If your kids don't want to go on with their education, what will you do or....

[homesteadmamma]

Say about it? Will you try to force them to get their education or will you support them in their decision?

[guest2]

I think that each person has to find their own path in life. Two of my boys want to go to college, but are planniing on working for a few years first to earn money to go. The other son wants to go into the military and later take advantage of the GI bill so he can go into law enforcement.

In my family, growing up, we were told that we were all going to college. It was not even an option not to go. One of my brothers had no desire to go and this caused all kinds of conflict between him and my parents. He was involved in ROTC on high school and joined the Navy. He went on to become a Navy SEAL. He is now living civilian life and going to college, but now it is his choice to do so and he is doing well in it. If he ahd been forced to go, he would have ended up just dropping out.

[canadian gardener]

we did put some, not a lot of pressure on dd in the beginning. She wasn't sure what she wanted, and we just said, while you figure it all out, at least attend and get a degree. Figure it out more later.

At that time she was ticked, but she didn't have a job, no prospects of one, nor did she have any idea what she would like to do in any other career path (even like a 6 week training to be a cashier)

We weren't accepting her just hanging out waiting for the universe to pop a job in her path, or for her to suddenly have a career path open up etc.

She basically wanted to meet and marry a guy and settle down and have babies. that was her career plan if you wanted one from her.

So she did start college as a time killer to start with.

Now it is much much more.

The other day she was heading out the door and she and I were talking about marriage, and I said not for the first time (or last) that there were worse things in life than not being married (and I named the rather abusive and controlling husband of an old friend)

She stopped, looked up and me and in a thoughtful way, she said how much her university degree meant to her now, that it was opening doors to her

and then she recalled a former close friend who was also homeschooled, but who ran away from home, got pregnant and married the fellow (who is a bit feckless, lived with his mother and made her quit breastfeeding the baby so he could babysit the child, while she went out shovelling snow for money to live on).

She said, "we both wanted the same things" (referring to a decent husband, lots of cute babies, a nice home) and she is locked into a baby with a guy who isn't even able to bring home enough to feed or house them anywhere near adequately,

and I've got a whole future ahead of me. I can do anything I want.

The only difference is that I've been in college the last few years and she ran away, got pregnant and married way too soon to a bit of a loser.

She can still catch up, but it will take a lot more work. What a difference a few years makes.

I think that was one of our watershed moments in dd's life. She still fully expects and wants to meet and marry the right guy, but she is also taking responsibility for her life, and working to get an education so that she isn't dependant on her life going a particular way.

I laughed with her for a moment, and said, so you can afford your horse ranch right??? and she lit up and laughed and left for school.

The summer and part time jobs she has had have also opened her eyes to what is and isn't out there for a girl without any post secondary education. She has done the hotel cleaning lady job, worked at the church, and right now serves coffee and donuts at the all Canadian Donut chain of Tim Hortons (bit of patriotic spirit there LOL)

But now she gets it.

Her education gives her choices.

[sunshine]

Neither of my son's planned to attend college. My oldest wanted to join the Marines, but 3 blood clots and associated emergency surgeries thwarted his plans. He's working part time and attending college part time.

My middle son is planning on joining the Air Force next year - he has a college back up plan in case they don't accept him for some reason.

My dd isn't sure what she plans to do-- she's 14.

I have always told my kids that I will support what ever they decide to do with their lives as long as it is legal and moral (I won't support theives, or prostitutes ) and that they can live at home for free as long as they are working or attending college. If they ever decide to just quit it all--- they'll pay rent/board.

[Guest1]

I will try to point out pros & cons to them....using myself and their dad as "case in point" examples - here we are in our 30's still trying to finish our degrees.....

Katie's gung-ho college - I support her 100%....

Will's gung-ho priesthood - I support him 100%....

Belle is gung-ho convent - I support her 100%....

Renee is gung-ho BK Drive-thru - eh - there's still time!

"Train up a child" to me means, help them find their given bent & live it to its fullest....I just want productive members of society - good citizens who will vote, pick up litter off the roadside, and still come to see their momma a few times a year!!

[lucy979]

I want dd and ds to go to college but if they don't want to it is their decision. I will be there to support in whatever choices they make.

[mrscornbread]

Higher education is non-negotiable in my home. Everyone will go to college and FINISH if I have to take them there myself...and they all know it!

[AmyMCGS]

Growing up, I don't remember ever questioning that I would go to college~ it was which college and what major.

I would support my kids if they didn't want to go, but I would very very strongly urge them to go.

[Jessie]

I don't think I would ever force college on the kids, if they did ask for my advice, I would talk to them about it and see what it is they think they wanted to do and whether it would be to their benefit or not, heck even at my age I'm still figuring out what I want to do, LOL.

[PrairieRose]

Personally, I don't think that college is for everyone. All 3 of our dk's have chosen to go and 2 of them have earned degrees and are working in their own fields. #3 is in her senior year. I'm proud that they went but I know from our experience as entrepreneurs that you don't have to have a degree to succeed you just have to have the drive to work and the desire to stick to it.

[Mom23boys]

I too would support my children if they didn't want to go, but would strongly try to influence them otherwise. I know the oldest will end up going to technical school which is fine by me as long as he learns some trade that he will be able to support himself with over his lifetime.

[paelthom]

I would want my dd to go to college and would push, but not shove, her in that direction. I'm hoping that she will get some fast food, miserable jobs in her teen years and decide that she wants more to life than that. Her dad is a college professor and she sees that he has it much better than the dad's of many of her friends. Right now she's back to wanting to be a vet so she know there are quite a few years of college ahead of her. If she choose to take a year or two off and work first, I would support that decision as well as long as she was working at a decent job and being a productive member of society. She would not be allowed to lay around all day and be a bum. Only the dogs and cats get to be lazy (unless maybe I hit the lottery and then I can too).

[Guest1]

Originally posted by mrscornbread
Higher education is non-negotiable in my home. Everyone will go to college and FINISH if I have to take them there myself...and they all know it!

ROFL!! Love that Robin!! Can I send Renee to live with you?!?!

[AmyBoz]

While I certainly hope that Julia and Patrick want to go to college and further their education, I also realize that college is not the answer for everyone. At the end of the day, I just want them to be happy with the choices they've made in their lives.