happen?

It is scary how one can be "labeled" and what can happen afterwards. One of my cousins has two children. The oldest has developmental delays and learning delays. She is 9 or 10 and in the 1st grade. Her younger sister was "labeled" the same way. So they held her back and treated her exactly like her older sister. Except, she isn't. They just assumed and then treated her the same way. And somehow, the tests all reflected the assumed delays.

Until they moved her to a new school away from her sister and the teachers who "knew" how to treat her. Then amazingly, she tested better and started learning better. She is catching up.

On the flip side, my oldest brother was valedictorian and in to highly intellectual academic pursuits in junior high (middle school) and high school. Next brother, smart too if not valedictorian. Then me, similar in pursuits to oldest brother. With the precedent set that we were "smart", all the teachers assumed that the rest of us would have similar interests, grades and want to have the same classes.

It drove my younger siblings nuts to always be compared to us older kids. Teachers were assuming that they would want to be in academic decathlon or chess club or the math club. NOT! Some of them chose things specifically to distance themselves from that perception. Art club, non-honors track even though they qualified, whatever. Plus, my youngest brother had reading problems that no one addressed because of the perception. He later "cured" himself.

Anybody else have this happen on either end of the spectrum?

**Pianolady** · 11-17-2011, 10:41 PM

Well, sometimes "testing" can be flat out wrong. I remember our daughter being denied admittance into advanced math classes in elementary school even though her teacher said she needed more challenge. Her testing wasn't "fast enough" to qualify, although she never, ever missed a math problem (we're talking 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade). What the teacher thought didn't matter, she had to take the tests faster or she didn't qualify.

They put into her head she wasn't good at math, when she was actually quite good at it...just didn't like to hurry. What a crock. So, she sat bored for years until she hit high school and whizzed right through all the advanced math and then as much college credit courses she could fit in. The school actually held her back until she could choose her own courses and they couldn't stop her.

**joyofsix** · 11-18-2011, 07:02 AM

My ds was " labelled" ADHD and a few other " you're not smart" labels. We disagreed. It turned out he has vision problems. What if we had gone along with them?

**TigerGirl1226** · 11-18-2011, 07:11 AM

My friend's child was recently "labeled" as a child who couldn't follow instructions and consistently ignored his teacher. Turns out he has now failed 2 hearing screens. The teacher is still insisting it's behavioral, but the poor baby can't hear properly.

I don't think the labels are always wrong, but I feel to some extent there is a rush to put kids in a box that categorizes them easily for teachers.

**shortstack** · 11-18-2011, 05:12 PM

ADHD is not a "you're not smart" label. On the contrary. Most children who have ADHD/ADD are highly, highly intelligent and some even test at genius level.

Originally Posted by joyofsix

My ds was " labelled" ADHD and a few other " you're not smart" labels. We disagreed. It turned out he has vision problems. What if we had gone along with them?

**joyofsix** · 11-18-2011, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by shortstack

ADHD is not a "you're not smart" label. On the contrary. Most children who have ADHD/ADD are highly, highly intelligent and some even test at genius level.

I put that wrong. I meant he was labelled ADHD and then was given other labels that basically said we don't know what to do let's send him to the resource room. I didn't mean ADHD was one of the " not smart" labels. Anyway, it turns out his squirming was his attempt to focus his eyes, not ADHD.

**shortstack** · 11-20-2011, 08:25 AM

I was hoping I had just misread that

Originally Posted by joyofsix

I put that wrong. I meant he was labelled ADHD and then was given other labels that basically said we don't know what to do let's send him to the resource room. I didn't mean ADHD was one of the " not smart" labels. Anyway, it turns out his squirming was his attempt to focus his eyes, not ADHD.

**nuisance26** · 11-20-2011, 09:46 AM

~One of the many reasons I haven't had ds tested and tested and tested some more. He has a myriad of issues. DD #1 does too. But without labels, people don't treat them any certain way beyond how they would treat a shy child. I can see that people are trying to figure out what they "have" though.
See once you hear "autistic spectrum" or "ADD" your brain pulls up every child you've run into with those labesl, all the shows you've seen, all the articles you've read, all the stories you've heard about so-and-so's kid and your behavior toward the person isn't your normal behavior. You unconsciously make assumptions about how the person would theoretically behave or react in certain situations based on your experiences. That's prejudicial thinking.
It's only human to want to approach a person in a way you think they'll understand you but the truth is, spectrum disorders are so varied that the label truly means nothing. Especially since almost ever child who carries one label also carries another one for another issue as well. Trying to approach them all the same way is a recipe for disaster.
My second cousins have been failed in a system of labels and low expectations. It's heartbreaking.
Labels really only help qualified therapists, parents who are working with qualified therapists or parents using correctly targeted therapeutic materials to perform certain therapies at home.
I think special ed teachers are caught between a rock and a hard place. They've been given an impossible task. The best they can do is help as many as they can even though they know that mistakes will be made. The likelihood of labeling mistakes in kids is high since so many disorder overlap and contradict each other.
As a mom to kids with issues, I can attest to the difficulty in just managing two.~

**FrabjousDay** · 11-20-2011, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by nuisance26

Labels really only help qualified therapists, parents who are working with qualified therapists or parents using correctly targeted therapeutic materials to perform certain therapies at home.

Absolutely. As a therapist, I see people grab onto labels in hopes of miraculous change and insight; in the end it's often more frustrating and limiting than it is helpful. There are labels I use because they help me communicate with other professionals, provide education to families and schools, and inform my approach to working with that person, but they are only useful up to a certain point. It's more important that I learn about the individual, their family, challenges, strengths, etc with open eyes and a sense of curiosity/discovery...relying on labels creates blind spots.

**Telephus44** · 11-20-2011, 05:14 PM

I am always amazed at people on both sides of the debate. On one side, people are upset because they won't or can't get diagnosed/labeled. On the other side, people are upset because they are diagnosed/labeled with something. People on both sides get offended and all worked up.

Guess what? I carry a lot of labels. Woman. Mom. Wife. Short. Smart. White. And all of these serve a purpose. Each one is a group that I am a part of. Sure none of these define me in my entirety, but to ignore them and pretend that they are meaningless is also folly.

And yes, I have a son who is diagnosed with autism.

**ansley** · 11-28-2011, 09:17 PM

My oldest was held back in 1st grade for an 80 in reading and never allowed to try for honor classes or extra stuff until high school. Now he is in beta club, honor classes and etc. He was board not slow & shouldn't have been labeled slow. He was called names and picked on for "failing".

My dd on the other hand does need extra help. But she can't get the help she needs because the school hasn't "labeled" her.

**oheoh's momma** · 11-28-2011, 10:11 PM

My son was labeled stupid his gpa in high school was a 1.4. he would not score well on tests did not do homework. goofed off they thought he was stupid. He started this school senior year so no one had ever had him has a student before. Poor mentally challenged boy. he took the ACT and scored a 31 they called me to ask what the he** was wrong with him. Then to make it worse they had barley seen me before at the school oh you are paige's mom. Straight A never in trouble. boy yes they label....

**Trishagirl** · 11-29-2011, 06:57 AM

My second son wasn't labeled but had trouble in his math class but we met w/teacher and found out it was her style of teaching. We also worked w/counselor but son was an under achiever so it didn't help. He graduated w/his class and went on to college but quit cause wasn't studying just messing around. College wasn't for him. He has a job now & is happy with that!